Don't feel smart anymore

I used to feel so smart when I was little and my teachers really believed in me, maths was my strongest subject and I used to get the best grade in the class for it, but this all changed after my year 10 teacher came into the picture. He was a really mean teacher and would tell me that I'm stupid and that I won't amount to anything, just because I didn't do well on one paper. But that day I was really depressed about something that was going on at home, so I only answered like half the paper and they were all guesses, because I was too upset to concentrate on what the question was asking. Instead of just labeling me as 'stupid' he should've checked my records or something and seen my past grades to work out if there was another reason why I didn't do so well on that paper.

The reason why this upset me so much was because maths was my most favorite subject and I always thought I was good at it and I was even the first person in my school to ever get a level 7 in year 7. But then I started believing this title because he kept repeating it and this made me feel even more upset and I didn't want to study anymore because I thought that there was no point since I'm stupid. So then I ended up getting 8As & 3Bs for my GCSEs, which is good I guess but it wasn't what I thought I was capable of and my parents were extremely disappointed in me because they always thought I was really intelligent based on what my previous teachers would say.

So then A levels came along and after the shock I received from my GCSEs I decided to work extremely hard and I was doing quite well at the beginning but then I had to retake english language as I previously got a C and then I managed to pull it up to an A, so my AS grades slipped a bit in mocks. Then my chemistry teacher started labeling me as stupid and then the whole cycle started again and on top of that I got chicken pox a few weeks before my exams and ended up with ABBC in my AS year.

In my A2 year I lost all my motivation and although I was putting in the hours, the amount of actual revision I was doing in those hours wasn't much and I couldn't seem to concentrate because I felt so stupid. And I felt like no matter how much I try because of my bad luck and stupidity I was probably always going to end up disappointing my parents. So my grades slipped slightly and I got ABC in the end in biology, chemistry and psychology respectively.

I feel like I've failed myself and I've lost my chance to prove my intelligence. But despite all this kings still offered me a place for pharmacy and I really hope I can finally prove my intelligence by hopefully getting a first. Is it too late? Can someone please give me some advice? This is all eating away at my brain and I feel extremely upset and depressed.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

MrEFeynman

I'm guessing you are only 18, so still a little fish in a big pond. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, even if you decided to take a 5 year gap you would still only be in your early twenties. Pick yourself up, wipe away your tears and stop letting what other people think affect you. Even better show them how stupid they are by proving them wrong.

Reply 2

pheonix254

Nah - it's never too late. Aisde from the fact that your grades aren't top, they're not bad either. To be honest once you're at university school and a-levels soon melt into the past (and nobody will really look at them again anyway) and you have a chance to refresh and reinvent yourself - especially if you're moving to somewhere new with lots of people you don't know.

Aim high, put the work in, but get involved with university life and enjoy yourself - if you've got in, then that's great - prove the doubters wrong, work hard, start to believe in yourself again and you'll go far, and reflect on what bought you to this point so you can understand how it happened previously and how you could avoid it happening again.

All the best,

Stu Haynes, MEng

Reply 3

username1264573

Intelligence isn't measured by who gets the most A's in life. All you can ever do is try your best! Intelligence isn't everything in life, there are just as important things eg personality and characteristics, but if you're really worried about it, then university is a good chance to start afresh and knuckle down to show your new peers that you're not 'stupid' as your teachers had started to label - Then one day you can go back and prove your teachers wrong! :biggrin:

Reply 4

Sam_Coburn

Brilliant grades... Ive just got my AS grades back and got BCCE, i don't think I'm an idiot... If i got UUUU then i might think A-levels ain't for me. Doesn't matter what others think, carry on how you are... You are doing fine...

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Reply 5

katyness

OP, keep your head up. I know exactly how are you feeling. I had always been the best in school up to college. There something about college that I just couldn't hack and then I failed my A-levels and decided to do a BTEC.

I then got into uni to do Foundation to Medicine even though I wasn't sure I would be able to do it. But slowly I worked through my issues with my tutor and there were other classmates with the same problem and I got over it. I didn't get into Medicine because I wasn't invited for an interview but I got the grade so I guess that increased my self esteem a little bit because at least I know I can do it now.

I'm sure you'll be fine :smile:

Reply 6

Octohedral

It's not at all too late.

Firstly, you have to believe in yourself. That's the first step to getting anywhere. I know it sounds cliche'd, but it's so true. You say you feel unintelligent, but from reading your post I get the impression that you know exactly how intelligent you are, and you just need a way to prove it.

Secondly, here's some random advice about controlling your own attitude to life that I've always found useful;

Spoiler

Thirdly, you need a plan. It doesn't matter if you deviate from it - a plan will give you focus, and something to aim for. In your case it may be getting a first from Kings (a fantastic, well respected university), or it might be to become a dinghy sailing instructor. I don't know you, so I won't give you practical advice (though I can try if you like) - just think it through carefully.

If you want to show your intelligence, as well as a first, another option is to think outside the box - write papers, enter competitions, discover something... it's up to you.

Good luck, and please remember your life has barely started yet. :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 7

username895805