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My boyfriend isn't over his ex?

We've been together 9 months and are very happy most of the time. I have always known he was with his ex for a long time (4 years between age 19 and 23) and that they lived together for 2 years. I always assumed that because they broke up over 2 years ago that he was over her and ready to move on. However, recently there have been conversations where it's clear he is still incredibly bitter. He refuses to go to social events if she and her new boyfriend might be there, he talks about her disparaging, emphasising the she left him because of various reasons. It's clear he is insecure about the whole thing. I'm just a bit worried he still harbours all these feelings for her clearly. What can I do? He hates talking about it but I feel like there's a lot of 'unfinished business'....
Nor's mine :/

Just give him an ultimatum..
Reply 2
well it's clearly not healthy. Especially when they broke up 2 years ago.
I mean tbh it could be that he feels uncomfortable with the whole situation with being in the same place as an ex.
It could also be that he hates himself for how it ended and while he has moved on from her, he hasn't moved on from the guilt.

I think it's imperative that he be honest with himself. I don't think he should necessarily tell you everything, but HE needs to think things through.

My ex went back to an ex of his after 2 years for a fling because after they broke up he felt like she didn't value the time they had together at all and was indifferent to him. It turns out it wasn't the case and then he has been completely over her since.

Also to bear in mind, people deal with things differently and he might just need time. Question is do you want to stick around for that long?
I would recommend counselling, and maybe that will help him to move on.
It was 2 years ago, and failing to move on, could be a cry for help. Stay strong, and hope that time heals his wounds.
Be supportive, as best you can, and let him know whilst you want to see him happier, as its intoxicating your relationship him holding onto the pain of the ex, and its affecting the progression of your relationship.

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