How to get over not being with a pretty girl?
Earlier this year I met a girl on an online forum who I thought was perfect. Not only was she very pretty but she came across as insecure and shy, and when I spoke to her online she was very sweet. After a little while we arranged to meet up for a date. I thought I had made a good impression but after chatting with her later I realised I had said some silly things etc.
She decided not to take things any further. I found this humiliating as I've never met a girl like her before and she was pretty much everything I've ever wanted. I've never been confident or sociable enough to ask girls out before and losing a girl who I thought was amazing has ruined my confidence. Nobody compares to her and I've tried talking to her and texting her etc but she's made up her mind so I decided to delete her off Facebook to try and get over her. But it hasn't worked and I can't get her off my mind.
I listened to the things that she said she didn't like about me and I have tried my best to change and make myself attractive to girls. But I don't think anyone I meet will compare to her because I'm just not very good at making friends and socialising with people. I'm so awkward in social situations and can never think of anything to say as I just don't view myself as having anything to say that is interesting or that people will care about. I'm trying my best to be confident, likeable and sociable but it's hard for me as I'm starting from a point of having the lowest confidence I've ever had and I think that people just generally look at me as weird and awkward etc.
I have a new girlfriend now who personality wise is absolutely perfect but she's not that pretty and she's pretty overweight. I so so wish that I didn't care and that it wasn't an issue, but it is and I look at guys who are not any better looking than me and see the pretty girls they are with and I get really jealous. There are times when I do feel like I genuinely love her but most of the time I just think about what might have been with this other girl.
I want to stop caring about all this and just be a confident and happy person who isn't filled with thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy but I can't help it and no matter how hard I try to make new friends I just always feel like I'm uninteresting and boring. Need advice on this because it's been seriously upsetting me for months now.
She decided not to take things any further. I found this humiliating as I've never met a girl like her before and she was pretty much everything I've ever wanted. I've never been confident or sociable enough to ask girls out before and losing a girl who I thought was amazing has ruined my confidence. Nobody compares to her and I've tried talking to her and texting her etc but she's made up her mind so I decided to delete her off Facebook to try and get over her. But it hasn't worked and I can't get her off my mind.
I listened to the things that she said she didn't like about me and I have tried my best to change and make myself attractive to girls. But I don't think anyone I meet will compare to her because I'm just not very good at making friends and socialising with people. I'm so awkward in social situations and can never think of anything to say as I just don't view myself as having anything to say that is interesting or that people will care about. I'm trying my best to be confident, likeable and sociable but it's hard for me as I'm starting from a point of having the lowest confidence I've ever had and I think that people just generally look at me as weird and awkward etc.
I have a new girlfriend now who personality wise is absolutely perfect but she's not that pretty and she's pretty overweight. I so so wish that I didn't care and that it wasn't an issue, but it is and I look at guys who are not any better looking than me and see the pretty girls they are with and I get really jealous. There are times when I do feel like I genuinely love her but most of the time I just think about what might have been with this other girl.
I want to stop caring about all this and just be a confident and happy person who isn't filled with thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy but I can't help it and no matter how hard I try to make new friends I just always feel like I'm uninteresting and boring. Need advice on this because it's been seriously upsetting me for months now.
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Original post by letitia
I feel awful for your current girlfriend... Why would you get with another girl if you still have feelings for this other girl?
This. How would you feel if a girl got with you and then went onto the internet to complain about you? What a backstabber. I hope your girlfriend realises and leaves.
Original post by Anonymous
Earlier this year I met a girl on an online forum who I thought was perfect. Not only was she very pretty but she came across as insecure and shy, and when I spoke to her online she was very sweet. After a little while we arranged to meet up for a date. I thought I had made a good impression but after chatting with her later I realised I had said some silly things etc.
She decided not to take things any further. I found this humiliating as I've never met a girl like her before and she was pretty much everything I've ever wanted. I've never been confident or sociable enough to ask girls out before and losing a girl who I thought was amazing has ruined my confidence. Nobody compares to her and I've tried talking to her and texting her etc but she's made up her mind so I decided to delete her off Facebook to try and get over her. But it hasn't worked and I can't get her off my mind.
I listened to the things that she said she didn't like about me and I have tried my best to change and make myself attractive to girls. But I don't think anyone I meet will compare to her because I'm just not very good at making friends and socialising with people. I'm so awkward in social situations and can never think of anything to say as I just don't view myself as having anything to say that is interesting or that people will care about. I'm trying my best to be confident, likeable and sociable but it's hard for me as I'm starting from a point of having the lowest confidence I've ever had and I think that people just generally look at me as weird and awkward etc.
I have a new girlfriend now who personality wise is absolutely perfect but she's not that pretty and she's pretty overweight. I so so wish that I didn't care and that it wasn't an issue, but it is and I look at guys who are not any better looking than me and see the pretty girls they are with and I get really jealous. There are times when I do feel like I genuinely love her but most of the time I just think about what might have been with this other girl.
I want to stop caring about all this and just be a confident and happy person who isn't filled with thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy but I can't help it and no matter how hard I try to make new friends I just always feel like I'm uninteresting and boring. Need advice on this because it's been seriously upsetting me for months now.
She decided not to take things any further. I found this humiliating as I've never met a girl like her before and she was pretty much everything I've ever wanted. I've never been confident or sociable enough to ask girls out before and losing a girl who I thought was amazing has ruined my confidence. Nobody compares to her and I've tried talking to her and texting her etc but she's made up her mind so I decided to delete her off Facebook to try and get over her. But it hasn't worked and I can't get her off my mind.
I listened to the things that she said she didn't like about me and I have tried my best to change and make myself attractive to girls. But I don't think anyone I meet will compare to her because I'm just not very good at making friends and socialising with people. I'm so awkward in social situations and can never think of anything to say as I just don't view myself as having anything to say that is interesting or that people will care about. I'm trying my best to be confident, likeable and sociable but it's hard for me as I'm starting from a point of having the lowest confidence I've ever had and I think that people just generally look at me as weird and awkward etc.
I have a new girlfriend now who personality wise is absolutely perfect but she's not that pretty and she's pretty overweight. I so so wish that I didn't care and that it wasn't an issue, but it is and I look at guys who are not any better looking than me and see the pretty girls they are with and I get really jealous. There are times when I do feel like I genuinely love her but most of the time I just think about what might have been with this other girl.
I want to stop caring about all this and just be a confident and happy person who isn't filled with thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy but I can't help it and no matter how hard I try to make new friends I just always feel like I'm uninteresting and boring. Need advice on this because it's been seriously upsetting me for months now.
Do you not think that those pretty girls could have a crap personality.. if you like this girl and she's fun to be around and she makes you feel good then.. stop letting her looks bother you. Are you insecure because you feel guys will pick on you because of the girl you've chosen.. because if it is.. that's really shallow.
Who cares if she's fat.. your friends or other guy's can piss off.. because if you love her.. no one else's opinion should matter except hers.
What a horrible thing to say about your girlfriend, looks are important sure and I'm not going to sit here and talk down to you, when I value looks as somewhat important also. But to get with her, knowing you don't find her attractive and still have feelings for this other girl, seems to me you took the first opportunity for someone new and you're going to end up hurting her.
Break up with her (dump sounds like she did something wrong and by the looks of it, you're in the wrong), seek some counselling or something to improve how you view yourself and then see what happens in regards to women. But just remember although looks are important, there are more to a girl than her bust, her ass and her face.
Break up with her (dump sounds like she did something wrong and by the looks of it, you're in the wrong), seek some counselling or something to improve how you view yourself and then see what happens in regards to women. But just remember although looks are important, there are more to a girl than her bust, her ass and her face.
Jesus christ man, if you don't find her attractive then why are you with her? If you knew you wouldn't be happy just finding her attractive for her personality then why bother in the first place.
Do the poor girl a favour and leave before you break her heart even more by cheating or something equally stupid.
Do the poor girl a favour and leave before you break her heart even more by cheating or something equally stupid.
If you were good looking enough to get a preety girl, you would have got one, so dont think about "what could have been" becuase with your attrativeness level it probabaly was not meant to be. Howvere having a good looking partner may only be one aspect of happiness, work on other ways too reach happpiness, eg each a academic or monetary goal
Original post by Jakeh
What a horrible thing to say about your girlfriend, looks are important sure and I'm not going to sit here and talk down to you, when I value looks as somewhat important also. But to get with her, knowing you don't find her attractive and still have feelings for this other girl, seems to me you took the first opportunity for someone new and you're going to end up hurting her.
Break up with her (dump sounds like she did something wrong and by the looks of it, you're in the wrong), seek some counselling or something to improve how you view yourself and then see what happens in regards to women. But just remember although looks are important, there are more to a girl than her bust, her ass and her face.
Break up with her (dump sounds like she did something wrong and by the looks of it, you're in the wrong), seek some counselling or something to improve how you view yourself and then see what happens in regards to women. But just remember although looks are important, there are more to a girl than her bust, her ass and her face.
Yes.. wow.. can't believe a man actually said that. Kudos to you.
Im going to be controversial here and ask, do you actually fancy your gf? If not, shock horror, its ok not to be with her
Original post by hannahchan
Yes.. wow.. can't believe a man actually said that. Kudos to you.
Plenty of guys on here are like this though! Although as I said, I'm not completely free of prejudice, looks are of somewhat importance.
Original post by R4INBOW
You're a bit of a prick.
word
Please leave your current GF, she clearly deserves someone much better.
You made the worst mistake you can make online in putting a girl you had never met on a pedastool and not bearing in mind that the internet offers a massive level of availability but also competition and it's likely that the girl was talking to other guys.
As for your girlfriend, grow some balls and ditch her. Whilst looks shouldn't be the most important thing you should never settle for somebody you are not attracted to.
As for your girlfriend, grow some balls and ditch her. Whilst looks shouldn't be the most important thing you should never settle for somebody you are not attracted to.
Ahhhhh worried now : /
I'm sorry you're getting so much stick for this OP! Whilst I can understand where all the abuse is coming from, I understand what you're saying too.
It can take years to get over someone, and what are you supposed to do in that time? Just sit around and feel sorry for yourself? What if you do come across someone you like? Should you be like 'oh sorry I'm still not over her from 2 years ago' or would you give it a shot which could possibly give you the push you need in order to get over your previous partner?
I think that as far as first loves go, or whatever, sometimes you might not completely get over them, and are constantly thinking 'What if?!' but at the end of the day, you're getting nowhere with it. The same thing happened to me, and I've just learnt to accept that it wasn't meant to be. I am much happier accepting that I am not meant to be with that person, and that one day I'll meet someone better (hopefully!). You've done good cutting her out of your life, and that's the way it needs to stay.
As for your current girlfriend, are you sure you want to be with her? I'm not sure that "how to get over her not being pretty" is the main issue here. Unfortunately, I don't think being with her has had the desired effect I previously mentioned, about her possibly helping you get over someone, so I'm not sure what the point is in you staying together. Physical attraction is important, and if you are still thinking 'what if?' over somebody else, then it isn't fair on her. But I understand you aren't trying to be malicious.
It can take years to get over someone, and what are you supposed to do in that time? Just sit around and feel sorry for yourself? What if you do come across someone you like? Should you be like 'oh sorry I'm still not over her from 2 years ago' or would you give it a shot which could possibly give you the push you need in order to get over your previous partner?
I think that as far as first loves go, or whatever, sometimes you might not completely get over them, and are constantly thinking 'What if?!' but at the end of the day, you're getting nowhere with it. The same thing happened to me, and I've just learnt to accept that it wasn't meant to be. I am much happier accepting that I am not meant to be with that person, and that one day I'll meet someone better (hopefully!). You've done good cutting her out of your life, and that's the way it needs to stay.
As for your current girlfriend, are you sure you want to be with her? I'm not sure that "how to get over her not being pretty" is the main issue here. Unfortunately, I don't think being with her has had the desired effect I previously mentioned, about her possibly helping you get over someone, so I'm not sure what the point is in you staying together. Physical attraction is important, and if you are still thinking 'what if?' over somebody else, then it isn't fair on her. But I understand you aren't trying to be malicious.
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