islamic potential advice

salam,

so i f f23, is friends with a guy m23 and i think i’m falling for him really really fast. trying to keep this short but he’s everything i’m looking for and i think trying to protect myself i’ve made jokes about us not being together so i don’t get hurt. i don’t want to approach him with marriage because i don’t want to loose our friendship but i think about him all the time and what our lives could be like. we spend a lot of time during the day texting, calling it we’re not seeing each other and last night we spoke about how we’d raise each persons kids and the name we’d give them. i’m a revert so i don’t have a wali really (i know about the imam ) but he suggested i put my info/number down. i just can’t imagine being with anyone else but it’s not right thinking about him all the time

he’s very religious but also a really kind individual and we do joke around a lot too. i’d rather he’d ask if i’m interested we both want to get married but i don’t know how to go about this. i’ve prayed but my feelings are stronger and it’s at a point where i know everything hes doing and vice versa.

i can’t imagine wanting to marry someone else and we’ve both been open about what’s happened in our lives, what we look for in our partners. he also is very keen to teach me more about islam (he’s born muslim) and arabic too alhamdulillah.

what do i do ? i have no muslim family, i do have friends but sometimes advice from someone i don’t know can help me see things more rationale? please be nice i am really trying to be a good muslim i’ve only been one for a few months

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

basically asking because ofc you don’t date in islam but i’m too awkward to approach him about marriage :/. i do think i have feelings for him which i don’t know if that’s wrong or not i just need to know in this situation. i wish i could ask my parents for advice

Reply 2

anon29384756

Hi sister, your problem is not unique so please don't feel alone in this, there have been many instances like this and most of them work out in the end inshAllah. I'd recommend you to first pray the istikhara prayer as a means of letting God give you the guidance you're looking for, there are several ways of praying so I'd ask you to search on how to pray it (https://islamqa.info/en/answers/11981/istikharah-prayer).
Definitely pray the istikhara prayer first and I hope you get the sign that's best for you. Ask God for further guidance and make dua's preventing you from making the wrong choice. After all this, you could approach him for marriage on your own too, as we know Khadija (RA) approached the Prophet on her own for marriage (read this article too: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/20916/is-it-permissible-for-a-muslim-woman-to-ask-a-muslim-man-to-marry-her). But make this part your last step, ask help from God on every step, make use of google and islamic sources, and always keep in mind that maybe Allah has planned something better for you. InshAllah it works out for you.

Reply 3

anon29384756

Hi sister, your situation is not unique so please don't feel alone in this. I'd recommend you to first pray the istikhara prayer, as a means of letting God give you the guidance that is deemed best (https://islamqa.info/en/answers/11981/istikharah-prayer). There are several ways of praying it, but a little search on google would give you an idea on how to pray it. Keep asking God for guidance and to make sure that the choice you make is the correct one for you. After this, you could approach him for marriage, as we know that Khadija (RA) approached the Prophet for marriage on her own (https://islamqa.info/en/answers/20916/is-it-permissible-for-a-muslim-woman-to-ask-a-muslim-man-to-marry-her). But make sure, this is your last step, and before this you have asked God to guide you to the correct decision. And always keep in mind that maybe God has planned something better for you. InshAllah the choice you make will be the best one for you.