5 year relationship ended, what should I do??
I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he relationship lasted 5 years and today he has ended it. We have always been extremely close, best friends and loved each other very very much.
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
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Take some timeout and enjoy yourself as much as you can. If he really loved you he would have made an effort to work at it. Obviously you put all you had in to it but it seems he couldn't be bothered to even try, I may be way off the mark but that's how it looks to me.
When you are ready to get with someone again you will know it but anyway as I said take timeout and enjoy your life, go out with your mates and have a good time.
When you are ready to get with someone again you will know it but anyway as I said take timeout and enjoy your life, go out with your mates and have a good time.
I think its a great idea.
I was in a similar situation last year (me and my boyfriend have been together since I was 14, last year when I was 17 I called it off). I was similarly depresses and stressed because of school and family problems, he was depressed as he couldn't find a job etc and we just weren't benefiting each other. It was difficult to break up, we still chatted etc during the break up but after 3 months apart we got back together and its been much better since. Now we are coming up to celebrating our 4 year anniversary and appreciate each other a lot more.
You may be each others first call for support, but when you each have personal demons to fight, sometimes your best (and only) support is yourself.
Gym and meditation is a great idea, I wish I'd thought of that. My main advice would to be not to dwell on it. I made sure I was constantly in the company of friends/family/laughing/generally have a good time and ignoring looking at 'our' photos/listening to 'our' music to keep my mind off it to generally make the most of the time apart to clear my head. A break can be the best thing you can do in the long run, despite it being it hard at first. But just remember, if you love each other that much - which you clearly do - you can overcome anything and will get back together and be stronger. If thats not the case later on, then cross that bridge when you come to it.
I wish you all the best with it, think of it positively
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I was in a similar situation last year (me and my boyfriend have been together since I was 14, last year when I was 17 I called it off). I was similarly depresses and stressed because of school and family problems, he was depressed as he couldn't find a job etc and we just weren't benefiting each other. It was difficult to break up, we still chatted etc during the break up but after 3 months apart we got back together and its been much better since. Now we are coming up to celebrating our 4 year anniversary and appreciate each other a lot more.
You may be each others first call for support, but when you each have personal demons to fight, sometimes your best (and only) support is yourself.
Gym and meditation is a great idea, I wish I'd thought of that. My main advice would to be not to dwell on it. I made sure I was constantly in the company of friends/family/laughing/generally have a good time and ignoring looking at 'our' photos/listening to 'our' music to keep my mind off it to generally make the most of the time apart to clear my head. A break can be the best thing you can do in the long run, despite it being it hard at first. But just remember, if you love each other that much - which you clearly do - you can overcome anything and will get back together and be stronger. If thats not the case later on, then cross that bridge when you come to it.
I wish you all the best with it, think of it positively
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OP, I think that for now the only person that matters is you. Yes, go to the gym, take up meditation, eat healthily, pursue your hobbies, do what makes you happy and what makes you better for yourself. No-one else. Everyone should strive for self-improvement anyway, in my opinion, so do that now. Maybe talk to a professional about your depression if you don't think you can shift it yourself?
Let other things happen as they happen - right now, take control of what you're doing in life, and you'll be in a much better position for whatever happens next
Let other things happen as they happen - right now, take control of what you're doing in life, and you'll be in a much better position for whatever happens next
Original post by CelineBean
I think its a great idea.
I was in a similar situation last year (me and my boyfriend have been together since I was 14, last year when I was 17 I called it off). I was similarly depresses and stressed because of school and family problems, he was depressed as he couldn't find a job etc and we just weren't benefiting each other. It was difficult to break up, we still chatted etc during the break up but after 3 months apart we got back together and its been much better since. Now we are coming up to celebrating our 4 year anniversary and appreciate each other a lot more.
You may be each others first call for support, but when you each have personal demons to fight, sometimes your best (and only) support is yourself.
Gym and meditation is a great idea, I wish I'd thought of that. My main advice would to be not to dwell on it. I made sure I was constantly in the company of friends/family/laughing/generally have a good time and ignoring looking at 'our' photos/listening to 'our' music to keep my mind off it to generally make the most of the time apart to clear my head. A break can be the best thing you can do in the long run, despite it being it hard at first. But just remember, if you love each other that much - which you clearly do - you can overcome anything and will get back together and be stronger. If thats not the case later on, then cross that bridge when you come to it.
I wish you all the best with it, think of it positively
Posted from TSR Mobile
I was in a similar situation last year (me and my boyfriend have been together since I was 14, last year when I was 17 I called it off). I was similarly depresses and stressed because of school and family problems, he was depressed as he couldn't find a job etc and we just weren't benefiting each other. It was difficult to break up, we still chatted etc during the break up but after 3 months apart we got back together and its been much better since. Now we are coming up to celebrating our 4 year anniversary and appreciate each other a lot more.
You may be each others first call for support, but when you each have personal demons to fight, sometimes your best (and only) support is yourself.
Gym and meditation is a great idea, I wish I'd thought of that. My main advice would to be not to dwell on it. I made sure I was constantly in the company of friends/family/laughing/generally have a good time and ignoring looking at 'our' photos/listening to 'our' music to keep my mind off it to generally make the most of the time apart to clear my head. A break can be the best thing you can do in the long run, despite it being it hard at first. But just remember, if you love each other that much - which you clearly do - you can overcome anything and will get back together and be stronger. If thats not the case later on, then cross that bridge when you come to it.
I wish you all the best with it, think of it positively
Posted from TSR Mobile
Thank you, great advice
how did you end up getting back together? One part of me thinks it really is the end because we've been getting worse the last few months. But then the other half of me thinks this break up will give me a chance to sort myself out, improve my life and be the person I want to be. It's just so hard!!Original post by lrose94
Thank you, great advice how did you end up getting back together? One part of me thinks it really is the end because we've been getting worse the last few months. But then the other half of me thinks this break up will give me a chance to sort myself out, improve my life and be the person I want to be. It's just so hard!!
how did you end up getting back together? One part of me thinks it really is the end because we've been getting worse the last few months. But then the other half of me thinks this break up will give me a chance to sort myself out, improve my life and be the person I want to be. It's just so hard!!I can't comment on the first bit, but the second bit will only ever be as hard as you make it yourself.
Making simple changes in life is easy and effective, and lead to changes on a larger scale. You said you've put weight on and that's reduced your confidence; change it. Instead of a chocolate bar, eat an apple. Instead of half an hour on facebook, go for a quick walk. In conjunction, nature and activities that exert you have been proven to be brilliant natural anti-depressions.
Yoga and meditation also helps. I do half an hour yoga before bed and usually meditate for once an hour every other day. These allow me to properly focus on myself and what is currently bothering me/how to fix it.
Also, find happiness in your own worth. I'm not saying you don't have that, but you mentioned you've been getting clingy. Not only is this an unattractive quality but it's also a sign of being emotionally unhealthy. There's not a single second where I think '****, I wish x was here to spend time with me' when I'm on my own, because I'm perfectly content. I can't tell you what your own past times should be, but I deeply deeply believe every single soul in the world needs to be at peace with themselves before they engage in any sort of relationships, friendship or romantic.
People are meant to compliment your lives and not dominate them. Take this time out to focus on you, your health and your passions and re-visit the idea of going back to him at a later date. If it was meant to be, it will be, so relax and focus on you.
, No change is too difficult and, as stereotypical as it sounds, you can change yourself for the better at any given moment. It depends entirely on how determined you are, and I think everyone has enough determination in them to change themselves for the better.(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by MichaelB6
I can't comment on the first bit, but the second bit will only ever be as hard as you make it yourself.
Making simple changes in life is easy and effective, and lead to changes on a larger scale. You said you've put weight on and that's reduced your confidence; change it. Instead of a chocolate bar, eat an apple. Instead of half an hour on facebook, go for a quick walk. In conjunction, nature and activities that exert you have been proven to be brilliant natural anti-depressions.
Yoga and meditation also helps. I do half an hour yoga before bed and usually meditate for once an hour every other day. These allow me to properly focus on myself and what is currently bothering me/how to fix it.
Also, find happiness in your own worth. I'm not saying you don't have that, but you mentioned you've been getting clingy. Not only is this an unattractive quality but it's also a sign of being emotionally unhealthy. There's not a single second where I think '****, I wish x was here to spend time with me' when I'm on my own, because I'm perfectly content. I can't tell you what your own past times should be, but I deeply deeply believe every single soul in the world needs to be at peace with themselves before they engage in any sort of relationships, friendship or romantic.
People are meant to compliment your lives and not dominate them. Take this time out to focus on you, your health and your passions and re-visit the idea of going back to him at a later date. If it was meant to be, it will be, so relax and focus on you., No change is too difficult and, as stereotypical as it sounds, you can change yourself for the better at any given moment. It depends entirely on how determined you are, and I think everyone has enough determination in them to change themselves for the better.
Making simple changes in life is easy and effective, and lead to changes on a larger scale. You said you've put weight on and that's reduced your confidence; change it. Instead of a chocolate bar, eat an apple. Instead of half an hour on facebook, go for a quick walk. In conjunction, nature and activities that exert you have been proven to be brilliant natural anti-depressions.
Yoga and meditation also helps. I do half an hour yoga before bed and usually meditate for once an hour every other day. These allow me to properly focus on myself and what is currently bothering me/how to fix it.
Also, find happiness in your own worth. I'm not saying you don't have that, but you mentioned you've been getting clingy. Not only is this an unattractive quality but it's also a sign of being emotionally unhealthy. There's not a single second where I think '****, I wish x was here to spend time with me' when I'm on my own, because I'm perfectly content. I can't tell you what your own past times should be, but I deeply deeply believe every single soul in the world needs to be at peace with themselves before they engage in any sort of relationships, friendship or romantic.
People are meant to compliment your lives and not dominate them. Take this time out to focus on you, your health and your passions and re-visit the idea of going back to him at a later date. If it was meant to be, it will be, so relax and focus on you.
, No change is too difficult and, as stereotypical as it sounds, you can change yourself for the better at any given moment. It depends entirely on how determined you are, and I think everyone has enough determination in them to change themselves for the better.Thank you so so much for this. this is exactly what i needed to hear. it was only this afternoon we broke up but ive came to realisation that im going to use this opportunity to really work on myself and become more independent. Possibly because we have been together from such a young age I havent grown or developed. I joined the gym this evening, put my name down for yoga and meditation classes. Going to try really hard to be at peace with myself and become happy. In terms of the relationship we arent working at the moment, if in the future he come back and wants to try again I will carefully consider it. Just going to make a big effort and be strong
Best of luck. Sorry
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by lrose94
I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he relationship lasted 5 years and today he has ended it. We have always been extremely close, best friends and loved each other very very much.
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
Gym and Meditation will defo help. A good meditation app is 'HEADSPACE'. It will also really help your anxiety and depression, plus its good for you! Do anything to take your mind off of him, go out with friends, spend time with family, watch netflix. Don't jump to any conclusions about the break up, you were together 5 years! Its going to be hard, for both of you, and you'll change your mind about how you feel and what you want a lot, don't worry though its normal. Its also only been a day, so you never know what will happen in a week or even a month or how you'll feel. Take some time out to re discover yourself and whatever happens, no matter how hard it is, you will always be learning and growing from it. Try and stay as positive as possible so that your depression and anxiety stay under control and try not to be alone too much so you don't think too hard on it all, that'll make it worse. Vent to a person you trust or write it down in a diary. You will be okay in the end, and it will defo get easier and hurt less with time
. Good luck xothanks everyone. Its only been 24 hours and i've gone through a whole heap of emotions. Ive been analysing the relationship (which is stupid of me) and I now think looking back things weren't right for a few months between us. Ive accepted it it is best for both of us to not be together now. The way he has acted lately, ignoring me and being up and down and my depression and anxiety do not compliment each other. We haven't been gaining anything from the relationship the last 2 months, instead it has been draining. I can't help but think optimistically that we may end up together eventually but right now at this moment it would be the wrong thing. I need to be much more independent, self-reliant, happy with myself before I can even think of us back together or starting a new one. I just can't help but worry about him, I know its been hard for him and it will hit him hard. It sounds rather big headed of me but he will never find a girlfriend who loved him as much as I did, cared for him and he loved my personality.
Anyways the main thing is that i focus on myself now. Had good news that Ive been accepted to do teacher training in september. So I'm going to spend the summer losing weight, going out with friends, get a part time job and become happy and independent. I hate the person i have become and maybe thats the result of an unhealthy relationship???
Anyways the main thing is that i focus on myself now. Had good news that Ive been accepted to do teacher training in september. So I'm going to spend the summer losing weight, going out with friends, get a part time job and become happy and independent. I hate the person i have become and maybe thats the result of an unhealthy relationship???
Original post by lrose94
Thank you, great advice how did you end up getting back together? One part of me thinks it really is the end because we've been getting worse the last few months. But then the other half of me thinks this break up will give me a chance to sort myself out, improve my life and be the person I want to be. It's just so hard!!
how did you end up getting back together? One part of me thinks it really is the end because we've been getting worse the last few months. But then the other half of me thinks this break up will give me a chance to sort myself out, improve my life and be the person I want to be. It's just so hard!!We decided when we were in a better place this time last year (I was less stressed with school, he found a job which improved his self worth) that we'd try again and took it slowly, I.e by actually noticing how we'd both improved, making sure we communicated more and just going for dates every week instead of jumping straight back into things.
It's early days yet to figure out what you need. Have some you time to think (go to a spa, jog or something). Learn to appreciate yourself and find your self worth first - you say its a chance to be the person you want to be - then do it! Go out there and do what you've been wanting to do for you in the past few months
without sounding cliché, regardless of how bad things have been between you two, what's Meant to be will be eventually it's obvious this break will be a good thing for you both and little changes in yourself (and him) will benefit both of you.Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by lrose94
I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he relationship lasted 5 years and today he has ended it. We have always been extremely close, best friends and loved each other very very much.
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
Step 1) Stop being pathetic.
Step 2) Move on with your damn life.
Original post by lrose94
I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he relationship lasted 5 years and today he has ended it. We have always been extremely close, best friends and loved each other very very much.
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
Sweetheart - I feel for you. ALthough I am am lot older, my marriage ended last year after 28 years together. I was devastated.
Use this time to review your life - you are young. Try things you have never done before - get exercise, new clothes, drop a few pounds. Meet new people. You may not feel like doing things at the moment but you will soon.
As a colleague I work with said to me - "good times will come again". He was right
Original post by lrose94
Its killing me knowing its over for good. Looking back on his behaviour and what he has said he has thought about us breaking up for a long time. I don't understand though how a relationship can end if two people still say they love each other?
I just came here to say I know how you feel. I was engaged to the guy I'd been with for over 4 and a half years, and have known for nearly 10 years. But two months ago he decided that he didn't love me anymore and split up with me.
For weeks I was just telling myself that it was just because he was stressed (he's had some issues with depression before and I thought that might be coming back) and convinced myself that it wouldn't take long for him to realise he'd made a mistake.
Realising and accepting that he wasn't coming back was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. It's made worse because I know my friends and family are hoping/expecting that he'll change his mind. But I realised I can't waste my life away sitting around waiting for him. Live for yourself first and foremost :-) things will get better.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Things have became very confusing for me...
I spoke to him on tuesday, he said its killing him not talking to me and knowing he has hurt me etc. He also said that he isn't saying our relationship is over because he can't imagine or want to settle down with anyone else but me and that we should use this time apart to sort out our own individual problems and meet in a few weeks to see how we feel etc.
That gave me a flicker of hope that we might get back together in the near future. I've been going to the gym, yoga and meditation classes and seeing friends. I am making a big effort to sort myself out and become more independent etc.
Then yesterday I spoke to him just to clarify what is happening because I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment and its driving me crazy. I said how it is confusing for me, I don't know whether to assume it is over between us or to work on myself in the hope that we will get back together. He said he broke up with me because if we carried on we would have ended up hating each other because of my depression and his family issues (which I think is true) and that he wanted to have a month apart for us to sort ourselves out and then see if we want to get back together. I agreed to that. We both agreed that we had become to clingy and dependent with each other. I think he is confused about what he wants because then he said we just need to see if we can be without each other. He ended the conversation saying he loves me with all of his heart. Its driving me mad all this uncertainty.
Does it sound like he will want to get back together or is he dragging it out??
I spoke to him on tuesday, he said its killing him not talking to me and knowing he has hurt me etc. He also said that he isn't saying our relationship is over because he can't imagine or want to settle down with anyone else but me and that we should use this time apart to sort out our own individual problems and meet in a few weeks to see how we feel etc.
That gave me a flicker of hope that we might get back together in the near future. I've been going to the gym, yoga and meditation classes and seeing friends. I am making a big effort to sort myself out and become more independent etc.
Then yesterday I spoke to him just to clarify what is happening because I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment and its driving me crazy. I said how it is confusing for me, I don't know whether to assume it is over between us or to work on myself in the hope that we will get back together. He said he broke up with me because if we carried on we would have ended up hating each other because of my depression and his family issues (which I think is true) and that he wanted to have a month apart for us to sort ourselves out and then see if we want to get back together. I agreed to that. We both agreed that we had become to clingy and dependent with each other. I think he is confused about what he wants because then he said we just need to see if we can be without each other. He ended the conversation saying he loves me with all of his heart. Its driving me mad all this uncertainty.
Does it sound like he will want to get back together or is he dragging it out??
Original post by lrose94
I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he relationship lasted 5 years and today he has ended it. We have always been extremely close, best friends and loved each other very very much.
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
Hey, at the moment your relationship seems to have ended because he's most likely stressed himself and he feels as though it's unfair on you. I think you should wait a while just give it a few months, let him sort his life out and hopefully he comes back. 5 years is a long time just please don't be in a rush to move on in the mean time you should be active and of course join the gym
just message him every now and then to make sure he's doing fine xOriginal post by lrose94
I met my boyfriend when we were both 16, he relationship lasted 5 years and today he has ended it. We have always been extremely close, best friends and loved each other very very much.
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
The last 2 months things have been very difficult for us both individually and as a couple. I have been very depressed, I've got bad anxiety and been stressed with uni work. He has had a lot of family problems and they are having the house taken off them etc. It is very very stressful for both of us and we have grown apart as a result. we haven't spoken much when we are apart and are just not as close as we used to be a month or two ago.
Today he came over and said it is over. He can't be in a relationship anymore but he loves me with all of his heart. He said it has been the hardest decision to make in his life but thinks its best for both of us. he told me I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and wants to be with me next year. just at the moment we can't be together and being apart would be the best for the both of us. he said he would love it if in a couple of months time we could meet up and see how we both feel. he understands though that he can't pick and choose with me and drag me along. I've put weight on due to depression and i have became very clingy and pathetic and he gets very stressed. we agreed we both need to sort our heads out.
things ended with him telling me he loves me and said bye gave each other a hug. i could tell it was so hard for him, he started to cry.
I just don't know what to do now. Should i just assume we are never going to see each other and get my life sorted and try and move on or should i just think we are going to get back together eventually? we said we both wanted to be together forever.
also do you think its a good idea if i join the gym and start meditation?
it hurts so so much but I'm going to try my hardest not to contact him etc
right. These are the steps that should work. The first thing is denial.
Stay in denial. U dont believe it and get ur hopes up really high.but whilst ur in this stage, block them off everything so there is no way u can contact them. But still keep ur hopes high
Eventually time will pass and you will meet new people and do new things and you will have an epiphany that oh! Ive oast so much time without my beloved
Then u realise u dont acc need them. Ur just holding on
its just what i want because you became so used to it and endured it for so long
now delete all social (trust me on this one!)
Delete all social media for three months
Be sad. Be happy. Be angry. WHATEVER
And learn to love ur own company.
try not to go out with friends that much but stay occupied. But with urself
After these three months, u can get ur social media back and do ur normal things again with friends etc.
You have now learnt self love and how to be independent with ur own conpany
Ofc healing takes TIME. Theres will ofcourse be time where u WILL miss them and feel conflicted. But dont worry. DO NOT DOUBT URSELF
It’s completley normal. Just power through and carry on
Give urself 5minutes a day to sad if u have to, then move. You have to refuse to feel these negative emotions any longer.
Learn to put urself forward. Because u are worth it. Let someone discover that worth. Dont force it x
(edited 3 years ago)
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