Arranged marriages or nah?

Firstly let me define what arranged marriages is.
It's the planning of a marriage between two people which is done by the family. The marriage is consensual between the said people.

1) it isn't forced
2) it isn't religious but instead cultural.

I'm Actually for it. I think finding someone is quite hard so if you get help especially from your family who wants what is acctually best for you so they wouldn't intentionally set you up with a bad spouse. And also I really don't enjoy the aspect of planning a whole wedding. I'm the eldest of 7 so my wedding would be the one my mum would go all out in and therefore it will kinda be her wedding. Again let's go back to the aspect of them finding a spouse ( a husband in my case) I know my mum would look for a man who is from a respectable family, has got his life stored out and is obviously ready to commit. And she obviously understand that there isn't always a connection so it would be up to me and the other guy to agree and get to know each other.

What do you guys think??

Reply 1

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Anonymous

Firstly let me define what arranged marriages is.
It's the planning of a marriage between two people which is done by the family. The marriage is consensual between the said people.

1) it isn't forced
2) it isn't religious but instead cultural.

I'm Actually for it. I think finding someone is quite hard so if you get help especially from your family who wants what is acctually best for you so they wouldn't intentionally set you up with a bad spouse. And also I really don't enjoy the aspect of planning a whole wedding. I'm the eldest of 7 so my wedding would be the one my mum would go all out in and therefore it will kinda be her wedding. Again let's go back to the aspect of them finding a spouse ( a husband in my case) I know my mum would look for a man who is from a respectable family, has got his life stored out and is obviously ready to commit. And she obviously understand that there isn't always a connection so it would be up to me and the other guy to agree and get to know each other.

What do you guys think??

That's just a wrong definition, the vast majority of arranged marriages will be religious, and a significant amount are forced as well.

It seems bizarre to me that your family would know what you want better than you do. Surely they're more likely to pick who they want? At least that will be a high consideration, when really it doesn't really matter, if you're happy it shouldn't matter what your parents think.

Reply 2

username1229433

5

I think it's good for someone to find their own spouse, because the feelings will be a lot genuine and mutual. Also, neither sides will have to fake being in love with somebody, because their families want them to.

You have to make the right decisions and learn from your mistakes. Yes, it's hard to find love. But, it's all about the journey you took to find the right person.

Arranged marriage is good, because at least you won't be alone forever and both families will be happy. But then again, you're not in control of your own destiny and the family is planning how your life should be (no offence). What if you and the chosen individual don't love each other, but lie to please others?

It's an interesting topic that is so common in today's society.

Anyway, just stating my opinion :smile:

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Reply 3

karmacrunch

21

Never, I'd like to 'choose' the person I'm going to marry myself.

If I don't meet anyone I like then I won't get married. Really miserable thought but I'd rather not get married at all than have an arranged marriage. :redface:

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Reply 4

L'Evil Fish

18

Original post by Mankytoes

That's just a wrong definition, the vast majority of arranged marriages will be religious, and a significant amount are forced as well.

Just because a lot of arrange marriages are forced, doesn't mean that's what makes it arranged. So that's not a valid point.

Arranged is just a set up between people. Don't even have to go through with it after meeting up with each other really, so not forced.

Reply 5

Mankytoes

10

Original post by L'Evil Fish

Just because a lot of arrange marriages are forced, doesn't mean that's what makes it arranged. So that's not a valid point.

Arranged is just a set up between people. Don't even have to go through with it after meeting up with each other really, so not forced.

The OP said that, by definition, an arranged marriage isn't forced. That's incorrect, that's my point. You could arrange a marriage, then force people to take part in it.

True, but it still indicates such a passive approach to your own life. Why is anyone incapable of doing this stuff for themself?

Reply 6

L'Evil Fish

18

Original post by Mankytoes

The OP said that, by definition, an arranged marriage isn't forced. That's incorrect, that's my point. You could arrange a marriage, then force people to take part in it.

True, but it still indicates such a passive approach to your own life. Why is anyone incapable of doing this stuff for themself?

They meant it doesn't inherently imply it's forced. Because it isn't a forced thing.

:dontknow:

maybe they're just lazy Or scared

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Mankytoes

The OP said that, by definition, an arranged marriage isn't forced. That's incorrect, that's my point. You could arrange a marriage, then force people to take part in it.

True, but it still indicates such a passive approach to your own life. Why is anyone incapable of doing this stuff for themself?

No that's forced marriages. By definition arranged marriage is consensual between both parties! And it is cultural in no religion does it say that marriages have to be arranged!!

Reply 8

Mankytoes

10

Original post by Anonymous

No that's forced marriages. By definition arranged marriage is consensual between both parties! And it is cultural in no religion does it say that marriages have to be arranged!!

No, by definition arranged is arranged, it could be consensual or not.

Ah, but do they say marriages can't be arranged? If not they can be religious.

Reply 9

pinejuice

11

you'd stay together longer in an arranged marriage because the only reason you are together is to keep up appearances for the family. if you get a love marriage you have alot more reasons to break up with the person but a love marriage is more real. its more honest. i doubt anyone would be happy in an arranged marriage.