Let's keep talking - Time To Talk Day - let's talk about mental health

Hi guys, not sure if I have a question or just want to have a rant, but my mental health has been an increasing concern of mine over the last few weeks.

I had glandular fever when I was 14 and ever since then depression has been a perennial problem for me - with increasingly deep and sustained "outbreaks". While I was younger it wasn't so bad as I could ditch uni, or stay in bed and hate everything until I felt better. But now I've entered the world of full-time work I feel increasingly trapped with no way to escape from my episodes.

Lately, the idea of going to work makes me want to sleep and never wake up. I took a week off work last week, just confessing the basics to my boss (who was lovely about it). But I can't help but feel that everyone still thinks that "depression" is a made-up reason to be off sick, and I feel guilty for taking time off. My week off is over and I was back at work today and I'm feeling basically no better.

Has anyone had experience of being this ill in full-time employment? How did you work around it (if at all), and does anyone have any advice?

Have you considered going part-time? I started an internship in 2010 full-time pretty much (4.5 days of work, 0.5 day of uni) and ended up in a major psychotic episode. When I was eventually fit enough to return to work they cut my days and hours, and it was SO much better.

That was an unpaid internship, so obviously they could afford to be more flexible. I just wonder whether you should cut your hours? Or at the very least, ask for some reasonable adjustments? Like, does your office have a place where you could go and take time out for 30-60 minutes (not your lunch break) if the depression was becoming too much whilst at work?

Do you have any knowledge to what extent employers have to accommodate you? And presumably I will need a note from the doctors. I worry a lot that any protracted time off, or upheaval required to accommodate me will hinder my chances of progression in the future (no matter how vehemently they might deny it).

Another concern is broaching the issue in the first place. I find it very difficult to talk about the subject without getting embarrassingly upset, which puts me off telling them about it at all, frankly. I don't think they have anywhere private I can go (I've been making do with sobbing silently in the ladies when it all gets too much! Not ideal, haha...).

I'm not too clear on the laws tbh but any disability (which includes depression) must be accommodated to a reasonable level, i.e. one that doesn't impinge too much upon the company's ability to run as a business.

I have never been asked by a workplace to show evidence of a disability, which I find a bit weird (given I don't look or act particularly ill), so I don't think every workplace necessarily will ask for evidence

It sounds like you have a nice boss. If you are worried about breaking down in front of her, maybe get your doctor to write a letter directly to your boss, outlining your depression briefly and what kind of reasonable adjustments might help you to get on better

Both of my bosses (my immediate boss, and his boss) are men, which does make it more difficult for me to open up - we all know how well men deal with crying women, haha. The letter from the doctor is not a bad idea at all actually, I wasn't really aware what level of support GP's can offer. Last time I went to the doctors, she just threw some Sertraline at me (which was awful and I didn't even keep taking) because there was no underlying issue is my life to actually deal with, and sent me on my way.

My boss really is lovely, it's just the invisible nature of the illness to which you alluded earlier makes me feel really guilty for using it, like people will think I'm making it up?

I will definitely think about making another appointment with my GP though, and see if I can get some sort of written notice from them for my work...

Thanks

You'll have to pay for the doctor's note obviously but most GPs are happy to write something to help support your claims. Do see what your GP can do to help

Don't feel guilty at all - you know what you go through and how much you suffer. Depression is just as real as cancer - people need to start learning that!

Thank you for your help, I know for my own sake I should try to be more pro-active about it, 'cause I know just trying to push on regardless makes it ten times worse in the end.

ideal? no, but we can definitely make big improvements, I mean the NHS is actually pretty poorly funded compared to health services elsewhere, heck even the US spends more on healthcare as a percentage than we do, and they charge people for it...I don't think it's unrealistic to talk about giving the NHS and other services much better funding and resources to deal with mental health, our understanding of and diagnosis of mental health issues has increased hugely in recent years but the funding it gets has lagged well behind imo, whereas we spend billions on things we don't need at all like trident or cutting taxes for big corporates, I would much rather that money went on helping people who actually need help myself

Hi guys, not sure if I have a question or just want to have a rant, but my mental health has been an increasing concern of mine over the last few weeks.

I had glandular fever when I was 14 and ever since then depression has been a perennial problem for me - with increasingly deep and sustained "outbreaks". While I was younger it wasn't so bad as I could ditch uni, or stay in bed and hate everything until I felt better. But now I've entered the world of full-time work I feel increasingly trapped with no way to escape from my episodes.

Lately, the idea of going to work makes me want to sleep and never wake up. I took a week off work last week, just confessing the basics to my boss (who was lovely about it). But I can't help but feel that everyone still thinks that "depression" is a made-up reason to be off sick, and I feel guilty for taking time off. My week off is over and I was back at work today and I'm feeling basically no better.

Has anyone had experience of being this ill in full-time employment? How did you work around it (if at all), and does anyone have any advice?

This is an amazing idea!

Feeling creative? Why not make a postcard to help others?

http://www.postcardsfromtheedges.org.uk/postcard/3502

I was thinking once we have each made them, we could post them in new thread in the Mental Health forum - not only will they be posted on the postcardsfromtheedges website but also accessible to our community.


http://www.postcardsfromtheedges.org.uk/postcardsofhope

"Postcards of Hope is a partnership between United Response and Black Rainbow, a new memoir describing author Rachel Kelly’s depression, and how poetry helped her. Now we want you to share something which has given you hope.
Whether it’s poetry, a work of art, a powerful message or something you’ve created, please share it on a postcard. For ideas or information on Postcards of Hope"

Sounds great! Keep prodding me about this, please!

Sure thing!

I've been chatting to the creator on Twitter today. Once I create my postcard(s) I'll start up a thread in the MH forum and post it.

I feel exactly the same, minues the glandular fever bit. I often hate waking up in the morning. Some weeks being here is torturous but not because of the work it's because i've been in the wrong frame of mind and unable to give it my full care and attention. I've no energy whatsoever, i've lost all care for the work I do and i've thought several times of telling my boss. I have no idea what the reason is as it should be a job I love doing but it causes so much anxiety in me i often contemplate taking time off "ill" to recover.

There's certainly an element of "it sounds like an excuse to be lazy" but it's not. Depression and anxiety are real.

Hey James, sorry you are going through it too but it's a mean sort of comfort that I'm not alone. Do you think your boss would be receptive to a frank talk about it? You're probably like me and quite reluctant to even start the conversation - do you find it kind of embarrassing or awkward as well?

This is an amazing idea!

Feeling creative? Why not make a postcard to help others?

http://www.postcardsfromtheedges.org.uk/postcard/3502

I was thinking once we have each made them, we could post them in new thread in the Mental Health forum - not only will they be posted on the postcardsfromtheedges website but also accessible to our community.


http://www.postcardsfromtheedges.org.uk/postcardsofhope

"Postcards of Hope is a partnership between United Response and Black Rainbow, a new memoir describing author Rachel Kelly’s depression, and how poetry helped her. Now we want you to share something which has given you hope.
Whether it’s poetry, a work of art, a powerful message or something you’ve created, please share it on a postcard. For ideas or information on Postcards of Hope"

I'm afraid that whilst the NHS could be improved upon, more spending doesn't necessarily mean better healthcare. The USA is actually quite a good example of this - they spend more per capita than we do, but for all the key physical health performance indicators like life expectancy and infant mortality, they perform worse. I've never seen stats for mental health, though I can't imagine that it's a significantly different story and such figures would be rather more subjective (you're either dead or you're not; mental health is rarely that clear cut)

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Everytime i upload a picture it put in another picture that isnt even mine


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Grrrrrr! That's annoying! Have you reported it as a bug? I haven't had time to create mine yet