The Student Room Group

Time to Talk 2015. Your part in ending mental health stigma!



Thursday the 5th of February is this year's official Time to Talk day, led by mental health charities Mind and Rethink Mental Illness.

Today is about taking just five minutes to talk about mental illness, whether that be your own experiences or those of others you know, stories of discrimination you've faced, or times you've found unexpected support.

You can join in the conversation online, on Twitter, at school, uni, the workplace or just in your own kitchen. The important thing is to get people talking and opening up about mental illness. :smile:

Here's my story...



If you're struggling with mental illness, whether your own or that of someone close to you, why not share your story below? If you have questions, go ahead and ask. Even if you're worried about saying the wrong thing, starting the dialogue is important. :smile:

Last year's Time to Talk thread can be found here, and I also recommend a trip to TSR's Mental Health Support Society. :yy:

Why not take a look at The_Lonely_Goatherd's AMA thread on life with schizoaffective disorder?
(edited 9 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

:wavey: im Panda and as everyones finger prints are different, so are our stories. So heres mine! It contains trigger warnings for sexual abuse, self harm and substance abuse.

Ever since i can remember i was bullied, id come home from school and just cry, even in primary school i hated myself since time began. I was always bigger than the other kids, but i couldnt help it, id eat the same as them at school, we only had sweets on friday nights, and i always ate my veg, but i was the fat one.

In secondary school the bullying got worse, it went one from the moment i got to the bus stop, to the moment i got onto my street, it was relentless. But in my group of friends we were all different to the "norm" tall, short, skinny, fat, curly hair, ginger hair, one eye, we were all bullied for different things but we stuck by each other. This was when the self harm started, because in our group it became normal to harm ourselves.

In year 8 i was sexually abused by someone, this changed me internally, in my brain. I was worthless, i was terrified of men, and for months after i would punch my belly to kill whatever was in there. I never went near any guys after that, the thought of being near a boy scared me. In year 9 i was sexually abused AGAIN but by someone else.

Around the age of 14 i started getting persecutory thoughts and delusions, there would be sniper men watching me, so i would have to crawl around the house t avoid being seen, i would be followed places, but i didnt understand that this was not normal so i was scared to tell anyone. This was when i started drinking every weekend, and even started partaking in substance abuse to get away from the reality that was my life.

I managed to scrape through school and decided to go 400 miles away to uni for a fresh start as my life had become toxic, but this was where more problems began. I was still being bullied, i was home sick, and i couldnt face uni. My personal tutor managed to keep me there, but things got so bad in third year i couldnt face leaving the flat anymore, my paranoia was back with a vengeance and i was failing. I went to a dr, got told my paranoia was nothing and asked to leave. I was persuaded to go see another dr but was too scared to discuss paranoia so was diagnosed with depression and given medication.

Because of this my best and only friends, my flatmates hated me! I was isolated 400 miles away from home and failing. I ended up failing my dissertation. So failed uni.
Fast forward a year i had moved in with a boyfriend (i actually met him on TSR) who is my first partner since the abuse, had another paranoid episode and was re sitting my dissertation, i spoke to a dr and got diagnosed with paranoia, and ended up passing my degree!

Its been tough but without The Mental Health Support Society here i wouldnt have had the nerve to seek help! Im now on medication for my depression and paranoia and doing much better than in the rest of my life, i see a future now whereas before i saw darkness!



Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 2
Hi Todot here :smile:

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I felt like I couldn't tell anyone, even some of my closest university friends don't know the reason I dropped out. Talking about mental health is scary and it shouldn't be...
Reply 3
Most people on here maybe already know my story or have seen some of my posts relating to it but I shall write it again since I can't sleep :tongue:

I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 16. I had also been diagnosed with crohn's disease a few months prior to that so doctors assumed it was the distress of finding out I had that and all the stress from the symptoms. I left school after being diagnosed and my depression got worse. I went to the doctor about it and they referred me to a psychologist and offered me anti-depressants. I didn't like the thought of taking meds for it especially when I was on meds for crohn's so decided to tackle it with exercise, confiding in my mum and a healthy diet which also kept the crohn's at bay. Doing that, I was pretty much over it all within a few months and mentally, I felt fine again. Still had some off days though.

So for about 4 years I was totally fine. The only thing that ever got to me mentally was PMS. I had started studying biomedical sciences at college, had been with my bf for about 3 yrs at that point, we had our own flat etc. Everything was fine and I wasn't stressed then suddenly one day I was sitting in a biology lecture and the room started to spin, my heart was beating so fast and hard I thought my chest would explode, my vision went all funny and I had to run out the room. I didn't know what the hell had happened but I pretty much felt fine the moment I got out of the class. I felt like I had been drugged. It didn't click to me that it was a panic attack I had. It literally came out of nowhere. So after that I started to get them in every biology lecture then that moved onto every class at college then on the train to college and then to more general things like I would get them when I was in a shop or in town and so on until it got to the point I became housebound for 6 months. I couldn't even take the bins out most days.

This all progressed over about a year. At first it was easy to hide from people such as my bf as I just came across as lazy and he likes staying in so he didn't see anything wrong with me not wanting to go out at first but then when it got to the point when I couldn't go out even when I wanted to, I broke down and confessed everything. I refused to believe for so long I had panic attacks and agoraphobia. I refused to believe what I was feeling was just caused by my thoughts because they felt so real and so strong.

Breaking point came on xmas day 2013 when me and my bf went over to my mum's. I was so panicky that I spent the entire day sitting in my mum's room crying and even ate my xmas dinner up there. Luckily my family were understanding as my mum and gran have both suffered from panic disorder but that day showed me I needed a kick up the bum.

So I went to the doctors and they offered me meds but I saw what my mum was like on hers - fine for years then the doc said she had to come off them and she was more anxious than ever when she came off them and she became severely depressed. So I opted for self help as the waiting lists for CBT were way too long and I didn't want to get any worse while waiting for an appointment.

I made a challenge chart and wrote down all the things I was scared of doing such as going on a bus, going into town etc and I build up slowly from what I thought was the easiest to the hardest. It was hard. I told my mum and bf to drag me out by the hair if they had to even if I pleaded no or begged them to let me stay in. For the first few times I did go out kicking and screaming but it gradually got easier.

About a year or so from that, takes us to now. I still get panic attacks almost every day but they are small ones and ones that I can usually get rid of in a minute and then get on with my day. I do sometimes still get the massive ones. You know the ones that knock you for 6 and you aren't right for days afterwards.

On new years eve just a month ago, I woke up from a nap and my heart was beating so fast that I thought I could see it beating it in my chest and the thump was that hard it was making me sick. I ran to the toilet quickly as soon as I woke up, still half asleep though and puked and had other horrible gut symptoms and when I came out the toilet I fell to the floor and started screamkng "I'm dying! Phone me and ambulance!" To my bf I had never felt that 'I am actually dying' feeling during a panic attack before and it scared me so much. I also felt like I was dreaming. I was slapping myself full force on the face to try and wake myself up. It was the scariest thing I have ever experienced. For weeks after that I had depersonalization which is bloody scary too! I used to get it for a day or two after a bad panic but this time was a lot worse. I knew it was not dangerous and just because my brain was tired and stressed but I still couldn't help but worry I think that bad panic was brought on by getting up too quickly, being ill with the gut symptoms plus you sometimes get that weird spacey feeling when you first wake up for a nap. I was in the toilet within 30 secs of waking up.

I still feel a little drained from that attack tbh. Its probably because it scared me so much and its hard to stop thinking about something like that though. I'm still ok with doing things I was scared of doing though like town and all that.

For me, panic disorder and agoraphobia was worse than depression tho PD brings on a depression of its own. So many times I wanted to give up but I knew I couldn't and I knew my mum and bf wouldn't let me. I couldn't have done it without them. They were always there to comfort me and even better, still gave me a tough love push when I needed it.

If you do suffer from regular panic attacks, don't do what I done and bury your head in the sand thinking there's no hope. The hardest part is remembering the feelings are only uncomfortable, not dangerous. I see anxiety and panics now like a wasp crawling up my car window. My window is shut and there's no way the wasp can get in but I am still gonna worry it can but I need to remember it can't, no matter how much my fear tells me it will. Just like with anxiety, you wont faint no matter how much you think you will.

Anyway I have wrote enough now! If you every need anyone to talk to about anxiety/panic disorder or argoraphobia, give me a shout :smile: I definitely recommend TSRs Mental Health Society.

Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 4
Thanks for sharing your stories so far peeps. :smile:
Short but not so sweet story about me and Mental Health :smile:

As I started my first year of A Levels, I started to become very stressed. I felt alone, an outcast and dint have many friends. My sibblings were making life hell for me and there was a lot of extra conflict (verbally and emotionally not physically) between my mum and dad and my mum and her partner.

Though i never went to the doctors, got diagnosis or spoke much to my family, I believe i had a mild case of depression. No matter how strong or weak it is, you cant clearly put it into words how you feel. Just not possible.

Some of my family didnt believe me and didnt understand what i was going through. Only 1 person in my family did any equivalent qualification and that was my uncle whos a teacher.

My friends gave me the absolutely ridiculous advice which is really quite a joke of the cliche "just keep smiling" "keep your chin up" "everything will be ok"

That advice made me madder.

Fortunately by the end of the year it had gone away and i was back on better terms mentally but now ive experienced depression i understand what it was like and understand mental health is such a big problem, and i take it very seriously now and we NEED to spread the word about it.

Mental Illness is no joke and certainly isnt cured by smiling. You can be in your favorite place doing your favourite thing with your favorite people but depression is there to just drag you down.

Love, peace and happiness to all :colondollar:
Reply 6
Gah, run out of rep already. :tongue:
So im going to share my story...

So it all started at around 2010... I dont know what brought it all on. If im honest i had had a tough time all the way through secondary school as i had never really made friends, but worst of all had been bullied, not to a huge extent, just name calling, but still horrible. I just put it down to having a bad day once a month or every 2. But during these i felt so detached from life. Lost interest in school and couldnt be bothered to do any work, i just didnt see the point...

It's when these days got to being 2, 3, 4 days long that i knew something was up. First major depression was when i broke up with my first gf (which i know is normal) which lasted ages, cant put a time frame on it. For the first week i felt so detached from society, didnt want to join in with anything going on, i just wanted to be alone.

At this point i should probably say i also have anxeity. Hated going through crowds, because i feel like someone will lash out for no apparent reason, which i know is not ever going to happen. But this is getting better.

First year of college was horrible, went not knowing anyone on my course and to make matters worse one of the people i hated most from school also went. But im glad to say i saw him 2 times and havent seen them since!

Its also around this time the depression started to become a near daily recorance for me, lost motivation totally in everything. I also started to work at a place i thought was nice environment, oh i was so wrong about this! Fast forward to the next school year, I had been offered an apprenticeship at this company. Score, i thought! NOPE. As time went on i started to hate going into work everyday. Didnt get on with everyone there, as they already had bonded and i never fitted in. One of them took a right disliking to me, as he did with everyone. Its when the emotional abuse started from him. Making me feel like a right dumb **** who couldnt do anything right. One day it got to much so told the boss, who sorted it out, which lasted a few days but it all started again... :frown: one day when the came in late they hurrled abuse stating my i havent done anything to help him previous (i was in the middle of getting stuff ready for someone else as they had been there from the start. Safe to say i nearly cried right there on the spot. but held it all together. Its at this point i contemplated quitting because i couldnt handle it all anymore. But i only stayed because of being paid and i needed the money.

fast forward a number of months and i get fired (due to the lack of work) FINALLY FREEE!!! but at this stage it was all too late. the months of verbal abuse had taken there toll. For months after i didnt leave the house unless it was really necessary. Just drowning in my own thoughts not knowing what to do or what the point of life was. Even though i had many things in my life to be thankful of.

What made everything worse was that in the jan/feb of 2013 i had been told i needed major back surgery. Which just scared the **** out of me! Thankfully it would not be done at the **** hole of my local hospital!

But during this time i surprisingly was the happiest ive ever been. For 9 months i felt alive. Even for a good 6 months after surgery i was happy. Even the month i was in hospital! But then i have to go in again. for a second op. And this is when i broke again. I hated the place. I just wanted to go home by the 3 day. but wasnt going to be the case.

This and also being told i cant do the things I love doing has hit hard. as im stuck not being able to do any sport until im told im allowed. Mix this with the stress and anxiety the looking at unis bring and the thought of moving out is hard. so much so i had my first anxiety attack. the thought of moving out got so much i couldnt handle it. it took 10 mins just get to feeling normal. so this was when i changed my mind of where i wanted to go, as this gave me the chance to live with friends.

but i still havent gone to the docs for meds. I have totally lost faith in them. as they just make me feel inhuman. One i had nearly knocked me out because it was that strong and i believe that it is also used as and AD/ AA tablet... which is why i dont want them. But i know something needs to be done if i stand a chance of passing uni... its already getting too much for me. i have days i just want to be alone but carry on as normal to seem like nothing is wrong with me. as noone knows that i have depression in my family. but i think they can tell because of how i look all the time, like nothing is there behind the eyes...

So thats my story. sorry i went on i have tried to cut out most of the crap without giving you my life story.
Bit lengthy, sorry. I haven't even touched on some problems. But I hope it helps.

In spoilers, because some stuff in there might trigger (it mentions an attack).

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So good to see people talking about mental health :smile:

Here's my story, spoilered for possible triggering stuff

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TW for abuse and suicide.

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Here's my (ongoing) story, spoilered because of triggers.
Sorry if it's a bit long and rambly D:

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If you're struggling with your mental health then you should definitely try to talk to someone about it; the best thing I ever did was ask for help :smile:
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 12
Original post by Kittiara
Bit lengthy, sorry. I haven't even touched on some problems. But I hope it helps.

In spoilers, because some stuff in there might trigger (it mentions an attack).

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Original post by ScaryScience
TW for abuse and suicide.

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Thread moved to chat so more people can see and contribute :smile:

oh okay it's back in Mental Health now
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Odd socks
Thread moved to chat so more people can see and contribute :smile:


Yeyyy.


Remember you can all ask us questions :biggrin:


Posted from TSR Mobile
Okay, my story :redface:

spoilered for length

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Original post by superwolf

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Ah feck, I've repped too many people and can't rep you all (am on PRSOM for some people anyway) :grumble:

A huge well done to everyone who's posted so far: it's not easy but it's very moving to read people's individual stories (some of which I had little knowledge of before).

I'll try and add mine soon :o:
Spoilered for length. Trigger warnings for abuse and suicidal-ness

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That's all the bad stuff.

Jan 2015 - turned a huge corner in NHS Acceptance and Commitment (ACT) therapy. Able to express the four different TLGs that exist, and feel miles better than I have done since starting Oxford (Oct 2007) as a result! Able to put a large part of the abusive relationship behind me and to start looking forward to the future, rather than being held captive by the past.

I am hopeful that things can only get better :h:

Wow, that was longer than I anticipated... :getmecoat:
Hi guys, my name is Stuart and I have a mental health problem called Schizo-Affective disorder (Bipolar type). I don't have time to write down my whole story but I'm happy to answer any questions people have about mental health in general or Schizo-Affective disorder. I have plenty of experience (unfortunately!) with psychiatric hospitals, sectioning, medication, therapy and life with a mental health problem. So feel free to ask away :biggrin:

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