But that's the point... you are not being selfish!! I'm so sorry you are thinking like that. But you are bound to feel that way if you have the toxic guilt thing going on. But you know, looking at it from a rational perspective you are not
actually being selfish! Honestly, an unbiased onlooker can see that.
To your other question I don't know their relationship, I don't think there is any chance any one could answer that, even the guy himself maybe can't know if he will ever get over her. But what I do know is their relationship does sound slightly unhealthy and difficult. It doesn't sound like young love's dream to be honest. Don't be jealous of them thinking 'they have it all, they are meant to be'... because it sounds like they have both been in some really hard places with eachother. And love can be like that. But it doesn't have to be. I feel like you're a nice person and you should be more confident
. Find things you love and don't worry so much about finding the person that's right for you. Literally, life is short, don't waste it being unhappy when you have no real reason to be. Free yourself up from the oppressions that are on you and be strong. Make your own life for yourself, the way you want it. That can involve helping others but a lot of your life has to be about you... Honestly, a lot of people think being completely 'selfless' is the key but you have to look after yourself before you can look after anyone else. Learn to value yourself and not compare yourself to others so much. Just remember this ok - 'be yourself, wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are'. It's so true. If you want you can PM me to let me know how getting out of the arranged marriage goes - I might have to provide some much needed support
. But even when people judge you and criticise you, when you know you are doing the right thing for you, that should guide you through and you should be at peace with yourself. Think of the person who you are meant to make happy later on in your life. If you get into this wrong relationship now, you will never be able to make the right person for you happy. And just rememeber, fighting for what's right in life is hard at the time, but it always passes. Keep in mind 'this too will pass'... all the small battles really become water under the bridge after a while. I really respect anyone who has the strength to live in a way that is in line with their truth even when other people are putting them down. It shows character. Anyway all the best and I wish you lots of courage