Falling out of love with my boyfriend

......are you from lancashire from any chance??
my flatmates in same situation

I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. We did long distance the whole way through uni and everything was so fantastic, I've never been happier. I really thought we were going to go the whole way: moving in together, marriage, kids.

I think somewhere along the line, a few months ago, we just got lazy with our relationship. Some big things happened in my life (graduation, passing driving test, new job, company car) all within a few weeks of each other. Communication just seemed to break down. We used to talk about absolutely everything and he was my best friend, but it just seemed to tail off :/ He stopped ever texting me back, he didn't ask me how things went after I'd had job interviews/driving test/graduation. I thought he wasn't interested in me anymore and we drifted apart a lot.

On Christmas eve I finally brought all this up with him and I kind of expected us to break up at the end of this talk. To my surprise (because he'd seemed so disinterested in me for months), he was devastated I was considering breaking up with him. He cried and begged that I didn't end it. I agreed I wanted to give our relationship a chance, but now I'm wondering if I made the right decision. I just don't feel the same way about him that I once did. I really want to but I just can't. I've totally gone off sex and being intimate with him. I love him, but in more of a 'friend' way. He's such an amazing guy, so kind and sensitive, so its killing me that I just don't seem to love him like I did Little ridiculous things have started to annoy me, such as the way he's so indecisive and I have to make all the decisions, sometimes he's clingy on nights out, how he can't ever chill out and relax and is always worrying about something, that he doesn't like dogs and can't handle my families new puppy.....

It was my birthday yesterday and he bought me a dress costing £130. I feel so bad! It didn't fit and we're exchanging it (and I really didn't like it to be honest) but it really is the thought that counts!!! It was really thoughtful and inside I'm having all these feelings about breaking up with him. There's another guy I know as well who I kind of like and I feel so terrible for thinking about this other guy in that way when I already have a great boyfriend.

I'm so torn and don't know what to do Do I try and salvage my relationship or will I be dragging it out and wasting my time? I feel so sad.

I know this feeling myself. It's a difficult decision but if you feel that you are no longer in love with him the best thing to do is to end it, it's hard because it's a large part of your life and especially when you really saw you both ending up together (believe me, I know!) but it's also not fair of you to allow him to believe that you're putting in as much effort as he would be to make it work and that you genuinely feel the same as you used to, when you don't.

You should talk to him about it and explain everything about how you are feeling and that you just think you need time apart from him. If he's willing to, maintain the friendship with him although this is probably going to make it harder for either of you to really fully move on in reality.

But honestly, it sounds like deep down you know what you want to do, but you're afraid of hurting his feelings. His feelings will be hurt but it's just better if you're honest and tactful about it. Also make sure you are clear about what you want; if you want to fully break up he should know that. If you feel like you just want time alone and some space you should tell him that.

I know it's horrible, but good luck.

Thanks for your reply. I think what I'd really like is a couple months break to work out what I want. At the moment I feel suffocated by the relationship and confused about what to do. Even I'm confused about what a 'break' means though, because its basically splitting up :/
I think the love for him is still there, but its kind of buried beneath a load of worry and doubt. I'm not sure if all the little things that have suddenly started to annoy me are just me being silly and trying to ruin it for us. He really is a very unique, caring, faithful, considerate guy and he really truly loves me, which isn't something I want to just throw away. Maybe a weekend away together somewhere relaxing would help me to decide whether we should be together? If we can't enjoy ourselves in that situation then when can we?

Thanks for your reply. I think what I'd really like is a couple months break to work out what I want. At the moment I feel suffocated by the relationship and confused about what to do. Even I'm confused about what a 'break' means though, because its basically splitting up :/
I think the love for him is still there, but its kind of buried beneath a load of worry and doubt. I'm not sure if all the little things that have suddenly started to annoy me are just me being silly and trying to ruin it for us. He really is a very unique, caring, faithful, considerate guy and he really truly loves me, which isn't something I want to just throw away. Maybe a weekend away together somewhere relaxing would help me to decide whether we should be together? If we can't enjoy ourselves in that situation then when can we?