Is it possible to fall for someone based on personality alone?

I mean, has anyone ever felt no physical attraction at all for someone initially, only to become friends and after spending more and more time with each other, realise you're actually attracted to them? Does it ever work like that?

Or is it always necessary to have that immediate "well, hellooo :biggrin:

" moment as soon as you see them? :tongue:

It is possible! At the start of college, I thought this guy was dorky as hell, only to fall in love with him once I became friends with him later on, because he had a really nice personality.

Reply 21

Robbie242

Possibly

I kinda become really into girls even if they don't have pics

maybe I'm easily impressed

Reply 22

anonymouspie227

20

Original post by spiral87

I think the answers in this thread are rather sweet :redface:

Many of my friends relationships are based on looks, they're highly superficial people. I'll continue keeping up the standard if I know it's only a matter of time before somebody likes me for who I am and isn't shallow enough to reject me purely on looks.

Awwww

Reply 23

Dragonfly07

18

Yep. 3 year relationship lasted on that.

Reply 24

Nerol

21

This is how it always happens for me. Very rarely am I attracted to guys unless I know and like their personality.

The downside, of course, is that I am constantly in the bloody friend zone! I think for girls it is much easier to become attracted to someone because of their personality, whereas maybe guys have a much more definite line of what they want in a friend compared to what they want in a girlfriend. For me, I want a boyfriend who has friend-like qualities with a few extra added bonuses! Why is that so hard to find, dammit?!

Wow. Went off on a little 'single and bitter' rampage there. Apologies.

Reply 25

pzoDe

7

Original post by spiral87

There are some people you'll never fancy because of their looks though right?

For almost every case, yes. Hence why the answer is almost indefinitely no to the original question.

Even if it's not the first attraction, physical appearance will play a part in it, whether you realise it or not.

Also I mostly disagree with the general sentiment by some posters that couples who are first attracted to one another initially by looks are superficial. Not saying it doesn't happen, but just because someone is good looking doesn't mean I will go and enter a relationship with them if they have a bad/dull personality; even though my first instinct is appearance, it isn't the only factor.

Reply 26

pzoDe

7

It's interesting to note the difference in number and opinion of male and female posters.

Reply 27

Ladyliesel

14

I think so. For me the physical attraction tends to come later. Once I know them they become attractive overall.

Original post by Nerol

This is how it always happens for me. Very rarely am I attracted to guys unless I know and like their personality.

The downside, of course, is that I am constantly in the bloody friend zone! I think for girls it is much easier to become attracted to someone because of their personality, whereas maybe guys have a much more definite line of what they want in a friend compared to what they want in a girlfriend. For me, I want a boyfriend who has friend-like qualities with a few extra added bonuses! Why is that so hard to find, dammit?!

Wow. Went off on a little 'single and bitter' rampage there. Apologies.

Yeah, this happens to me. By the time I've gotten to know the guy he considers me friend material.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 28

miser

20

I've never experienced that kind of attraction - I've always known whether I was physically attracted to them or not from the first time seeing them. Occasionally I stop finding someone attractive, but I don't think I've ever started finding someone attractive whom I didn't find attractive at the beginning.

I think that attraction generally works differently between men and women though.

Reply 29

username917703

17

Looks and personality both matter, I'm not gonna get with someone if I think they're ugly. I didn't fancy one of my girlfriends for the first year I knew her, then we spoke more and I realised how adorable she was. But it wouldn't have mattered how lovely her personality was if she was fat and had rotting teeth, bad skin etc.

Once you're at a certain level of attractiveness then personality comes into play. So based on personality alone I would say no.

Reply 30

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Original post by snowyowl

Yep, I didn't fancy my boyfriend at first because he came across as very arrogant and up himself, which is the most unattractive trait a man had. But then I got to know him and found out what he's really like and now I honestly find him the most attractive man on Earth :h:

We're still together 4 years later!

Exactly the same here :smile:

. I think those relationships that are based on personality first and foremost will tend to last longer. You can build a great partnership on personality, whereas looks change and fade - and can't really sustain anything.

Reply 31

Kezza Wilson

12

I certainly think it's possibly. But as someone else mentioned, it might be as guys and girls are wired a bit differently. Maybe an initial spark is necessary for guys!

Reply 32

SoftPunch

3

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

Exactly the same here :smile:

. I think those relationships that are based on personality first and foremost will tend to last longer. You can build a great partnership on personality, whereas looks change and fade - and can't really sustain anything.

Maybe looks to some people include height etc - things that can't be changed! :tongue:

Reply 33

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Original post by SoftPunch

Maybe looks to some people include height etc - things that can't be changed! :tongue:

Depending on when you meet, of course!

But yeah, height aside, other looks will fade... :frown:

. And, actually, they may shrink :biggrin:

. But that's assuming the relationship lasts until retirement, lol.

Reply 34

SoftPunch

3

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

Depending on when you meet, of course!

But yeah, height aside, other looks will fade... :frown:

. And, actually, they may shrink :biggrin:

. But that's assuming the relationship lasts until retirement, lol.

Yeah, I don't care if someone is ugly/fat - if their personality is nice, I'd have no problem falling for them; but unfortunately the emphasis on height has been wired into me :frown:

Reply 35

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

Original post by SoftPunch

Yeah, I don't care if someone is ugly/fat - if their personality is nice, I'd have no problem falling for them; but unfortunately the emphasis on height has been wired into me :frown:

My partner is 6'3" which I always thought was tall.. His brother is 6'10"!!

Reply 36

SoftPunch

3

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

My partner is 6'3" which I always thought was tall.. His brother is 6'10"!!

Haha, aren't you tall yourself?

Reply 37

Little Boots

2

I ****ing hope so.

Nah, it does happen. I think maybe less for guys? But certainly I've noticed I only really fall for people based on personality. I find beautiful people beautiful, but I don't get crushes or anything of that nature because there are so many beautiful people. It's all on personality for me.

Reply 38

bluemax

16

Fell for my female best friend after like 2.5 years. She was pretty but I was more in love with what she did for me over the years. Turned out she dint feel the same way for me :frown:

we also have a religious difference, she said she may have tried out how things worked with us but because of the difference we can never be together. Never been so pissed at my religion before. It's a tough life.

Reply 39

Anonymous #2

Original post by spiral87

I mean, has anyone ever felt no physical attraction at all for someone initially, only to become friends and after spending more and more time with each other, realise you're actually attracted to them? Does it ever work like that?

Or is it always necessary to have that immediate "well, hellooo :biggrin:

" moment as soon as you see them? :tongue:

Yeah this is how it happened for me. The first time we met it was just like meeting any random person, I didn't think anything of it. The next few times we spoke I didn't feel particularly attracted to him, but I started to like him and then gradually I started to like him more and more. It took around a month before I realised I was attracted to him, but thought I would have no chance and tried to ignore my feelings. Around a month after that he told me he liked me and I was in complete shock that he felt the same. That was about 4 months ago and we have been going out since then. I find him attractive but I still wouldn't say I was extremely physically attracted to him. I do think he is good looking, but he is definitely not the sort of person I thought I would be attracted to and I would have been surprised if someone had told me how I would end up feeling about him when I first met him. What made me like him was his personality and that's still what I like most about him. :smile:

Is it possible to fall for someone based on personality alone?

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