Housemates want a house party while I'm away?
So my housemates are planning a house party, but due to medical issues I need to be at home around that time, and am away till next term.
I don't know how to approach them because I do not want anyone going into my room - there's food, drink, basically a lot of stuff in there that I don't want to drag home but don't want people touching. Or anyone sleeping in my bed.
The issue arises because when I was away for a weekend they let some random guy I've never met sleep in my bed without even asking me. All my valuables were lying around too.
Hell knows what would happen with a full blown house party.
So - what the hell do I do? There's no lock on the door and one of my housemates freely comes into my room anyway and has bad habits of taking stuff.
X( what do I do.
I don't know how to approach them because I do not want anyone going into my room - there's food, drink, basically a lot of stuff in there that I don't want to drag home but don't want people touching. Or anyone sleeping in my bed.
The issue arises because when I was away for a weekend they let some random guy I've never met sleep in my bed without even asking me. All my valuables were lying around too.
Hell knows what would happen with a full blown house party.
So - what the hell do I do? There's no lock on the door and one of my housemates freely comes into my room anyway and has bad habits of taking stuff.
X( what do I do.
Go out and buy a lock.
Or you could ask them not to use it, but chances are they still will.
Or you could ask them not to use it, but chances are they still will.
Is there no way you can get a lock put on the outside of your door? From B&Q or something? Shouldn't be too difficult to fix onto the door. Or could you ask your landlord? It was very wrong of them to let a random guy in, in your room anyway let alone your bed, and I hope they apologise for that.
Just make it clear to them that you will absolutely not tolerate anyone entering your room, touching and taking your stuff. If you're not assertive with people, they take advantage of you. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot they wouldn't be happy if people were nosying in their rooms. Hope it works out.
Just make it clear to them that you will absolutely not tolerate anyone entering your room, touching and taking your stuff. If you're not assertive with people, they take advantage of you. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot they wouldn't be happy if people were nosying in their rooms. Hope it works out.
Original post by Buxtonwater
Go out and buy a lock.
Or you could ask them not to use it, but chances are they still will.
Or you could ask them not to use it, but chances are they still will.
Original post by fran1891
Is there no way you can get a lock put on the outside of your door? From B&Q or something? Shouldn't be too difficult to fix onto the door. Or could you ask your landlord? It was very wrong of them to let a random guy in, in your room anyway let alone your bed, and I hope they apologise for that.
Just make it clear to them that you will absolutely not tolerate anyone entering your room, touching and taking your stuff. If you're not assertive with people, they take advantage of you. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot they wouldn't be happy if people were nosying in their rooms. Hope it works out.
Just make it clear to them that you will absolutely not tolerate anyone entering your room, touching and taking your stuff. If you're not assertive with people, they take advantage of you. I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot they wouldn't be happy if people were nosying in their rooms. Hope it works out.
Original post by Swanbow
Buy a lock? Can easily attach a latch onto the door and get a padlock for it.
If I ask them it'll probably happen anyway. They barely saw a problem with letting the guy stay there, it only happened to slip out by accident - I could tell someone had been there... I told them they at least had to ask.
Problem is most locks easy to attach are inner locks - to get one for the outside it would be a whole new handle or I guess a latch padlock kinda thing. Would be obvious at least.
If I need to I guess I can ask LL but he's not great at doing his job..
Read an idea of reverse wedging the door - but using string to pull it close from the outside. Was thinking about doing that. Just annoying as I wouldn't be able to check the 'aftermath' for nearly 1-2 months after that.
Just generally is it acceptable to not want their friends to stay in my room?
Even outside of the 'party' I said I'm away and he said 'oh great my friends can stay in there'.
I said no, I don't want anyone in there, with my valuables or just touching anything. He didn't see anything wrong with wanting them in there. Had to change the subject before I got angry.
Is that unreasonable? I don't like the idea of strangers in my room and bed with my stuff, and I don't want to take lots home what with my medical issues.
Even outside of the 'party' I said I'm away and he said 'oh great my friends can stay in there'.
I said no, I don't want anyone in there, with my valuables or just touching anything. He didn't see anything wrong with wanting them in there. Had to change the subject before I got angry.
Is that unreasonable? I don't like the idea of strangers in my room and bed with my stuff, and I don't want to take lots home what with my medical issues.
Original post by Anonymous
Just generally is it acceptable to not want their friends to stay in my room?
Even outside of the 'party' I said I'm away and he said 'oh great my friends can stay in there'.
I said no, I don't want anyone in there, with my valuables or just touching anything. He didn't see anything wrong with wanting them in there. Had to change the subject before I got angry.
Is that unreasonable? I don't like the idea of strangers in my room and bed with my stuff, and I don't want to take lots home what with my medical issues.
Even outside of the 'party' I said I'm away and he said 'oh great my friends can stay in there'.
I said no, I don't want anyone in there, with my valuables or just touching anything. He didn't see anything wrong with wanting them in there. Had to change the subject before I got angry.
Is that unreasonable? I don't like the idea of strangers in my room and bed with my stuff, and I don't want to take lots home what with my medical issues.
No, that's a reasonable request, but people will go in your room if it's a party of any size. If people are getting pissed, you can't enforce rules like that. It's always worth locking away or moving what you can.
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