The man I love is getting married to someone else today.

Hes 36, his wife is 32. im 22.
Ive been severely mentally ill for years.

There's quite an age gap there so I guess he has different priorities as well he probably feels it's time to settle.

Being mentally ill shouldn't be a reason someone isn't able to enter relationships or marriage lots of people have these conditions and have supportive partners. Equally sweet, you're so young you need to seek proper treatment and demand what you deserve. You can get better. Don't stigmatise yourself, it's not fair.

What mental illness is it you suffer from?

you dont really get it, ive been like this for years even with therapy and treatment and nothing has changed. it isn't a phase, it's something i'm going to suffer with for life.
going out now for a while.

as i said it depends on how severe it is, if you can sustain a relationship then it means youre coping with whatever mental illness youre going through.
i didnt "pick" him. i just fell for him. it wasnt a conscious choice.

just because i can't be in a relationship doesnt make it any less heartbreaking when someone you love marries someone else. i'm sad for him because it appears that hes only marrying her because she's pregnant.
why do you assume we dated?

I assumed because you never told you didn't date.
If you didn't, now I know

And as I already said, I'm sure he is old enough to know what he wants and how he is happy, have wife and gonna be responsible dad, have family.

So what's the point of the thread? What you want to hear from us? Tell us, we will encourage you!

I'd have to disagree with you again there OP - without knowing your own situation, I know mines pretty well and like I say, I used to be pretty unwell. To the point of my partner regularly driving 2 hours + to come look after me because I was too ill to keep myself safe and healthy. Our relationship might have been a bit lopsided at that point, but it survived and grew stronger. Mental illness is something people can and do learn to cope with or work around, and people saying 'x illness is worse than y' is helpful to no-one.

Might not have been conscious, but that surely suggests it could still have been subconscious?

It's good that your partner stuck by you when you were ill, but not everyone is like that. in fact i'd say you were rather lucky.

i dont really know what i'm looking for. i guess i wondered if there were people who have been through the same.

Let him go. No one can own him.

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Yes there is someone who has been through the same.

I am one of those people who has for some reason gone through many infatuations with people I cannot have. Either because they have been taken already or for other reasons, age gaps for example.

Last time was a year and a half ago and I found out about his other half. It was oddly disappointing even though I knew I couldnt have him myself and knew he would get with someone anyway (why wouldn't he?). I'll tell you what I did and its up to you whether you want to try it too. I stopped all "contact". I mean, didn't watch him on tv, didn't read about him, nothing. I just (and this is actually very hard to do at first but you will get the hang of it) put him out of my mind and let go any thoughts of him or of her. In time, and it didn't happen over night, I threw myself into my own business, my work and such like and found that after a while I couldn't even remember he existed.

Its important to remember as well, OP, that this kind and sensitive man would not want you to limit yourself and hurt yourself and your chance of happiness over him. He would want you to gain some perspective and live happily.

I hope this has helped, even just a little bit.

She can apparently.

Absolutely not. That guy is not her property.

He is gone. That's that. Now focus on yourself, be kind to yourself, and get better.


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