Was I raped?
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Original post by Allaboutthatbass
Tbh when a girl post something like this the guys usually slay her that alcohol isn't an excuse to cheat but you're right I think..
In this case though I don't think it was anybody's fault.
In this case though I don't think it was anybody's fault.
Fair point, and I agree with you, but it annoys me to see the double standards.
Original post by mollyxrose
Have to agree... If the OP were female, the replies would be something among the lines of "if you're drunk, you can't consent".
Although, OP, it really does depend how drunk you were. If you were passed out/couldn't form intelligible sentences, then there's no way you could've provided consent. It also depends if she was sober or not, if not, I suspect it was just drunken foolishness.
Although, OP, it really does depend how drunk you were. If you were passed out/couldn't form intelligible sentences, then there's no way you could've provided consent. It also depends if she was sober or not, if not, I suspect it was just drunken foolishness.
OP does say he can't remember what happened, which suggests he was very drunk, and if he can't remember giving consent, it cannot be assumed he did, although I do agree it was probably just two drunk people making out.
Original post by Anonymous
The other night, I went out to a party and I had a lot more to drink than I usually would. The next morning I woke up to find myself naked in bed with a girl I had only just met the night before lying naked next to me. I asked her what happened, and she was surprised I didn't remember and explained everything we did.
I have a partner and had I been sober there is no way I would have ever consented to sleeping with this girl. Would you say that I was raped? Should I report this to the police or just let it go?
I have a partner and had I been sober there is no way I would have ever consented to sleeping with this girl. Would you say that I was raped? Should I report this to the police or just let it go?
It sounds as if you were. You should report her to the police.
Original post by lamp-y
Legally you can't have been raped since she doesn't have a penis
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/rape
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/rape
This.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Arkasia
OP does say he can't remember what happened, which suggests he was very drunk, and if he can't remember giving consent, it cannot be assumed he did, although I do agree it was probably just two drunk people making out.
OP does say he can't remember what happened, which suggests he was very drunk, and if he can't remember giving consent, it cannot be assumed he did, although I do agree it was probably just two drunk people making out.
A lot of people will also rightly argue that it wouldn't legally be classed as rape since he wasn't penetrated. Overall I think it'd be a very difficult case to prove.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by mollyxrose
A lot of people will also argue that it wouldn't be classed as rape since he wasn't penetrated. Overall I think it'd be a very difficult case to prove.
Fair point, perhaps this would be a case of sexual assault, but I doubt it.
Original post by Arkasia
Double standards FTW. I have seen multiple threads like this on TSR in the past but from a girl's perspective, and the majority of the responses were 'you might have been', 'you had sex without your consent, he raped you' or 'you were drunk and he took advantage of you'. Now OP is a guy, everyone is telling him it was his fault he was drunk or to 'get on with his life'.
OP doesn't state their gender?
Ok it's not rape. How often when your sober do you ask your partner "is it ok if I have sex with you?"
My guess never, it just happens because you both want it too. You were clearly drunk and she was too, but you weren't so drunk that you couldn't have sex so you must have wanted it at the time at least. You should feel guilty but nights like this happen dude, it doesn't mean its rape though and the police would rape you with laughter if you called them about this...
My guess never, it just happens because you both want it too. You were clearly drunk and she was too, but you weren't so drunk that you couldn't have sex so you must have wanted it at the time at least. You should feel guilty but nights like this happen dude, it doesn't mean its rape though and the police would rape you with laughter if you called them about this...
Original post by Prandtl
OP doesn't state their gender?
OP stated they had a partner, and wouldn't consent to sleeping with the girl. I put 2+2 together.
Original post by Prandtl
OP doesn't state their gender?
he uses "her" in reference to the person he is talking about, hence it's fair to say, it's a guy.
Posted from TSR Mobile
**** the responses in this thread man. So different to if it was a girl.
Original post by Arkasia
Double standards FTW. I have seen multiple threads like this on TSR in the past but from a girl's perspective, and the majority of the responses were 'you might have been', 'you had sex without your consent, he raped you' or 'you were drunk and he took advantage of you'. Now OP is a guy, everyone is telling him it was his fault he was drunk or to 'get on with his life'.
That is evidently the point of the thread. This didn't actually happen...
Original post by yennibubs
Was waiting for some idiot to come out with this. Not even gonna comment.
Original post by mollyxrose
A lot of people will also rightly argue that it wouldn't legally be classed as rape since he wasn't penetrated. Overall I think it'd be a very difficult case to prove.
Yea, 'legally' it can't be classed as rape. Whatever the actual 'offence' though, the discussion remains the same. Suspect it's not a genuine thread, and is designed to bring up debate on this very issue (of why guy/girl 'equality' is non existent in cases of 'too drunk to consent')
Original post by samba
Yea, 'legally' it can't be classed as rape. Whatever the actual 'offence' though, the discussion remains the same. Suspect it's not a genuine thread, and is designed to bring up debate on this very issue (of why guy/girl 'equality' is non existent in cases of 'too drunk to consent')
I agree, the responses to this thread would be different if OP were a girl, as I posted earlier. To answer him though, it wouldn't legally be classed as rape.
Original post by mollyxrose
I agree, the responses to this thread would be different if OP were a girl, as I posted earlier. To answer him though, it wouldn't legally be classed as rape.
That's just semantics though. It's still an 'offence' which legally should be investigated no matter what class it is. My personal opinion is that people should take responsibility for their actions. Guys and girls. If you're too drunk to properly know what you're doing when you have sex, it's your own damned fault for putting yourself in that position in the first place. This 'taking advantage' crap is just a cop out for people incapable of dealing with their own actions. Obviously that opinion doesn't apply to drink spiking etc.
Original post by missfats
Why does rape mostly stem out of drinking etc in the uk?
I've seen several of these threads now.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I've seen several of these threads now.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Because it's easy to take advantage of a drunk person.
Ok so if a girl gets really drunk, goes back with a guy and they have sex, she wakes up, can't remember it, chances are she will think it could have been rape. It wasn't most likely, it was just a drunken one night stand.
If its a guy in the same situation he isn't thinking that he's been raped. He's either thinking "oh **** how drunk was I to sleep with her" or "I'm awesome". Again the chances are the guy didn't rape the girl, it's not rape, but how the two sexes would possibly react in the situation is perhaps different. Only because girls are more commonly victims of rape than guys and could be drugged really easily when drunk.
If its a guy in the same situation he isn't thinking that he's been raped. He's either thinking "oh **** how drunk was I to sleep with her" or "I'm awesome". Again the chances are the guy didn't rape the girl, it's not rape, but how the two sexes would possibly react in the situation is perhaps different. Only because girls are more commonly victims of rape than guys and could be drugged really easily when drunk.
Original post by Anonymous
The other night, I went out to a party and I had a lot more to drink than I usually would. The next morning I woke up to find myself naked in bed with a girl I had only just met the night before lying naked next to me. I asked her what happened, and she was surprised I didn't remember and explained everything we did.
I have a partner and had I been sober there is no way I would have ever consented to sleeping with this girl. Would you say that I was raped? Should I report this to the police or just let it go?
I have a partner and had I been sober there is no way I would have ever consented to sleeping with this girl. Would you say that I was raped? Should I report this to the police or just let it go?
Legally no weren't raped. Sexist laws aside, yes you were raped.
Consenting to sexual intercourse while being blackout drunk doesn't mean you actually consented as you didn't have the presence of mind.
If this was a lassie posting, everyone would tell her to go to the police.
Go to the police, report her. You were sexually assaulted. If you can't remember the night and she can, you were far too drunk and she wasn't. Sexual assault is no laughing matter, seek criminal prosecution.
If it had been the other way around, she could potentially of ruined your life, don't let her away with it.
Do need to be aware, just because you blacked out does not mean at that particular time you were too smashed to consent.
Just the weird way memories work due to alcohol, you can actually forget things from when you were more sober.
Even though you would be unable to get her prosecuted for rape, "if" you could prove it was against your will it would still be classed as sexual assault.
Just the weird way memories work due to alcohol, you can actually forget things from when you were more sober.
Even though you would be unable to get her prosecuted for rape, "if" you could prove it was against your will it would still be classed as sexual assault.
I seem to remember about 50% of responses to a very similar previous thread by a girl being that she was definitely raped, that the law says that consent isn't possible if drunk, begging her to go to the police, telling her she was a victim, etc.
So far the comments on this thread have ranged from 'lol get over it' to 'you probably consented, you can't claim otherwise because you don't remember'. I am yet to read a comment affirming that OP was raped/assaulted.
The difference in responses is astounding.
So far the comments on this thread have ranged from 'lol get over it' to 'you probably consented, you can't claim otherwise because you don't remember'. I am yet to read a comment affirming that OP was raped/assaulted.
The difference in responses is astounding.
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