Girl is hot and cold

Hello everyone!
So lately this girl I met at the gym has been taking some space in my head. She also happens to be pretty young (19) while I'm a decade older. I'm pretty accomplished, tall with dark hair and stubble, have a fit body and often get good remarks about my looks from both men and women.
I remember noticing her first a few months back but initially I didn't look at her romantically as I was in an exclusive relationship. We would exchange a few glances here and there which may or may not have been anything.
I occasionally would notice that she would whisper with her cousin around me, or talk in their own language (as they're from another country but born here).
Few months went by and I can't even remember how or when but I started noticing more and more how attractive that girl looked to me.
I started feeling drawn to her and would look at her while she would stare back at me and we would hold the gaze for a few seconds. Sometimes we would both break a hint of a smile. I made a conscious effort not to look at her too often because I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
At some point I decided to talk to her, it was the day before the gym would close for a few days due to public holiday. We joked a little around the vacation thing and I teased her a little.
We were sharing the same workout machine and every time I would finish my set, I would put the weight pin back to where she had it and change back the handle to the one she was using.
She did the same thing for me as well, and as she would change back the handle she would look me in the eyes over her shoulder and give me a beautiful smile and she did that every single time, every single set. I told her she was such a sweetheart for doing that for me and she giggled and gave me a nice smile.
As she was leaving that day she turned and gave a quick look back at me from the door.
When we returned after a few days, I noticed her through the mirror going out of her way to get her face in front of me ,as I was wearing my headphones, to say hello with a smile that melted my heart.
Some days went and we would stare and smile, sometimes while walking towards each other from half across the room and then I would occasionally greet her with a sweet nickname and we would chat a little, though a few times the tension was pretty high and I couldn't find many words. She would remember and mention things I complimented her on, I would mention I remember her doing something and she would say that she noticed me doing X thing as well and that she noticed that a dropped a weight on my foot (while I was around her lol).
When I came one day with my arm pretty battered due to some extreme sport I'm practicing she came over and asked what happened and if I'm hurting.
She also occasionally asked for my help with exercises which is normal, but my thinking is that if she was annoyed by me she probably wouldn't do some or most of those things.
Now, since we live pretty close and walk the same way back home, what happened yesterday is that I asked her how was her workout going, to which she replied she was almost done.
I then replied I had one more exercise as well, and casually said that we could walk back together if she wants.
She just looked at me for a whole second and said "sure if we finish together".
I wasn't looking at her at the moment and stayed silent for a few seconds. Then as I turned my back and started walking back to my plates she continued with "wow did you get sunburnt on your shoulders?". I turned around, smiled and joked for a moment about how that happened and went to finish my workout. I looked around a little and didn't see her anywhere. Went to collect my stuff from the boys' lockers, went over to the booth for a few moments to say hello to the owner of the gym, didn't see her anywhere again so I left.
In my mind if she intended to avoid me, I wouldn't be the guy to be stalling around just to force something.
Did she hastily leave or stall in order to not bump into me or whatever else I do not know.
Today I was a little annoyed and intentionally tried not to look at her at all. I think I saw her look at me through the corner of my eye when she arrived. When we bumped into each other we said hi but it was a little tense.
We didn't exchange another word, even as I stood close to her at one point and she came and stood close to me herself at a later point.
I tried to catch a glance later in order to evaluate the situation but she intentionally ignored it.
What the hell was that? Even if I'm wrong about everything and she was just friendly, what's the big deal? We've walked the same direction many times over, me in front of her, her in front of me, might as well just walk together.
I know I wouldn't be looking to someone and smiling if he annoyed me. I would be more creeped out by this than by someone who I'm already friendly with asking if I want to walk back together.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

"She just looked at me for a whole second and said "sure if we finish together".

This I think is the key phrase above that could explain a lot. To my mind that she said that means she is wanting a way out of that situation. It would have been easy for her to say, 'yeah sure, ok'. After all as you say what is the big deal about walking together, in your situation with how you two already are it should be none really. Would be nothing for her to hold on a few seconds but instead she seems to have bolted for the door the second she was practically able to get out of it.

So brings the question of why?

I personally would say it likely would be down to her not wanting to be seen with you for sone reason? Does she already have a partner? Are her parents very strict? etc. I would say either of them could be the real reason. The top one being a partner as if you find her attractive likelihood other guts probably do. I don't know if you've asked her and even so no guarantee if she is telling the truth.

Other possibilities could exist, maybe she thought it might end in sex and didn't want things to go that far. Maybe she still lives with parents etc and might have found it a bit awkward, who knows, could be many a thing. Asking her a few questions about her background without going too deep can be a good idea. The number of times I've been getting on well with a girl at work only to find out she's got a boyfriend already :rolleyes:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Is she yes and she's no, she's in and she's out, she's up and she's down?

Reply 3

Katerina S.

Original post by Anonymous

Is she yes and she's no, she's in and she's out, she's up and she's down?

Lol

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Could also be age as a reason, if she's still living at home (probably) and her family are used to her bring home guys & girls around her age then her turning up with a guy who's not late teens/early twenties but a decade older she might feel awkward & embarrassed by. These days girls in late teens are often still a bit not quite adult. Sure they look young & hot but their parents may still treat her somewhat child like.

She likely fancies you but the enjoyment of the gym with you seems to stop there for her, a bit of fun playing like. Whatever the situation it looks like one way or another that is what she is/was most comfortable with.

Reply 5

MentalHouse

Original post by Anonymous

Is she yes and she's no, she's in and she's out, she's up and she's down?

Rofl

Original post by Anonymous

who knows, although one day that we were chatting there was another guy around her age standing close by who seemed like he was sulking a little and she was a little dismissive of him calling him a little child, and I took that as if she prefers older guys. I think he was an orbiter of hers.
I didn't see her today but something funny happened. It most probably doesn't have anything to do with her, but another guy that is like an acquaintance of hers chatted me up. He said he has seen me a few times at a place and I told him that's next to where I live, and we talked a little. We were talking about an area being safe for leaving your bike and he ended up complementing me saying that it would be safe for me because I'm "tall and buff" lol.
So then he started asking other stuff, about my degree etc and when I told him he then uttered "and what about your Master's" and for a split second he made an oh **** face. It's the first time I've talked to this guy how the hell did he know I've got a Master's? I didn't question about it because he is a likeable dude and didn't want to make him feel bad whatever that was.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by MentalHouse

Rofl

who knows, although one day that we were chatting there was another guy around her age standing close by who seemed like he was sulking a little and she was a little dismissive of him calling him a little child, and I took that as if she prefers older guys. I think he was an orbiter of hers.
I didn't see her today but something funny happened. It most probably doesn't have anything to do with her, but another guy that is like an acquaintance of hers chatted me up. He said he has seen me a few times at a place and I told him that's next to where I live, and we talked a little. We were talking about an area being safe for leaving your bike and he ended up complementing me saying that it would be safe for me because I'm "tall and buff" lol.
So then he started asking other stuff, about my degree etc and when I told him he then uttered "and what about your Master's" and for a split second he made an oh **** face. It's the first time I've talked to this guy how the hell did he know I've got a Master's? I didn't question about it because he is a likeable dude and didn't want to make him feel bad whatever that was.

Varies maybe she told him about the MA, if she knew, or either of them saw you on campus, or he guessed/something you said pointed in that direction or possibly he thought he would chance it and you would correct him if wrong.

Anyhow, difficult to say, some women can be exacting in that someone of the same or younger may be seen like a brother to them, but a year to two, three or four higher may be their ideal. Go ten years and while a few women may like older guys that old or older some may think it's beyond their age range that they are comfortable with. I think in part it can depend on the girl herself of she's late teens then it's kind of that youngish mentality whereas a girl in say mid twenties may well be fine with guys ten years older. What I'm kind of saying is that their has always been a 'young generation' grouping around late teens to early twenties, that you either fit around that age bracket or you don't. If you don't and you're way outside then you're kind of seen as something other. That's not to say some older guys don't hook up with girls in that age bracket but its kind of an anomaly I think.

I could be wrong on all of this of course there could be many a reason and in a guessing game anyone can guess wrong. I would say though bear in mind that although the age gap isn't really big it is of course there. Many girls in their late teens di t want to get with guys ten years older than themselves. They're a a fun youngish age and often aren't that serious. It's easy to get carried away as they're young and hot, at the height of their looks, etc. But kind of don't lose sight of the fact that there is that age gap.

Another possibility is maybe she knew that the guy who may be gay, if he is, is into you so gave way for him. Probably not but you never know. Possibly may not even be gay but didn't realise how he is coming across.

Anyhow I guess see how interactions go from here on out but kind of take it steady. If you get talking to the girl again maybe ask done light questions and see if she gives any hints as to how things stand.