Trying to distract myself out of loneliness

So I've never had a boyfriend, never had sex, never been kissed. And to a certain degree its my fault. I'm an introvert and I have really high standards. I'm not talking thinking I deserve better standards, I'm talking I can't physically force interest in a lot of guys. Believe me, you have no idea how much this pisses me off. I've had a few crushes, most of them fizzling out either because of me or because they weren't interested. After the last one, I've resigned myself to being happy single. But every so often e.g. Now, I start to feel really lonely. Is there anything I can use to distract myself from this? Throwing myself into studying, gaming and netflix don't work :/

Reply 1

jheywood

2

Original post by Anonymous

So I've never had a boyfriend, never had sex, never been kissed. And to a certain degree its my fault. I'm an introvert and I have really high standards. I'm not talking thinking I deserve better standards, I'm talking I can't physically force interest in a lot of guys. Believe me, you have no idea how much this pisses me off. I've had a few crushes, most of them fizzling out either because of me or because they weren't interested. After the last one, I've resigned myself to being happy single. But every so often e.g. Now, I start to feel really lonely. Is there anything I can use to distract myself from this? Throwing myself into studying, gaming and netflix don't work :/

For me I find that its best to do things with people, even if its just hanging round chatting with friends. Feel free to personally message me if you want to discuss more.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Bump (please help; this is driving me mad)

Reply 3

username1060297

21

Yeah loneliness can get really awful. I think you should try and come to terms with it, like talk about it with someone, when I'm bored of being alone I talk to people more just to get some human interaction to remind myself I'm still human too, like I don't care if it's a stranger on the internet or if it's a gamer buddy or even a family member - the act of accepting it's something that happens is strangely liberating I suppose it's frustrating when you don't really know who to turn to so you xan just talk for ages about things in general but you'll find people only if you make it possible.

I've never really wanted a girlfriend for the sake of having a relationship; I mean don't get me wrong I'm not gay or anything but I think its similar to what your experiencing; sometimes it's just another person who you can talk to, engage with and just appreciate one another's significance or usefulness to each other - am I right?

The idea is you're able to relax and not get so worked up and then you can go back to enjoying whatever it is you enjoy. Good luck man, maybe PM people on here for a start? I'd be cool with helping someone out because loneliness can get pretty miserable when you're stuck in it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 4

Ecro

Why do you think being lonely is a bad thing?

Reply 5

D_ecrivaine

17

Original post by Anonymous

So I've never had a boyfriend, never had sex, never been kissed. And to a certain degree its my fault. I'm an introvert and I have really high standards. I'm not talking thinking I deserve better standards, I'm talking I can't physically force interest in a lot of guys. Believe me, you have no idea how much this pisses me off. I've had a few crushes, most of them fizzling out either because of me or because they weren't interested. After the last one, I've resigned myself to being happy single. But every so often e.g. Now, I start to feel really lonely. Is there anything I can use to distract myself from this? Throwing myself into studying, gaming and netflix don't work :/

I haven't had a whole lot of luck with boys either, I only was able to get with my ex as I already knew him well and felt comfortable around him. Not sure how a future relationship will come together, sooo....

Reply 6

SarcasticMel

2

Get a hobby, I am looking for a good one too.

Reply 7

Cutty

2

This is a tough one...if throwing yourself into studying, gaming and watching net flicks isn't working, then you need to address the nature of your loneliness. What do you want exactly? Ask yourself this question. Perhaps you can't just distract yourself and pretend not to be lonely, that doesn't seem to be working. All I can think about is that maybe you should concentrate on building good relationships with family members and use them for support or to talk to when times get lonely. Alternatively, you may want to consider opening up yourself and becoming more open and relaxed around people, you never know, you could make a friend any day. Another thing is that you should try to understand that you're not the only person out there who feels like this, there are other people who share this feeling and who are also lonely and trying to get on with life, you're not alone. I know it's not very helpful, but if you learn to appreciate yourself and appreciate your own company, then you'll feel less lonely and less reliant on others for happiness. Instead of thinking of yourself as a lonely person, you should appreciate the good qualities that you have and try to get on with your life with a positive mindset. You could talk to people on here, it helps. You can always go out and visit places, e.g. shopping centres, cinemas, restaurants, parks...you can treat yourself to a nice day out, doesn't have to be with someone else, you can go alone and enjoy yourself and have lots of fun.

I know it gets hard, but hang in there and maybe things will get better. With regards to romantic relationships, it's not the kind of thing that you should force to happen. Only go into it if you really want it, if you meet someone who you think is worth your time and effort. Some people just aren't worth it at all, by staying single you've avoided potentially some very major heartbreak pain. A boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn't be someone who you rely on and depend on for your happiness, no. They should add to your life, not define it. So don't worry too much about that, when the time is right you'll eventually come across someone who will be good enhance who will be interested in you.

Good luck with this, I hope you manage to find a way to feel less lonely and to feel fulfilled in your life. It's a horrible feeling, it traps you and makes you feel miserable, but try to be positive and optimistic that one day, a good friend will come along one day :smile:

take care.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Zechs

14

There are so many things going on in society that if you really want to make friends you can.

In London for example, there are so many free events or cheap courses to join. Not everyone needs many friends though, perhaps you are one of these people and so are more vulnerable to feelings of loneliness. As for your romance troubles I'm not even sure how a woman could get herself like that sounds somewhat self inflicted it's upto you to make a go on things.

(edited 9 years ago)

Trying to distract myself out of loneliness

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you