First time sex advice?

Hey

I have been with my girlfriend for around 3 years now, and now we're both very comfortable with our education and personal life situation, we both discussed that we feel its the right time to lose our virginity together. We're both 20 years old.

However although i experimented with pornography (As us males do at some point in our lives :colondollar:

), i could never last that long.

From media shows, its always shown that girls are a bit put off from males who orgasm too quickly. I'm extremely nervous and almost scared, for when we decide to have sex. I feel like as soon as i see her nude, i may even go as i still find her just as extremely attractive as when we first met.

So basically, im scared when we first get together for sex, i'm just gonna 'blow the gun' before anything 'romantic' happens and it won't be as 'romantic' as we both wanted it.

So could anybody give some advice on my situation?
Thank you very much :smile:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Don't worry about it mate, I lost my virginity a month ago and lasted around ten minutes. Just go with the flow and you'll be fine.

Reply 2

Alxndra

10

Relax! By the sounds of it you both love each other deeply so I'm sure it'll be great anyway as you're both sharing something special :smile:

I know it's hard to not think about it too much but by putting pressure on yourself and the act, it's less likely to flow as smoothly. Make sure it's at a time when you know neither of you will be disturbed as this will ease some of the pressure if you know you can both take your time. Sex tips aren't allowed so I can only say go slowly, relax and everything should fall into place (excuse the pun). Good luck :smile:

3 years wow

Dude first times are never great sexually (although yours will be special emotionally). I lasted about 30 seconds in mine (loads of foreplay though), I also had a little struggle getting a boner (partly nerves because I was 18 and she was quite a hot 22 year old who I didn't tell I was a virgin!). It will be way easier with a gf of 3 years and you are both virgins. That's actually really cool and is the ideal way to lose it.

Honestly, just have fun. It's a very natural thing to do and you'll pick it up quickly, even if you are fast then it doesn't matter - do it again that day or the day after etc.

Don't think about porn when it comes to actual sex! Most girls don't want you to tear their anus up or jizz all over their face (well some do..but whatever). Kudos for waiting 3 years, there is no way in hell that I could have that level of self-restraint.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 5

Solemn Rain

18

There is loads of resources out on the internet!
Try google :wink:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Alxndra

Relax! By the sounds of it you both love each other deeply so I'm sure it'll be great anyway as you're both sharing something special :smile:

I know it's hard to not think about it too much but by putting pressure on yourself and the act, it's less likely to flow as smoothly. Make sure it's at a time when you know neither of you will be disturbed as this will ease some of the pressure if you know you can both take your time. Sex tips aren't allowed so I can only say go slowly, relax and everything should fall into place (excuse the pun). Good luck :smile:

Okie dokie thanks for making me aware :smile:

Main thing im concerned is the big embarrassment of not being able to 'keep the gun loaded' ( :colondollar:

) for a very long time. Heck i doubt if i can even keep 30 seconds.
Most people around me mention stuff like being able to last for 20 minutes+, which i found buzzling from my point of view, but thats sensitive me >.<

In sum, i just feel not being able to keep it up like the 'lads' will just make me look a bit 'immature' in a way, when it comes to the situation :frown:

Reply 7

smorga30

7

Seriously you will be fine! It is expected tht you won't last long. There will be nerves that will make it seem like alot more of a problem but its not! You won't last long but that doesn't mean you never will. As you get more comfortable and experienced the anxiety will go and you will last!

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Reply 8

Amtrac

Original post by Anonymous

Okie dokie thanks for making me aware :smile:

Main thing im concerned is the big embarrassment of not being able to 'keep the gun loaded' ( :colondollar:

) for a very long time. Heck i doubt if i can even keep 30 seconds.
Most people around me mention stuff like being able to last for 20 minutes+, which i found buzzling from my point of view, but thats sensitive me >.<

In sum, i just feel not being able to keep it up like the 'lads' will just make me look a bit 'immature' in a way, when it comes to the situation :frown:

Honestly don't worry. Your gf will be really inexperienced as well.

Have fun learning together.

Just don't stress out and have fun.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

When in doubt, pull out.

Reply 10

MissRammstein23

1

The first time is always a little awkward but from the sounds of it you and your gf have a good, loving relationship.

You will be ok, just enjoy it and don't worry too much about shooting too fast xx

Reply 11

Dave454

9

Original post by Yael

The pornographic content of this story is disgusting and extremely graphic. I want you to know this is highly inappropriate for future reference.

What I like is that you have kept your relationship pure and I genuinely advice you not to do it before you get married. Hold your desire until you graduate from university, or get married immediately if you truly love each other and want to remain together.

Only then will you be able to have your first baby.

Are you still here?

Reply 12

Alxndra

10

Original post by Anonymous

Okie dokie thanks for making me aware :smile:

Main thing im concerned is the big embarrassment of not being able to 'keep the gun loaded' ( :colondollar:

) for a very long time. Heck i doubt if i can even keep 30 seconds.
Most people around me mention stuff like being able to last for 20 minutes+, which i found buzzling from my point of view, but thats sensitive me >.<

In sum, i just feel not being able to keep it up like the 'lads' will just make me look a bit 'immature' in a way, when it comes to the situation :frown:

It really won't matter if you do, it's your first time! As it's hers too I think you'll both be caught up in the moment. You have years of practice ahead of you so don't worry :smile:

and like someone else said, if it does happen, just try again later in the day :smile:

To be fair, first times can be painful for some girls so it could well be a good thing if you don't last for 20 minutes+ (p.s. I highly doubt these people lasting 20 minutes lasted more than a minute their first time, so don't worry :tongue:

)

Nobody else needs to know details, only you and her will be part of it and that's all that matters :smile:

Reply 13

Friar Chris

19

Original post by Anonymous

So could anybody give some advice on my situation?
Thank you very much :smile:

Best advice:

Forget everything you've seen in porn, and if you do think that something's expected of you, then that probably means that the opposite is true.

Go be yourself with the person you love; if sex isn't about being open with each other, then it's going to be bad anyway.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 14

bluebell100

8

Wait till you're married.

That's my advice.

Reply 15

Izzyeviel

19

Just dive in and go for it. Your first time is normally **** anyway.

Reply 16

ElChapo

18

You will last longer because its less sensitive with a condom

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Reply 17

DuncanMono

12

First relax, and then lots of foreplay. make sure you can laugh about however bad things might be.Try concentrating on something unsexy if you're worried about stamina and maybe consider a desensitising spray.