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One of my closest friends is having a party and hasnt invited me

Reply 60

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by lovers in japan

Have you asked her yet?

Not yet, I was going to wait til I see her next in a few days time so I can get an instant reply.

Reply 61

im so academic

15

Original post by Anonymous

Not yet, I was going to wait til I see her next in a few days time so I can get an instant reply.

Tell us what happens. :teeth:

Reply 62

SweatyGoldfish

1

Original post by Anonymous

Not yet, I was going to wait til I see her next in a few days time so I can get an instant reply.

Agh just hurry up. Don't you realise we have nothing better to do than spectate a strangers social disputes.

And I'm not making fun of everyone, seriously this is the only vaguely interesting thing that I've come across today. Yep, thats how thrilling my life is. :colondollar:

Reply 63

ForgettingWhatsername

11

Sounds to me like she just forgot to tick you off on the list on facebook, happens all the time! Especially if she was talking about it in front of you, she wouldn't do that if she deliberately didn't invite you, unless she's extraordinarily dumb and tactless. Just ask her about it in a casual way, something like "So where's my invite then?" The sooner the better, otherwise you'll spend days fretting over what is in all likelihood a silly misunderstanding!

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 64

Anonymous #2

I have a similar problem to you. My 2 best friends ( us three have always been extremely close, even going abroad with one of them and their family ) have kind of excluded me recently. We started college this september and we have kind of been distant but I thought it was because they were busy with college and stuff. Recently I was one of their phones and reading through past messages I was reading stuff like, 'oh whens this guy gonna go' and stuff like to each other one of them kept saying to the other come to mines to stay over and stuff. They did this before in secondary but invited me every time ( or so I think anyways). They didnt invite me to any of their recent stayovers. Once I even found out they were having one and said is it allright if i come? and they said oh my house is too small or my mum dosent want much people, implying that they would cancel it so I didnt miss out. A message I read then said thats okay i'll stay over yours anyway. This was in September and in October they were getting closer and seemed like everything was okay, but still I have this niggling doubt that they're leaving me out for some reason, I cant remember having done anything. Also they way they act with me is exactly the same, they tell me everything going on in their lives like they did before and when we hang out its all the same. I definitely over analyse things and I cant really confront them because if I say why did you do this, they would say then why were you reading my messages and it will cause a big argument and I still want to stay friends as these are friends who i've been really close with for a long time. Maybe I was thinking a reasonable explanation is that they wanted to stay over just them two as it is a longer hassle calling a third person especially for the person inviting them to thier house (only one friend invites everyone). Maybe the friend who invites everyone just finds it easier with the other person or maybe they've got something against me ? The other friend is exactly the same and I dont think hes the problem although im not sure. Im seriously confused and don't know what to do as these are my closest friends and we have so much in common and like has anybody got any advice? Also recently they seem back to normal and they seem like they are inviting me to everything, shall I just leave it and carry on as normal ?

Reply 65

Dr.Kweks waszabi

Ask her subtly maybe jokingly but she is your friend so you should be able to ask plainly and you deserve the truth so...

Reply 66

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for so many replies guys, its not like shes decided she doesn't want to be friends with me cos only last week she texted about us meeting up (and we did).

Reply 67

AwsomePossum

12

Original post by scotland369

This. Something like: "hey babes, whatcha doing *insert day of party*?" If she lies then confront the bitch.

Only in Scotland are we this forthcoming :L

Reply 68

funsongfactory

11

Original post by Anonymous

As per the title, someone I've been friends with literally all my life, and who'd I'd regard as one of my closest friends hasn't invited me to a house party she is having. I saw her yesterday and we got on as well as usual so she isn't 'off' with me or anything. So I genuinally don't know why I wasn't invited and I'm pretty gutted tbh. Anyone know how I could diplomatically mention my hurt at not being invited? I still want us to remain friends.

I had that a few weeks ago, sucks huh!

Reply 69

flyawaywithme.

my 'bestfriend' did this.. i saw all the pictures on facebook the next day even though, when i asked to see her that night she said she was staying in with her family. On facebook they also had an event. When i was looking through the pictures, half of the people just turned up as +1s.. an i, her bestfriend, wasnt invited. I ignored her, she made excuses, i ignored her more, it went on like that(untill she begged for forgivness)
if she was a true bestfriend she would tell you, i know how you feel, but dont worry, talk to her and make her feel guilty as **** xxxxxx

Reply 70

rudin94

Wow I've sooo been there, the problem with just asking is that it can make things really awkward, and if you're someone like me you feel bad, and don't say anything. One of my friends did say something once, and completely broke off with that friend group....all I would say ignore it, don't think about it and just continue to be a great friend to them, life has a way of working things out (at least I hope so!)

Reply 71

YB101

17

When i had my party, i didn't formally invite her because I just assumed she'd be there because she's always around mine. Maybe she assumes the same, ask her. The only way you'll find out

Reply 72

FallenMan

2

Perhaps the longer you leave it the more she'll wonder why you didn't ask sooner, just casually ask her if she's going to be doing much for her birthday, then BAM answered

Reply 73

Voivode

What I'd do in that situation is ask her something like, "Hey I've heard that you're having a big party, and I just want to know if I've done something wrong or upset you in any way because I know I haven't been asked..."

Playing the immediate victim doesn't ever seem to work, I've found.

Reply 74

Luxray

15

Wow if I was you and you felt you were close, you should be upfront and say 'oh btw I noticed on facebook you are having a party, am I invited? if not then its fine'

That way she won't feel too rude/mean for not inviting you because you said its fine (but she should cos I think its rude not to invite you)

Reply 75

Luxray

15

Original post by Anonymous

shall I just leave it and carry on as normal ?

That was quite hard to read but I think I got the jist. My advice is carry on as normal and make the effort to do things with them, to show you value their friendship. And stop snooping through their phones. If they start acting wierd and ignoring you then I say get some new friends. Move on. But for now if things are fine, then keep being friendly.

Reply 76

sophisticated

17

Original post by Anonymous

I have a similar problem to you. My 2 best friends ( us three have always been extremely close, even going abroad with one of them and their family ) have kind of excluded me recently. We started college this september and we have kind of been distant but I thought it was because they were busy with college and stuff. Recently I was one of their phones and reading through past messages I was reading stuff like, 'oh whens this guy gonna go' and stuff like to each other one of them kept saying to the other come to mines to stay over and stuff. They did this before in secondary but invited me every time ( or so I think anyways). They didnt invite me to any of their recent stayovers. Once I even found out they were having one and said is it allright if i come? and they said oh my house is too small or my mum dosent want much people, implying that they would cancel it so I didnt miss out. A message I read then said thats okay i'll stay over yours anyway. This was in September and in October they were getting closer and seemed like everything was okay, but still I have this niggling doubt that they're leaving me out for some reason, I cant remember having done anything. Also they way they act with me is exactly the same, they tell me everything going on in their lives like they did before and when we hang out its all the same. I definitely over analyse things and I cant really confront them because if I say why did you do this, they would say then why were you reading my messages and it will cause a big argument and I still want to stay friends as these are friends who i've been really close with for a long time. Maybe I was thinking a reasonable explanation is that they wanted to stay over just them two as it is a longer hassle calling a third person especially for the person inviting them to thier house (only one friend invites everyone). Maybe the friend who invites everyone just finds it easier with the other person or maybe they've got something against me ? The other friend is exactly the same and I dont think hes the problem although im not sure. Im seriously confused and don't know what to do as these are my closest friends and we have so much in common and like has anybody got any advice? Also recently they seem back to normal and they seem like they are inviting me to everything, shall I just leave it and carry on as normal ?

Wow, someone needs to learn to use paragraphs.

Reply 77

v2p

9

Depending on how close is close (I know you said in the title 'one of my closest friends', but as a guy my interpretation of closest friends may be like totally different to what you're referring to), if she is like your best friend and you two together are like known as best friends, then asking 'why wasn't I invited' in the various forms (such as asking subtly or jokingly) other people have mentioned here seems to be the best thing to do.

But if she is a good friend, like say you're both in the same group of friends, but the group is fairly large, but you're not her sole best friend, then asking in that negative way might be off-putting and cause an argument. Instead you could try and flip it round and be like, 'Hey, can I come to your party?'. That way she would most probably just say yes, problem solved. And if in the likely instance that she actually did just forget to invite you, her response will just be, 'Oh of course you can come etc etc, I must have not invited you to the facebook group, sorry'.

Reply 78

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by FallenMan

Perhaps the longer you leave it the more she'll wonder why you didn't ask sooner, just casually ask her if she's going to be doing much for her birthday, then BAM answered