Love in Islam: Qs for Muslim brothers and sisters!

Asalamualaikum brothers and sisters, never thought I’d be coming here for help but recently I’ve been confused about a situation, and I was hoping someone could give me advice;I’ve already tried to speak to a range of friends for advice but none of them have really gone through something similar so they don’t really understand? So I was hoping someone on here may have personal advice to give me, and I had to result to this platform because I don’t use any sort of social media haha.

So I’m a practicing hijabi Muslim girl who is quite religious and at the start of this academic year, a Muslim guy at my new college clearly had feelings for me, as I learned through random classmates constantly telling me and as I observed how he acted around me. I’m a very reserved girl so I never reciprocated his feelings or gave him attention; but over time he seemed like a very down to earth person and came across as very attractive to me too, as I saw sm of him around.
We haven’t ever properly talked because I refuse to kind of engage myself In a proper convo as I feel like it’s against my morals but that doesn’t change the fact that my feelings for him have helplessly grown as I heard a lot about him from people and bcs of the ways he would portray his interest in me. He really does like me and has expressed that through stuff he does on numerous occasions. I was more overly shocked he liked me sm because I was a hijabi and relatively quiet as compared to some of the other girls who clearly had an interest in him.

Also my parents are loving and supportive but their strict about these relationship stuff. I did tell my mum about some Muslim guy liking me, but I didn’t confess about how I liked him too. I told her because I like her to be aware of stuff that go on in my life, She just told me to focus on my studies and to forget about it and not pay much attention to the situation, but it’s become the centre of my thoughts and I can’t stop thinking of him then and now; and this hasn’t ever happened to me bfr. He’s even been coming in a lot of my dreams?

I feel really confused about what I should do? I have talked to Allah swt about it and inshallah he will guide my heart. I really don’t want to fall into any sort of haram relationship, it would be very against my morals and beliefs. I just wanted to ask wether any muslim has been in a situation like mine? And how they overcame it? Or wether they acc ended up with their love interest in the halal way of marriage after lots of dua and prayers? I also had a qs for Muslim brothers who may have felt this way about a muslim girl bfr and what their intentions were?

Asalamualaikum brothers and sisters, never thought I’d be coming here for help but recently I’ve been confused about a situation, and I was hoping someone could give me advice;I’ve already tried to speak to a range of friends for advice but none of them have really gone through something similar so they don’t really understand? So I was hoping someone on here may have personal advice to give me, and I had to result to this platform because I don’t use any sort of social media haha.

So I’m a practicing hijabi Muslim girl who is quite religious and at the start of this academic year, a Muslim guy at my new college clearly had feelings for me, as I learned through random classmates constantly telling me and as I observed how he acted around me. I’m a very reserved girl so I never reciprocated his feelings or gave him attention; but over time he seemed like a very down to earth person and came across as very attractive to me too, as I saw sm of him around.
We haven’t ever properly talked because I refuse to kind of engage myself In a proper convo as I feel like it’s against my morals but that doesn’t change the fact that my feelings for him have helplessly grown as I heard a lot about him from people and bcs of the ways he would portray his interest in me. He really does like me and has expressed that through stuff he does on numerous occasions. I was more overly shocked he liked me sm because I was a hijabi and relatively quiet as compared to some of the other girls who clearly had an interest in him.

Also my parents are loving and supportive but their strict about these relationship stuff. I did tell my mum about some Muslim guy liking me, but I didn’t confess about how I liked him too. I told her because I like her to be aware of stuff that go on in my life, She just told me to focus on my studies and to forget about it and not pay much attention to the situation, but it’s become the centre of my thoughts and I can’t stop thinking of him then and now; and this hasn’t ever happened to me bfr. He’s even been coming in a lot of my dreams?

I feel really confused about what I should do? I have talked to Allah swt about it and inshallah he will guide my heart. I really don’t want to fall into any sort of haram relationship, it would be very against my morals and beliefs. I just wanted to ask wether any muslim has been in a situation like mine? And how they overcame it? Or wether they acc ended up with their love interest in the halal way of marriage after lots of dua and prayers? I also had a qs for Muslim brothers who may have felt this way about a muslim girl bfr and what their intentions were?

Wa 'alaykum as-salaam,
Please do not open the doors to evil as Allaah said (meaning): "And do not come close to unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way." [al-Israa' 17:32]. If you have a serious intention of marrying him then give him the contact information of your guardian and take it from there. If you do not want to do this then do not entertain any feelings of him, and do not look at him as to avoid temptation. If he does not want to go through your wali (guardian) and instead 'wants to get to know you first' then you should be concerned. Men will often do this to lead you on and manipulate you in order to use you. If he has serious intentions then he will immediately get in touch with your guardian so that a valid meeting can take place. I hope that you do not take this matter lightly as we see many of the Muslims falling into haraam due to this

I get it my family are quite strict too I think you should make it halal before it becomes haram idk like just get your nikaah or something or just get engaged so you can talk about it but don't get married through courts until you are ready like after uni

Thank you for taking time to answer, it is greatly appreciated, and thank you for also reminding me of the important Quranic verses. I have no intention of getting too close to the guy honestly but seeing him on a regular basis because of college is hard for me, he’s always just there and I try my best to stay away but even when I do, there’s always smtg in my heart, because of the constant dreams of him, which I find very odd and when I see him it just makes me nervous?
We’re both still very young and I don’t think I would get married this young, and my parents wouldn’t appreciate that either. I understand marriage is the best solution but I don't think at our age anyone rlly has that in mind; if you get what I mean- many of my Muslim friends are dating in college in hopes for a halal marriage later and I so don’t agree with it but it’s become such a norm now, which is shocking.

I advise you to leave him off if you have no intention of getting married anytime soon. By thinking 'we can get to know each other to get married in the future', this is a huge error and will just lead to more and more temptation to fall into haraam. I understand the temptation you are facing and this is due to the prevalence of free mixing in schools and the likes. These sort of feelings will come and go as long as you are in this environment so distance yourself from free-mixing as early as possible. Also, don't think that just because you have a dream about him, this is a confirmation that you are made for each other as some people believe. Allāh’s Messenger (ﷺ) mentioned that "dreams are of three types: one good dream which is a sort of good tidings from Allah; the evil dream which causes pain is from the satan; and the third one is a suggestion from one's own self" [Saheeh Muslim 5621]; it's natural to dream about someone you have a crush on.

Furthermore, you mentioned that your friends are in relationships. Please be a good friend and forbid them from this evil as Allāh’s Messenger (ﷺ) said (meaning),
"When the people see a wrongdoer and they do not prevent him then Allāh will soon punish them all.'” [Abu Dāwūd 4338 Sahīh by Al-Albāni)
Allaah said (meaning):
"You [the true followers of the Prophet] are the best of people ever raised up for mankind. You enjoin what is good and forbid all that is evil, and you believe in Allah.” [Aali 'Imraan 3:110]
Don't you fear the day that you and your friends will be against each other as Allaah said (meaning): "Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)" [az-Zukhruf 43:67].

You should continuously advise them to leave off this evil as it will lead them to a great loss. How can they expect Allaah to bless their marriage if they start it off by displeasing Him? If they persist in this then I advise that you should avoid them as to safeguard yourself from following them, may Allaah bless you. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said (meaning):
“The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of one who carries musk and one who works the bellows. With the carrier of musk, either he will give you some or you will buy some from him, or you will notice a good smell from him; as for the one who works the bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell from him.” [al-Bukhaari 1995, Muslim 2628]. This shows that bad friends will affect you. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "Keeping company with good people is one of the best of deeds that brings one closer to Allah, and is one of the best means of attaining blessing. On the other hand, keeping company with bad people such as disbelievers and those who commit sin openly is not permissible, and is one of the things that lead to a bad end and cause one to adopt their attitudes and deeds."

This type of thing has become common but don't let that stop you from being the light that directs people away from it. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said (meaning),
“A time of patience will come to people in which adhering to one’s religion is like grasping a hot coal.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2260]

Thank you so much for taking your time to help. I don’t indulge myself in conversations with him even though I’m clear of his feelings, I haven’t acc ever spoken to him myself, but do you think I should have a serious conversation with him to discuss marriage and stuff for the future, and ask if he’s serious? Or shall I not take the first step?
He’s always crowded with his friends and if I was to talk to him I would get teased by my friends and his, so I don’t know any serious way to do this.
I’m also a very reserved type of girl so I don’t like unnecessarily free mixing with guys, but would this be a suitable reason to talk to him?

Is he a part of your culture and do you believe you will get along? If so discuss it with your family/elders and invite his family round if they deem him serious. I know so many who fall down the wrong path due to this. It is simply a test from Allah. Ask around about his akhlaq etc. but you will never regret taking the first step because although the first glance is halal after that it isn't.

She is only 16/17 I am guessing. Way too young.

Is he a part of your culture and do you believe you will get along? If so discuss it with your family/elders and invite his family round if they deem him serious. I know so many who fall down the wrong path due to this. It is simply a test from Allah. Ask around about his akhlaq etc. but you will never regret taking the first step because although the first glance is halal after that it isn't.

We are from the same culture and place luckily. I honestly haven’t really actually spoken to him properly, but I’ve heard some good stuff about him from my friends who know him better.
I have already told my mum about his interest in me but she told me to focus on my studies, as I am still so young, I’m only 17 about to turn 18 soon. I understand marriage is the only way forward and that is where I want to take it to that but at this young age that’s not even an option.
Are you suggesting that I speak to him about his intentions or not?

Yes but obviously with other people perhaps your parents around defo not alone. There is such thing as a temporary marriage where you don't have sex but you can talk to each other in seclusion etc.

When you say temporary do you mean like getting the nikkah done? And than acc getting wedded off later?

yes!

It sounds good, but still not sure my parents will agree, and I’ll prolly have to talk to him about approaching my dad too, hehe (you know how that can go?)
Thank you tho! May Allah do best in this situation!

Is he a strict Muslim like you too ? If he isn't, he might not be open to that idea ?

Thank you for taking time to answer, it is greatly appreciated, and thank you for also reminding me of the important Quranic verses. I have no intention of getting too close to the guy honestly but seeing him on a regular basis because of college is hard for me, he’s always just there and I try my best to stay away but even when I do, there’s always smtg in my heart, because of the constant dreams of him, which I find very odd and when I see him it just makes me nervous?
We’re both still very young and I don’t think I would get married this young, and my parents wouldn’t appreciate that either. I understand marriage is the best solution but I don't think at our age anyone rlly has that in mind; if you get what I mean- many of my Muslim friends are dating in college in hopes for a halal marriage later and I so don’t agree with it but it’s become such a norm now, which is shocking.

apologies for the double posts but i was reading trhough the replies, and wallahi you have such a great head on those shoulders. its very hard growing up in a society where your desires are so easily answered and everyone around you is doing it. but please, always look at it from the ground up, and its wrong.

and i really really understand how you feel; the constant stares, the wanting to tell him your day, the sweaty hands when hes close etc. its a natural feeling, youre in love haha! you just have to be strong and cut it now. otherwise if you let it carry on and flirt around or at worse get into a relationship, the bond in your hearts will get stronger and it will get harder and harder to separate.

and what your freinds do is absolute nosnense, two negatives dont make a right. society is a mess, I am really worried for this generation