my boyfriend is less attracted to me now because i have put on a little weight

my boyfriend is less attracted to me now because i have put on a little weight we have been together 3 years now and he has made me feel very insecure because of my weight he says hes less attracted to me what should i do? shouldn't he be attracted to me no matter what?? please help :frown:

btw im only a size 10-12uk

Reply 1

SophieSmall

21

People can't help what they're attracted to, it's unfortunate he's become less attracted to you now you've put on some weight. And while he may not have said it in the nicest way or he might now have approached the subject how you would have liked, he can't help what he finds attractive. If you were the same size as when you first got together and he suddenly wanted you to lose weight I'd say yeah it's a bit out of line, he is being silly he knew what size you were. But that's not the case he, you're the one who changed not him.

in a perfect world yes a partner would always find their partner attractive, but this isn't a perfect world and the majority of the time people need to have at least some attraction to feel happy in their relationship. Attraction is very important for some people, especially when it comes to intimacy. Attraction can grow stronger with time, but it can also fade. And that isn't necessarily anyone's fault.

If you're unhappy with the situation you need to talk to each-other and come to some sort of solution.

Reply 2

generalzod

Original post by alexsully

my boyfriend is less attracted to me now because i have put on a little weight we have been together 3 years now and he has made me feel very insecure because of my weight he says hes less attracted to me what should i do? shouldn't he be attracted to me no matter what?? please help :frown:

btw im only a size 10-12uk

You're only a size 10-12 :eek:

what was you before?

Seriously if your boyfriend has said he's less attracted to you now, because you have gained a little weight. Then you should kick him into touch sorry.

The question is are you happy with your body? I mean without his influence? Size 10-12 is considered very attractive to a lot of men out there and not obese.

As your boyfriend it shouldn't matter how big you are, it's what counts on the inside. There is men and women out there that have had severe 3rd degree burns to their faces. Yet their partners still love them, because it's who they are as a person that counts.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 3

BlindingLight

21

Post pictures of how you looked before and now to gauge if you look significantly different.

Reply 4

Pride

21

Original post by Lambert87

Really? That's your helpful opinion?

No wonder girls out there have weight disorders

Posted from TSR Mobile

On the other hand, it is a potential solution to the problem...

Reply 5

Lambert87

18

Original post by Pride

On the other hand, it is a potential solution to the problem...

I agree, but there is a better way to put things

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 6

liquidconfidence

16

Original post by alexsully

my boyfriend is less attracted to me now because i have put on a little weight we have been together 3 years now and he has made me feel very insecure because of my weight he says hes less attracted to me what should i do? shouldn't he be attracted to me no matter what?? please help :frown:

btw im only a size 10-12uk

I'm guessing your boyfriend likes them Anorexic :colonhash:

Reply 7

generalzod

Original post by Pride

On the other hand, it is a potential solution to the problem...

By pleasing the mind of a shallow person? No if she feels comfortable with how she looks and he doesn't like it. She should kick him out...

Reply 8

sleepysnooze

3

what constitutes "a little weight"? and how much were you before hand? if you were skinny as a rake, then surely "a little weight" isn't an issue? did you go from normal~ to chubby?

Reply 9

jazjaz

11

Original post by liquidconfidence

I'm guessing your boyfriend likes them Anorexic :colonhash:

How does being below a size 10 mean you are anorexic?

Reply 10

Mr Smurf

20

Original post by liquidconfidence

I'm guessing your boyfriend likes them Anorexic :colonhash:

Below size 8 isn't anorexic. I wouldn't even say it is skinny, just slim.

Reply 11

jazjaz

11

why and how did you put on weight OP? And how tall are you?

For example there is a big difference between being a 10-12 and 5'2" and being 5'10".

Reply 12

jazjaz

11

Original post by Mr Smurf

Below size 8 isn't anorexic. I wouldn't even say it is skinny, just slim.

Exactly.

Reply 13

alexsully

OP

5

I was a size 11-12kids clothes due to a medical condition I was very ill and now I'm getting better my body is gaining the weight I should have been.

Reply 14

alexsully

OP

5

And I'm 5'3 I'm the weight I should be for my height

Reply 15

Architecture-er

19

Original post by generalzod

By pleasing the mind of a shallow person? No if she feels comfortable with how she looks and he doesn't like it. She should kick him out...

And maybe you're trying to please the mind of a lazy person

I don't know how much the OP actually weighs and it sounds like her bf is merely trying to point it out early that he wouldn't be attracted if she kept putting on weight, to me

Personally overweight/inactive people are a big turn-off for me - afterall your body reflects who you are on the inside. So I'd see an athletic person next to a fat person, and I could safely judge that the athletic person is more active, more outgoing, more introspective, more likely to strive for self-improvement, is competitive, etc etc

Also if she feels comfortable with how she looks and he doesn't like it, it sounds like he'd be happy to leave of his own accord - so they part ways and are both the happier for it

Reply 16

generalzod

Original post by alexsully

And I'm 5'3 I'm the weight I should be for my height

If your the weight your suppose to be for your height and happy with the way you are. You shouldn't be criticized or made to feel bad by your boyfriend, because it doesn't fit his idea of happiness.

Reply 17

Proxenus

21

Original post by sleepysnooze

you gonna make me, punk? speak up

alright well im behind my screen and the keyboard is in front of me. i dont normally do this but i feel safer because there's no way you can come see me.

forgive me but

Spoiler

Reply 18