I think, in my anger, I've expressed myself clumsily. Let me just say - my grades are good, but not great. During my GCSEs, I was assaulted, etc, extenuating circumstances. I also got bullied, and went to a terrible school and ended up with okay grades. I don't at all place the most importance on grades - but just partially, like universities. And I don't think students should be judged solely on them. Sorry if I made it sound like that - because if I thought that, then heck, I should be judging the crap out of myself for getting a D in GCSE French (wasn't actually taught French).
I work, do homework etc, in my own way. I'm not one of those robots whose passion for the subject has become contrived - in fact, the passion in my personal statement has been commended by many people (which I am super proud of). I just can't do interviews - nerves, bad at public speaking, whatever. And I so, so, so wanted to go to UCL. It was basically my dream and as silly or irrational as it may sound, I see all these people around me who have actively admitted they do not care about university or even the subject they want to study, I feel like I've been robbed of a place. Like that Oxford girl I mentioned - she said to me 'I'm not sure I want to study English or even go to university, so I'm just going to be chill in my interview' and admitted she only picked English because it was the lesser of two evils. So... clearly, her passion was more contrived. She then got an offer from UCL without interview - [flawless academic record and well-crafted PS, I guess]. Feels extremely unjust to me. And I'm just using myself as an example - there are so many other people out there who've been rejected (and many more who are fantastic and obviously deserve their places). It's just sad, because I feel like I would've appreciated my place at UCL so much more than the aforementioned girl or someone who got rejected from their first choice and had to settle for UCL. And I know the only thing standing between me and that offer was my terrible interview and my lack of interview skills - and buh, that just makes me feel awful.
And I know I'll just get accused of caring too much about grades when I say this, but last year at my school, someone received an offer for English at UCL. She had ABCC at AS. Fair enough, I know, that's great - I know a lot of people go on to achieve As and A*s with grades as good as those at AS. She was not predicted AAA at A2, either (so why would they give her an offer if she was not expected to achieve the entry grades for such a competitive course?! That is beyond me.) Unsurprisingly, she didn't actually get AAA and thus got rejected on results day. Which is obviously awful for her, and she probably feels the opposite to me ('why so much emphasis on grades?') but it just reinforces how unfair the system can be.
And I'm not just talking about top-top (Golden Triangle) universities. My sister achieved CDD at A2 and got into a Russell Group university, which she effectively laughed at. She had no passion or desire to attend and fully expected rejection on results day. A friend at school has been rejected from 3/5 universities (including the Russell Group my sister got in to) and had better [Bs at AS] grades and a real, genuine desire to attend and a passion for her subject. It's just... sad.
As for work ethic, like I said, I do my work. Even if I don't see the value to it, because I respect my teachers and I trust their judgement (at my new school). But I don't sit for hours and months in advance revising for exams. Actually, I tend to cram. Bad method according to people better than be - except I do actually achieve good marks. I tend to just do what I know will work, and I appreciate anyone who does that and trusts their own judgement. However, in the cases of the people I mentioned before - they /don't do anything/. They quite literally are getting Cs and Ds this year. And no, this is not me suggesting grades are everything. This is me saying /they clearly do not give a crap/, which really, really annoys me. Because I give a crap.
tl;dr I wish I was better at social-based activities and had the charisma to be good at interviews.