Housemate making sexual comments
I’m a gay guy and I'm in my first year of uni, I'm out to all my housemates and friends back home but that's it atm. I'm kind of close to one of my male housemates, he's straight and he's not long broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years.
Just after I first came out to all of them, he asked me if I've ever done anything with a guy and I said no and that was it at the time. He broke up with his gf like a month ago and after he asked me if I've met anyone and I said no and that I'm not really looking for a relationship, he then kind of made a joke about how we could be friends with benefits.
Me and our other house mates are worried about him after the breakup because he's been acting differently and said he wanted to die. I spoke to him the other day and told him I care about him and I said I'll listen to him if he wants to talk about anything and other things.
That night he was drunk and he got in bed with me and went to sleep and I just let him. The next day he was kind of confused about why we were in bed together and asked if we'd had sex, I said no and he said it was a shame.
Last night, he sent me a snap telling me to get in his bed later that night and we could make up for the other day and put a wink emoji. I didn't because I was confused and I think I've upset him as he's been ignoring my messages all day and he saw me earlier and went straight to his room.
How do I fix this?
Just after I first came out to all of them, he asked me if I've ever done anything with a guy and I said no and that was it at the time. He broke up with his gf like a month ago and after he asked me if I've met anyone and I said no and that I'm not really looking for a relationship, he then kind of made a joke about how we could be friends with benefits.
Me and our other house mates are worried about him after the breakup because he's been acting differently and said he wanted to die. I spoke to him the other day and told him I care about him and I said I'll listen to him if he wants to talk about anything and other things.
That night he was drunk and he got in bed with me and went to sleep and I just let him. The next day he was kind of confused about why we were in bed together and asked if we'd had sex, I said no and he said it was a shame.
Last night, he sent me a snap telling me to get in his bed later that night and we could make up for the other day and put a wink emoji. I didn't because I was confused and I think I've upset him as he's been ignoring my messages all day and he saw me earlier and went straight to his room.
How do I fix this?
It depends what your intentions are. Are you open to exploration with him or do you want to kindly let him down?
(I don't encourage dating housemates, for the record!)
(I don't encourage dating housemates, for the record!)
Move out if you can. I might be overthinking but what if he goes to the extreme and rapes you? Thats the worse worse worse case scenario. No idea why that popped in my head first.
Like I said to him I don't really want a relationship right now whilst I'm studying as I think it’d be stressful as it’d also involve me then having to come out to family members. I'd probably be up for us being friends with benefits like he joked but I don't know if he was actually serious last night and if he mean it or he's just upset about the breakup. I assume he probably Was being serious though as if it was a joke he wouldn't be ignoring me
Original post by Anonymous
Like I said to him I don't really want a relationship right now whilst I'm studying as I think it’d be stressful as it’d also involve me then having to come out to family members. I'd probably be up for us being friends with benefits like he joked but I don't know if he was actually serious last night and if he mean it or he's just upset about the breakup. I assume he probably Was being serious though as if it was a joke he wouldn't be ignoring me
he probably is bicurious and his emotional state rn turns him to you but tbh it’s up to you to decide what you want to do, you can talk it out w him and be fwbs from there or just ignore it and let it die down a bit
I have been there for him the most during the breakup mainly because he's closer to me than any of our other housemates so it may be why he's been like this and I probably would be up for it but I don't want to be kind of his experiment, I'm still a virgin so I don't wanna waste it which doesn't mean we have to be in a relationship but I don't wanna feel used if that makes sense.
He's still ignoring me though so I haven't been able to speak to him yet
He's still ignoring me though so I haven't been able to speak to him yet
Anyone else?
Original post by Anonymous
I’m a gay guy and I'm in my first year of uni, I'm out to all my housemates and friends back home but that's it atm. I'm kind of close to one of my male housemates, he's straight and he's not long broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years.
Just after I first came out to all of them, he asked me if I've ever done anything with a guy and I said no and that was it at the time. He broke up with his gf like a month ago and after he asked me if I've met anyone and I said no and that I'm not really looking for a relationship, he then kind of made a joke about how we could be friends with benefits.
Me and our other house mates are worried about him after the breakup because he's been acting differently and said he wanted to die. I spoke to him the other day and told him I care about him and I said I'll listen to him if he wants to talk about anything and other things.
That night he was drunk and he got in bed with me and went to sleep and I just let him. The next day he was kind of confused about why we were in bed together and asked if we'd had sex, I said no and he said it was a shame.
Last night, he sent me a snap telling me to get in his bed later that night and we could make up for the other day and put a wink emoji. I didn't because I was confused and I think I've upset him as he's been ignoring my messages all day and he saw me earlier and went straight to his room.
How do I fix this?
Just after I first came out to all of them, he asked me if I've ever done anything with a guy and I said no and that was it at the time. He broke up with his gf like a month ago and after he asked me if I've met anyone and I said no and that I'm not really looking for a relationship, he then kind of made a joke about how we could be friends with benefits.
Me and our other house mates are worried about him after the breakup because he's been acting differently and said he wanted to die. I spoke to him the other day and told him I care about him and I said I'll listen to him if he wants to talk about anything and other things.
That night he was drunk and he got in bed with me and went to sleep and I just let him. The next day he was kind of confused about why we were in bed together and asked if we'd had sex, I said no and he said it was a shame.
Last night, he sent me a snap telling me to get in his bed later that night and we could make up for the other day and put a wink emoji. I didn't because I was confused and I think I've upset him as he's been ignoring my messages all day and he saw me earlier and went straight to his room.
How do I fix this?
Proper jealous
I got hard just reading it . But if it’s not your thing let him down gently . And send him my way
Ask him to have a serious chat about what he is going through, and what is going on between the two of you.
I would not sleep with someone if they are in a bad mental state. If he is still interested in you when he becomes more stable, then go for it.
I would not sleep with someone if they are in a bad mental state. If he is still interested in you when he becomes more stable, then go for it.
Original post by Anonymous
Ask him to have a serious chat about what he is going through, and what is going on between the two of you.
I would not sleep with someone if they are in a bad mental state. If he is still interested in you when he becomes more stable, then go for it.
I would not sleep with someone if they are in a bad mental state. If he is still interested in you when he becomes more stable, then go for it.
Yeah, I also don't want to if he isn't doing okay. I haven't spoken to him yet but although he was ignoring me, I went to speak to him last night about random things because I kinda missed him and we watched a film together. I think he could like me because he kept trying to hold my hand and he made a joke about how we could wake up together everyday, idk though as ive never been in a relationship
Im going to try and speak to him at the weekend though
So, I spoke to him that weekend and he said he was joking and he didn't want to have sex with me because he's straight and we went back to normal. Then last night we had a party and I was flirting with another guy my housemate seemed kind of annoyed and told me the guy was going to use me. After the party, we were both drunk but him more than me and he told me he doesn't like seeing me flirt with other guys and he asked me to have sex with him. I said no because he was very drunk then he fell asleep. He spoke to me about it today and asked if id ever be his fwb, I said I wasn't sure as itd be my first time and I wouldn't want to waste it and then he started saying he doesn't want me, he just wants sex and I've spent the whole day crying because even if he is straight and wouldn't date me I thought I was more than just sex
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