The Student Room Group

why have I got a very horrible streak in me?

I used to be a bubbly, outgoing and fun person and feel guilty over every little thing but nowadays, I feel grumpy, nasty, moan a lot and have anger build up inside. I am with my partner who I cannot seem to connect with any more. He has problems of his own and I cannot be bothered to deal with it, but I am all he has. I have noticed my attitude as I recently started a new job and I am always getting picked at for doing every little thing wrong and I understand fully that I have to be told because I will get into trouble, but with my attitude I just go off in a huff, and start blaming other people instead of myself. I have been told I am a horrible person by my boyfriend because I told him to stop being an a-hole. I cannot believe what a complete horrible person I turned out to be. I am feeling so down. Because since I got with my boyfriend, I have no friends to talk to, I am stuck with him all the time and all I do is go to uni and work. I just don't know what to do about my self rightous horrible attitude :frown: I know this is not me, deep down.
Original post by Anonymous
I used to be a bubbly, outgoing and fun person and feel guilty over every little thing but nowadays, I feel grumpy, nasty, moan a lot and have anger build up inside. I am with my partner who I cannot seem to connect with any more. He has problems of his own and I cannot be bothered to deal with it, but I am all he has. I have noticed my attitude as I recently started a new job and I am always getting picked at for doing every little thing wrong and I understand fully that I have to be told because I will get into trouble, but with my attitude I just go off in a huff, and start blaming other people instead of myself. I have been told I am a horrible person by my boyfriend because I told him to stop being an a-hole. I cannot believe what a complete horrible person I turned out to be. I am feeling so down. Because since I got with my boyfriend, I have no friends to talk to, I am stuck with him all the time and all I do is go to uni and work. I just don't know what to do about my self rightous horrible attitude :frown: I know this is not me, deep down.


I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried doing another job? Because that doesn't really sound like a great work environment
Reply 2
No matter what job I go into, it is the same story. Before this it was actually a whole lot worse so I am moaning because somebody was picky. I work in a high standard hotel so I know deep down she's just making sure I know the ins and outs but even work is making me stress and lash out and say things I do not mean.
Original post by Anonymous
No matter what job I go into, it is the same story. Before this it was actually a whole lot worse so I am moaning because somebody was picky. I work in a high standard hotel so I know deep down she's just making sure I know the ins and outs but even work is making me stress and lash out and say things I do not mean.


Why don't you take a break or relax, it might just be stress. Have you been eating or sleeping properly?
What happened to your friends? Have you tried talking to them?
I can sympathise with you ( I know it doesn't make your situation any easier) Having someone dependant on you can be really tough. You feel like you're drowning in a sea of stress and anger. My other half is not completely okay in the head. He doesn't socialise well. This leaves me feeling bad for trying to socialise. I remember a time where I wasn't so bitter, mainly before I came to uni. Uni seems to have made me more bitter than I can imagine, just getting out of bed can be a chore. You probably feel like whats the point. Why be nice and decent to people, what will it really achieve ultimately.
I have found that finding a new outlook on life, and what makes me happy has helped considerably. I still get mardy a lot of the time, but I don't tend to take it out on the other half. I respect he can't help the way he is and I love the other 95% of him.

Making and maintaining friends is a chore all in itself, if you aren't naturally good at it. I'm a bit of a weirdo, I don't really understand social dynamics of friendship groups and can't cope well in large groups of people. I never feel the same age as everyone, even in a room full of people the same age as me. I feel like my worries and concerns aren't the same and I can't unwind and relax. For this I have coped by thinking to myself, they are only human. They have the same basic life processes as me, without them I'm fine, with them even better. Start a simple conversation about weather, or a course test or whatever with someone and relax.

It's not a self righteous attitude, you're just feeling a little down and can't quite control it. Have more faith in yourself. I'm sure you will go on to do fabulous things and be a fabulous person. Give yourself a break. Give yourself time for things you enjoy. And find things to look forward to.

We are so lucky to even exist, the chances of this planet being perfect for human life, or that humans would evolve to be how we are today is a miracle. I assume you live in a developed country e.g. UK/USA that in itself is a gift. We are given the tools to make our lives better than we can ever imagine.

Separate your problems into four categories
> Things that bother me now that I can change
> Things that bother me long term I can't change
> Things that bother me now I can change
> Things that bother me long term I can change
The first two develop coping strategies and appreciate not everything is perfect, you can only do you best.
The second two get right on that stuff! Only you control ultimately what choices you make and where you end up, be all you can be!

I'm sure you have not got a horrible streak, no matter what you have said or done. You just are not coping. Appreciate there is only so much you can deal with before you start to show signs or problems. You can't be perfect. But you can be perfect for you!

:biggrin: x

*Oh and if you ever need to talk to someone about anything even just rubbish you watched on tv or weather, private message me.*
(edited 9 years ago)
I can't believe no one else has said this, but if your relationship is making you unhappy, you need to end it.
I don't think she wants to end the relationship. She is just feeling guilty about her attitude and wants to do something about it. OP, have you apologised for what you said? That could be the start of your "road to redemption".
You sound like every other human being to be honest. No one is sweet and lovely and perfectly nice 100% of the time. You do sound stressed though. Take some time to relax and start diplomatically expressing when you're annoyed at work or else it will drive you crazy.
lol this^^^

You're a normal person.

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