Have you ever felt inferior to a friend?
Does anyone else here ever feel inferior to someone?
To be more specific, I have a friend who is very pretty. Everyone always says it to her, she's incredibly confident and good with people. I feel so so inferior to her when it comes to looks. If I was better looking than her, I would be happy. But I'm not and I always think that nobody in their right mind would ever choose me over her. If people were asked to choose between us, they would go for her every single time. It makes me feel so ****.
I don't know how to get over this. I know that I'm the problem and that I need to get some self esteem and a sense of self worth but I just don't know how. It doesn't help that whenever I'm around her she laughs at the way people look and just adjusts her hair/make up/clothes all the time. It makes me feel self conscious like I should be doing the same because I'm not as pretty as her. And it also makes me think if she can say these things about other people, then what on earth is she thinking about me?
I really hate feeling like this. Any advice?
Sorry for the long-ish post.
To be more specific, I have a friend who is very pretty. Everyone always says it to her, she's incredibly confident and good with people. I feel so so inferior to her when it comes to looks. If I was better looking than her, I would be happy. But I'm not and I always think that nobody in their right mind would ever choose me over her. If people were asked to choose between us, they would go for her every single time. It makes me feel so ****.
I don't know how to get over this. I know that I'm the problem and that I need to get some self esteem and a sense of self worth but I just don't know how. It doesn't help that whenever I'm around her she laughs at the way people look and just adjusts her hair/make up/clothes all the time. It makes me feel self conscious like I should be doing the same because I'm not as pretty as her. And it also makes me think if she can say these things about other people, then what on earth is she thinking about me?
I really hate feeling like this. Any advice?
Sorry for the long-ish post.
Constantly.
Otherwise, we'd live in vanity of our own narcissism - your friend is gifted in the sense of confidence, it's but rare, nevertheless a great opportunity having a role model. Staying closer and observing what gives her the confidence; beside you stand better chance of gaining the essence of confidence, through living in constant challenge, than to be trapped in a delusional bubble until it's too late.
The beauty, is to find a source of positive, and constructive attitude aspiring towards achieving core confidence. Whether through finding new activities to step outside comfort zone, or do something about the looks. Don't let it put you down though, if you need, speak to this friend - people are willing to help more often than otherwise. Cherry pick the best traits, strive towards the confidence she has. In short, nobody could make you feel inferior without your permission.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBHzFb0toqc
Otherwise, we'd live in vanity of our own narcissism - your friend is gifted in the sense of confidence, it's but rare, nevertheless a great opportunity having a role model. Staying closer and observing what gives her the confidence; beside you stand better chance of gaining the essence of confidence, through living in constant challenge, than to be trapped in a delusional bubble until it's too late.
The beauty, is to find a source of positive, and constructive attitude aspiring towards achieving core confidence. Whether through finding new activities to step outside comfort zone, or do something about the looks. Don't let it put you down though, if you need, speak to this friend - people are willing to help more often than otherwise. Cherry pick the best traits, strive towards the confidence she has. In short, nobody could make you feel inferior without your permission.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBHzFb0toqc
Original post by Anonymous
Does anyone else here ever feel inferior to someone?
To be more specific, I have a friend who is very pretty. Everyone always says it to her, she's incredibly confident and good with people. I feel so so inferior to her when it comes to looks. If I was better looking than her, I would be happy. But I'm not and I always think that nobody in their right mind would ever choose me over her. If people were asked to choose between us, they would go for her every single time. It makes me feel so ****.
I don't know how to get over this. I know that I'm the problem and that I need to get some self esteem and a sense of self worth but I just don't know how. It doesn't help that whenever I'm around her she laughs at the way people look and just adjusts her hair/make up/clothes all the time. It makes me feel self conscious like I should be doing the same because I'm not as pretty as her. And it also makes me think if she can say these things about other people, then what on earth is she thinking about me?
I really hate feeling like this. Any advice?
Sorry for the long-ish post.
To be more specific, I have a friend who is very pretty. Everyone always says it to her, she's incredibly confident and good with people. I feel so so inferior to her when it comes to looks. If I was better looking than her, I would be happy. But I'm not and I always think that nobody in their right mind would ever choose me over her. If people were asked to choose between us, they would go for her every single time. It makes me feel so ****.
I don't know how to get over this. I know that I'm the problem and that I need to get some self esteem and a sense of self worth but I just don't know how. It doesn't help that whenever I'm around her she laughs at the way people look and just adjusts her hair/make up/clothes all the time. It makes me feel self conscious like I should be doing the same because I'm not as pretty as her. And it also makes me think if she can say these things about other people, then what on earth is she thinking about me?
I really hate feeling like this. Any advice?
Sorry for the long-ish post.
I get this about my friends, and also about my brother. Not about looks obviously, but about his life and his friends and general success which I don't have. You clearly have very low self esteem (like me), have you thought about some counselling?
Sometimes, I feel inferior to my friends in the sense that they seem like well-established people who know who they are and what they're about. They have their set goals, hobbies and ambitions whereas I sort of always feel like I'm in limbo mode trying to figure things out and not really knowing who I am or what I'm about or what I even want at times. Like, what it is to just be 'me'. It feels like they all know and are already at where I'm trying to be. Obviously, rationality says they probably get periods of confusion too but it just seems wherever they are, I am more confused than them.
With regards to what you have said, try and see why she is as confident as she is. Confidence doesn't only stem from looks and confidence really does make someone more attractive so that might play a key role in people taking a shine to her. Don't feel intimidated (I know, easier said than done) but try and focus on why you are friends (her company, her sense of humour, etc) and remember the bigger picture. Don't get self conscious about what she thinks of you. People are always more critical of strangers and much warmer to their friends. Not on purpose - it just happens naturally that people are less judgmental of their friends automatically. Also, just learn to accept yourself and once you stop comparing, you'll just get on with it and be most assured. But to answer the thread title, I think most people feel inferior to their friends in one way or another.
With regards to what you have said, try and see why she is as confident as she is. Confidence doesn't only stem from looks and confidence really does make someone more attractive so that might play a key role in people taking a shine to her. Don't feel intimidated (I know, easier said than done) but try and focus on why you are friends (her company, her sense of humour, etc) and remember the bigger picture. Don't get self conscious about what she thinks of you. People are always more critical of strangers and much warmer to their friends. Not on purpose - it just happens naturally that people are less judgmental of their friends automatically. Also, just learn to accept yourself and once you stop comparing, you'll just get on with it and be most assured. But to answer the thread title, I think most people feel inferior to their friends in one way or another.
(edited 12 years ago)
All i do is think and think all the time, i know who i am, what i should aim for and how successful i am going to be, and to be quite honest i could make a forecast graph of my success and already have in time for August 25th. But then again, ill be playing on games, watching movies and Doctor House M.D. Good times good times.
You're only in competition with one person in life, and that's yourself.
Original post by JediMindTrick
You're only in competition with one person in life, and that's yourself.
wise words.
Original post by JediMindTrick
You're only in competition with one person in life, and that's yourself.
Unless you want to be a lawyer, in which case you have thousands of people eager to pound you into the dirt at every opportunity and trample your corpse to get a leg up on the corporate ladder
I had a friend a few years back that I couldn't ever seem to one up. People always said I was prettier than her but that was besides the point. She was pretty too, and had this thing about making EVERYBODY love her. When I made other friends, I didn't really like introducing her to them cos' she tended to overshadow me and I was scared they'd like her more and replace me (which DID happen a few times). It's a bit annoying when I look back at her current group of friends which were mine first but hey! you don't own people.
I've found that when I don't try to compete, it's better. I've found my niche of friends and am popular in my own way. And happy. Cos' that's what counts. And anyone that is really my friend wouldn't dump me for her anyway :P
She does tend to get a bit peeved when I get more attention than she does even in situations where I'm clearly dominant(think quirky stuff and gatherings). Like she's just supposed to be automatically superior and doesn't get why everyone isn't fawning over her. It's no more that annoying. Just funny, and I feel a bit sorry for her.
She's still my friend and we hang out sometimes but I've learned that different things are attractive to different people. Work on your strong points. Forget about competing with her. That is a non-issue. There's sure to be people out there who'd engage in convo with you and not pay much attention to her. If you feel inferior, it shows most of the time.
Think: Would you rather chat up the confident bubbly friend, or the moody one to the side? You can change that!
I've found that when I don't try to compete, it's better. I've found my niche of friends and am popular in my own way. And happy. Cos' that's what counts. And anyone that is really my friend wouldn't dump me for her anyway :P
She does tend to get a bit peeved when I get more attention than she does even in situations where I'm clearly dominant(think quirky stuff and gatherings). Like she's just supposed to be automatically superior and doesn't get why everyone isn't fawning over her. It's no more that annoying. Just funny, and I feel a bit sorry for her.
She's still my friend and we hang out sometimes but I've learned that different things are attractive to different people. Work on your strong points. Forget about competing with her. That is a non-issue. There's sure to be people out there who'd engage in convo with you and not pay much attention to her. If you feel inferior, it shows most of the time.
Think: Would you rather chat up the confident bubbly friend, or the moody one to the side? You can change that!
Yes. The other night on a night out I got REALLY upset, because my friend was getting so much male attention and I felt like her ugly friend (looking back, she was grabbing guys and telling them they were hot, so it was maybe more about her outward behaviour rather than her looks), thought it didn't help when a guy said to her "I'd do you... not her though."
Original post by maea05
I had a friend a few years back that I couldn't ever seem to one up. People always said I was prettier than her but that was besides the point. She was pretty too, and had this thing about making EVERYBODY love her. When I made other friends, I didn't really like introducing her to them cos' she tended to overshadow me and I was scared they'd like her more and replace me (which DID happen a few times). It's a bit annoying when I look back at her current group of friends which were mine first but hey! you don't own people.
I've found that when I don't try to compete, it's better. I've found my niche of friends and am popular in my own way. And happy. Cos' that's what counts. And anyone that is really my friend wouldn't dump me for her anyway :P
She does tend to get a bit peeved when I get more attention than she does even in situations where I'm clearly dominant(think quirky stuff and gatherings). Like she's just supposed to be automatically superior and doesn't get why everyone isn't fawning over her. It's no more that annoying. Just funny, and I feel a bit sorry for her.
She's still my friend and we hang out sometimes but I've learned that different things are attractive to different people. Work on your strong points. Forget about competing with her. That is a non-issue. There's sure to be people out there who'd engage in convo with you and not pay much attention to her. If you feel inferior, it shows most of the time.
Think: Would you rather chat up the confident bubbly friend, or the moody one to the side? You can change that!
I've found that when I don't try to compete, it's better. I've found my niche of friends and am popular in my own way. And happy. Cos' that's what counts. And anyone that is really my friend wouldn't dump me for her anyway :P
She does tend to get a bit peeved when I get more attention than she does even in situations where I'm clearly dominant(think quirky stuff and gatherings). Like she's just supposed to be automatically superior and doesn't get why everyone isn't fawning over her. It's no more that annoying. Just funny, and I feel a bit sorry for her.
She's still my friend and we hang out sometimes but I've learned that different things are attractive to different people. Work on your strong points. Forget about competing with her. That is a non-issue. There's sure to be people out there who'd engage in convo with you and not pay much attention to her. If you feel inferior, it shows most of the time.
Think: Would you rather chat up the confident bubbly friend, or the moody one to the side? You can change that!
This is exactly how I feel! Thank you so much for your response. She absolutely loves being the centre of attention, we both play a musical instrument and, I kid you not, she will grab every single opportunity to show off to people about it and also sing. Embarrassing. Whereas I don't show off about it or my singing voice. She also thinks that everyone is really concerned with her life because it's soo interesting
I sound really bitter now but she did something yesterday which really upset me and I've realised that she isn't a nice person and I don't need her around. Sorry for sounding bitchy and thank you to everyone who replied!
its natural to be jelous of girls who are good looking and also really outgoing
Yeah, but it all balances out. There's a friend who is a lot prettier than me but I'm able to get better grades than her. There's one who's a lot smarter than me but I find it easier than he does to make friends. Even though I feel inferior in one aspect, they feel inferior in another. I think it's important thing to remember that even though you're jealous of one thing there's a very good chance they feel inadequate next to you in other situations.
Original post by FudgeMonkeys
Yeah, but it all balances out. There's a friend who is a lot prettier than me but I'm able to get better grades than her. There's one who's a lot smarter than me but I find it easier than he does to make friends. Even though I feel inferior in one aspect, they feel inferior in another. I think it's important thing to remember that even though you're jealous of one thing there's a very good chance they feel inadequate next to you in other situations.
Nice one there
Academically, yes.
A few of my friends wack out A*'s like they're nothing.
Jelousy.
A few of my friends wack out A*'s like they're nothing.
Jelousy.
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