The Student Room Group

Is this a big age gap?

I'm 17, my boyfriend 21. Personally I don't think the age gap is huge. I mean my dad is four years older than my mum so it's normal to me. But a few of my friends are like "Oh my god, he's so old!", but I don't think he is. I don't think i'm too young to handle this relationship either, we're really happy together.

What do people think? Just curious, not worried about it or anything.

Thanks
Reply 1
To me it's definitely not to old. My mum met my dad when she was 18 and he was 36. They're still together 25 years later. My 18 year old friend is in a relationship with a 27 year old. I went out with a 16 year old boy when I was 18. As long as it's not illegal, "age is just a number" and we all have different levels of maturity
Reply 2
Not a massive age gap. People tend to have 5 year gap mostly. Even more. So don't worry. Just people blow it out of proportion, as some girls are 16 and dating 26 year olds.
Reply 3
let age = a
The minimum acceptable age would be (a/2) + 7
Everybody knows that the age difference is proportional to age.
that's not very big, you're almost an adult anyway.
Reply 5
I'm 21.
If I went out with a 17 year old girl that would definitely be weird in my eyes.
I mean it would be great because she'd be impressionable and as an older guy looks are nowhere near as important because... Well... I'm older.. But still...

Must find more 17 year old girls.
Reply 6
Nope; as far as I'm concerned, that barely even counts as an age gap! When I was 17 I met my boyfriend who was nearly 30 and we're still happily together two years later. It depends entirely on the personalities of the people involved.
Reply 7
Original post by dontbtz
let age = a
The minimum acceptable age would be (a/2) + 7
Everybody knows that the age difference is proportional to age.


That is bloody brilliant :biggrin: I will be now be telling my friend that since he is 20 and been with people aged 16-31 :wink:
Reply 8
17 to 21 is not much, but it can be enough to make a difference. My personal experience of age gaps are that they don't generally work. When I was 20 I had a 16 year old girlfriend, and when I went to uni she cheated on me, but that likely has more to do with who she was than the age gap.

Currently I'm divorcing my wife of seven years after having been together for almost thirteen years. We met when I was 21 and she was 30. The age gap certainly played a part in the failure of this relationship, more especially because when we had kids I stayed at home with them as my wife was obviously much further along the career path than I so it made no sense for me to work and pay someone to look after the kids. My wife just could never cope with the realities of this and was obviously resentful and jealous of the time I spent with the kids, whilst at the same time having no respect for me for putting the needs of the children before my own desire to have a career, etc...



So, in your instance don't worry about it. Just about the hardest thing you'll have to cope with is one or other of you moves away for uni or something. And apart from anything else at your age finding a new partner if you feel the need for it isn't exactly hard...
I'm 18 and although it may sound weird to some I would say a guy that is 21/22 is sctually too young for me, if I want a serious relationship that is . But this is because I'm more of a settle down type and want a man and they haven't usually got their **** together at 21/22 yet.

It always depends on the individuals. When I was 17 dating a 21 year old would not be a big age gap at all. But it depends on how you are at 17 and how he is at 21.
Doesn't sound too big to me. And so long as you're happy that's all that matters really. :smile:

I know a couple with a 45 year old age gap (!!) who have been happily together for 6 years now. The older one's a pensioner and the younger one's still at uni, but they're really cute together and definitely work.
Reply 11
Its not a big age gap really, i dated a 16 year old when i was 20.

You like who you like and its your point of view that matters, not other people. I imagine there would be better long term prospects if you were both older and mature but i see little reason as to why people would reject a potential mate on the basis of a few people who may not approve. Infact i would consider such behaviour weak and anybody putting age before how they actually feel probably is'nt worth the time and effort.
at a younger age, i believe that age can make a difference, as people in their late teens/early twenties often vary in maturity considerably.
additionally the older person will be experiencing new things such as moving to uni, which can put a strain on the relationship, be it distance or just jealousy

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