Friend booked party same day as my birthday - Dilemma

PLEASE MAKE POST ANONYMOUS OR DELETE, THANKS.

I started to plan for my birthday a few months ago and now its a few weeks till the day, and I handed out invitations and facebooked it and invited my class from uni, as well as non-uni friends but a person in my uni group ended up making a house party for that day a few days ago and now its getting a bit iffy,

I did invite this person last month, so she should know its my birthday, but I mentioned to her casually its my birthday on the day and she apologised as she 'forgot' and offered to change the day but I said no keep it as she basically planned what I wanted to do in the evening anyway and she even mentioned that it was the same, but she declined to attend my things because of 'lack of money' and hinted the group may be in the same position, although people will need to bring own refreshments for her party and pay for club entry later.

The dilemma now is that I changed my plans for the day for something "basic" like a small get together like watching a movie or head off somewhere close for the day and a snack then get home a few hours before her party, but I asked her if its OK that I bring some of my non-uni friends along, which would have been 2-3 max but she was like no as she don't know them, yet, she has allowed other people to bring friends and said she does not mind publically and to bring people,

what's annoyed me even more is that nobody has said yes to coming out with me, yet have instantly said yes to her party plans even though it was basically the same thing, which is making me feel very very left out, especially as I wanted uni people to come, as many non-uni friends are working late and cannot genuinely make it.

I don't know how to approach it, do I casually say to people in person can they make my thing, or just leave it? How do I handle potential rejection? I am really embarrassed as well as I made effort to do something for the day, and if it flops and nobody comes, I wouldn't know where to put my face, and really, could I really be happy going to her party when everybody has shunned my own birthday? Because I get the feeling she doesn't even want to acknowledge its my birthday, as its not even mentioned on her event, and I think she did not like a message I sent joking about a cake, as she never replied, and don't think she would appreciate people celebrating my birthday at her party.

I hope people understand my thoughts, Does anybody have any insight into a similar situation? I am a boy BTW, if that makes any difference.

Thanks in advance!