Issue with Gf...
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I think it's ok to forgive her and go on with this. I mean, I would most likely do just that, but you are deeply affected so I don't know if things would be able to go on as before if you do manage to go down this route. She did tell you like as soon as this happend and if you are familiar with the advices that people who cheated and feel guilty receive, many of them say to come clean. Maybe that's what she thought was better too, it's a sign that she respects you.
You obv know that she was drunk and that might've influenced her, which I think it's right of you. You are so affected that I don't know if you can go on, that's all.
Would you have preffered she didn't tell you? I'm not ironic, just curious. Oh, and also I just blabberd, don't even know if there was any specific question to answer :-? And it's a feminine opinion, also don't know if it's what you wanted.
You obv know that she was drunk and that might've influenced her, which I think it's right of you. You are so affected that I don't know if you can go on, that's all.
Would you have preffered she didn't tell you? I'm not ironic, just curious. Oh, and also I just blabberd, don't even know if there was any specific question to answer :-? And it's a feminine opinion, also don't know if it's what you wanted.
Got to dump her. She doesn't respect you and she's probably laughing at you right now.
It's also likely they had sex. Was she out all night?
It's also likely they had sex. Was she out all night?
Love does not equal becoming a perfect person. People are human and make mistakes.
What you need to decide is 1) is this just a mistake? and 2) is it one you can forgive?
What you need to decide is 1) is this just a mistake? and 2) is it one you can forgive?
(edited 9 years ago)
To be fair I dont see the OP leaving her as of yet, because they way he's writting shows he really loves her, that may be true but if she felt kissing another guy was a good idea then its best to leave, I know its hard and I dont think you will leave her. This sort of issues comes on the Jeremy Kyle show all the time, im not joking either, yes the show has a stigma of chavs to it but some of the issues on the show is worth watching.
Secondly why not check through her phone has she got something to hide ? If she was really innocent/sorry then I would have thought she would let you read the messages between her and the other guy.
Btw did she drink ?
Secondly why not check through her phone has she got something to hide ? If she was really innocent/sorry then I would have thought she would let you read the messages between her and the other guy.
Btw did she drink ?
Get rid. If my current GF did this, she'd be out of my life.
I stupidly left my ex off when she kissed my best friend, and I suffered from the consequences.
I stupidly left my ex off when she kissed my best friend, and I suffered from the consequences.
Only you can decided this, you know her better than anyone.
IF she genuinely seemed upset and distraught about what she did, then perhaps you might find it in your heart to forgive her.
Has the relationship been a one way street as of late? Is it only you doing all the cute stuff? If so then that may be a hint that she isn't feeling as she used to.
IF she genuinely seemed upset and distraught about what she did, then perhaps you might find it in your heart to forgive her.
Has the relationship been a one way street as of late? Is it only you doing all the cute stuff? If so then that may be a hint that she isn't feeling as she used to.
Leave. Ditch. Evacuate the premise.
I think the fact that she opened up and told you everything says a lot. It shows she respects you and believes you have the right to know she did something wrong in your relationship and that you should call her out for it. Her being honest with you is a sign of trust. I don't think you should abandon ship yet, it's early days.
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Rugby234
I don't like to post things in here but I'm interested to hear your views.
My gf and I have been together about 5months, so far so good, I used to love spending time with her and the feeling was mutual. I've never been an ******* to her, regularly take her out for dinner several times a week, suprise her with gifts etc. From everything she's said/how she acts around I thought she was into the relationship 100%.
However... Last Friday night she was out with a few work colleagues until the early hours. Turns out she went back to one of the girls houses and ended up kissing a guy from work...
What pisses me off the most is the fact that there was obviously a lot of flirting going on over the course of the night, leading him to think if he were to try and kiss her she'd oblige.
The next morning she turns up at mine, sits down, starts crying and tells me what happened.
She does seem genuinely upset, but if she loves me as much as she says she does, then why did she even do it in the first place?!
After the kiss she tells me she left straight away, but I can't help but feel it was the only thing that happened.
Sorry, awfully written, so ask if there is anything I need to add to.
My gf and I have been together about 5months, so far so good, I used to love spending time with her and the feeling was mutual. I've never been an ******* to her, regularly take her out for dinner several times a week, suprise her with gifts etc. From everything she's said/how she acts around I thought she was into the relationship 100%.
However... Last Friday night she was out with a few work colleagues until the early hours. Turns out she went back to one of the girls houses and ended up kissing a guy from work...
What pisses me off the most is the fact that there was obviously a lot of flirting going on over the course of the night, leading him to think if he were to try and kiss her she'd oblige.
The next morning she turns up at mine, sits down, starts crying and tells me what happened.
She does seem genuinely upset, but if she loves me as much as she says she does, then why did she even do it in the first place?!
After the kiss she tells me she left straight away, but I can't help but feel it was the only thing that happened.
Sorry, awfully written, so ask if there is anything I need to add to.
Seriously if thats happening five months in I don't think that's a good sign. this should still be the honeymoon stage where you wouldn't even think of looking at another person!
from what you've said i would walk away now but i know its difficult when there are lots of emotions involved.
but then again everyones situation is unique
its like would you be happy with her hanging out with said colleague now?
also yeah as someone else has said it sounds horrible but you should probably kiss someone else you fancy to make it equal or you'll be wondering..........
Original post by Rugby234
I don't like to post things in here but I'm interested to hear your views.
My gf and I have been together about 5months, so far so good, I used to love spending time with her and the feeling was mutual. I've never been an ******* to her, regularly take her out for dinner several times a week, suprise her with gifts etc. From everything she's said/how she acts around I thought she was into the relationship 100%.
However... Last Friday night she was out with a few work colleagues until the early hours. Turns out she went back to one of the girls houses and ended up kissing a guy from work...
What pisses me off the most is the fact that there was obviously a lot of flirting going on over the course of the night, leading him to think if he were to try and kiss her she'd oblige.
The next morning she turns up at mine, sits down, starts crying and tells me what happened.
She does seem genuinely upset, but if she loves me as much as she says she does, then why did she even do it in the first place?!
After the kiss she tells me she left straight away, but I can't help but feel it was the only thing that happened.
Sorry, awfully written, so ask if there is anything I need to add to.
My gf and I have been together about 5months, so far so good, I used to love spending time with her and the feeling was mutual. I've never been an ******* to her, regularly take her out for dinner several times a week, suprise her with gifts etc. From everything she's said/how she acts around I thought she was into the relationship 100%.
However... Last Friday night she was out with a few work colleagues until the early hours. Turns out she went back to one of the girls houses and ended up kissing a guy from work...
What pisses me off the most is the fact that there was obviously a lot of flirting going on over the course of the night, leading him to think if he were to try and kiss her she'd oblige.
The next morning she turns up at mine, sits down, starts crying and tells me what happened.
She does seem genuinely upset, but if she loves me as much as she says she does, then why did she even do it in the first place?!
After the kiss she tells me she left straight away, but I can't help but feel it was the only thing that happened.
Sorry, awfully written, so ask if there is anything I need to add to.
If she was partying with mates till late hours there's a pretty good chance there was quite a lot of drink involved. Possible she just loosened up a bit and things went too far. Even taken girls flirt from time to time, especially when their drunk.
I wouldn't read too much into it. It was only kissing according to what you've said, yet obviously she's pretty upset about it and thinks it was a mistake bad enough to bring up as soon as she next saw you.
Thanks for the input, I'm going to hold off on a decision for now and will see how things go over the next few weeks.
She is making a lot of effort, she cooked last night, bought a load of food I like, and just generally being nicer than before, which I expect, but its still a good sign I guess...?
I was meant to be going to her home home this weekend, as it's her friends bday, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going, out of principal.
Despite acting very nice, she is trying to act normal, as if nothing's happened which I'm not sure is her brushing it off, or just hoping it'll make me warm to her a little more.
She is making a lot of effort, she cooked last night, bought a load of food I like, and just generally being nicer than before, which I expect, but its still a good sign I guess...?
I was meant to be going to her home home this weekend, as it's her friends bday, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going, out of principal.
Despite acting very nice, she is trying to act normal, as if nothing's happened which I'm not sure is her brushing it off, or just hoping it'll make me warm to her a little more.
It only took her a couple of months to make out with another guy, and this is after you have treated her like a princess? I really hope you leave her, I really do. From now, I can only imagine that you will be constantly thinking about what she is up to when she is out. I hope you find a nicer girl who would not even consider cheating on you.
Here's the thing. Its a social construct that having a cheeky kiss when drunk is considered cheating. Its not like she shagged him.
She was drunk. Shes so upset about it she was balling her eyes out. The poor girl is mortified. Give her a break.
She was drunk. Shes so upset about it she was balling her eyes out. The poor girl is mortified. Give her a break.
Original post by Sam Walters
Here's the thing. Its a social construct that having a cheeky kiss when drunk is considered cheating. Its not like she shagged him.
She was drunk. Shes so upset about it she was balling her eyes out. The poor girl is mortified. Give her a break.
She was drunk. Shes so upset about it she was balling her eyes out. The poor girl is mortified. Give her a break.
A social construct? Cheating is subjective (to a point) and out of respect, I wouldn't kiss another girl whilst with someone I actually liked and had no real reason to do, other than I had been drinking abit... She knew what was happening.
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Original post by Rugby234
A social construct? Cheating is subjective (to a point) and out of respect, I wouldn't kiss another girl whilst with someone I actually liked and had no real reason to do, other than I had been drinking abit... She knew what was happening.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Yes a social construct. Its hardly a natural thing to be confined to a single partner. Its not how our physiology works.
Yes I agree that you have a level of unspoken trust. Its just something you don't do.
However, she was drunk and shes now mortified about it....
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