Gf got spiked on holiday

My gf went on holiday and ended up going to a club, she arrived around 10pm and had 1 drink where she got spiked, blacked out and says she woke up somewhere random at 4am by herself not knowing what happened.

And she’s just telling me now and I’m really angry because

1) in a relationship I feel you need to always discuss with your partner before going to a club, especially if you’re on holiday in another country, which is typically for hook ups, like imagine your BF or GF going on holiday and going to a club there without telling you. So firstly I’m really angry about that

2) now something really bad happened where she most likely has been raped by possibly multiple people (could be my brain jumping to bad conclusions but it’s possible)

3) she never called the police because she felt they wouldn’t do anything for a tourist who was spiked, which is probably true but at least they might have checked the club CCTV

4) and now she’s just telling me to forget about it and it’s in the past

I’m really angry I feel she’s being very selfish but I also feel I’m being very selfish as I should be supportive but I cant help but feel angry at her

Now I told her she doesn’t respect me as a partner because if she did she would have told me she was going to a club before she went so we can regularly check in on each other to make sure everything’s ok and now were in a big argument. Because she’s calling me sexist and controlling etc and then she’s saying I’m being a hypocrite because sometimes after work I spontaneously go out with my colleagues to a bar. Which is definitely not the same because a) going out for a spontaneous after work drink with a colleague is completely different to going to a proper club on holiday b) it’s in my own town neighbourhood not a country which is dangerous for spiking and targeting girls.

Now we’re in an argument not taking and I’m not sure what to say or how to act

Reply 1

Veet Voojagig

11

I understand that this must be a horrible shock for both of you, but she is probably still traumatised from her experience, even if she is trying to put on a brave front. Rape is utterly horrific, but when you don't even know what happened, it can make your imagination run amok, much like it is with you. She is going to take a while to fully process what happened and could also be overwhelmed by feelings of shame, however misplaced.

Sometimes trauma victims try to bury all those horrible feelings in an attempt to dissociate from the event itself. It's the mind's way of protecting itself. Hence the "Forget about it. It's in the past" attitude. I don't think she disrepects you, but she is certainly struggling to come to terms with what happened. She may even be wondering whether you will see her differently now.

Perhaps it would be helpful if both of you seek counselling, because this is going to take time and she will need your support.

Reply 2

StriderHort

21

Original post by Anonymous

1) in a relationship I feel you need to always discuss with your partner before going to a club, especially if you’re on holiday in another country, which is typically for hook ups, like imagine your BF or GF going on holiday and going to a club there without telling you. So firstly I’m really angry about that

Pretty unreasonable way to act or get 'really angry' about, so with that attitude, no wonder she isn't open with you.

(edited 6 months ago)

Reply 3

marple

15

Original post by Anonymous

My gf went on holiday and ended up going to a club, she arrived around 10pm and had 1 drink where she got spiked, blacked out and says she woke up somewhere random at 4am by herself not knowing what happened.

And she’s just telling me now and I’m really angry because

1) in a relationship I feel you need to always discuss with your partner before going to a club, especially if you’re on holiday in another country, which is typically for hook ups, like imagine your BF or GF going on holiday and going to a club there without telling you. So firstly I’m really angry about that

2) now something really bad happened where she most likely has been raped by possibly multiple people (could be my brain jumping to bad conclusions but it’s possible)

3) she never called the police because she felt they wouldn’t do anything for a tourist who was spiked, which is probably true but at least they might have checked the club CCTV

4) and now she’s just telling me to forget about it and it’s in the past

I’m really angry I feel she’s being very selfish but I also feel I’m being very selfish as I should be supportive but I cant help but feel angry at her

Now I told her she doesn’t respect me as a partner because if she did she would have told me she was going to a club before she went so we can regularly check in on each other to make sure everything’s ok and now were in a big argument. Because she’s calling me sexist and controlling etc and then she’s saying I’m being a hypocrite because sometimes after work I spontaneously go out with my colleagues to a bar. Which is definitely not the same because a) going out for a spontaneous after work drink with a colleague is completely different to going to a proper club on holiday b) it’s in my own town neighbourhood not a country which is dangerous for spiking and targeting girls.

Now we’re in an argument not taking and I’m not sure what to say or how to act

Your girlfriend suffers a really traumatic experience and instead of offering support you blame her. Seriously? Hopefully your girlfriend will recover from this with the help of friends or counselling. She may also realise that she does not need to stay with someone so unsupportive.

Gf got spiked on holiday

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you