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Why is he acting like this??

Complicated situation so I'm going to try and keep it short!

There is a guy who I think began liking me about a year and a half ago! He used to try to sit near me and stare at me a lot yet he didn't talk to me ever but I got the distinct impression he liked me! (Lots more details which I wont go into) . At first I wasn't interested in him but as time went on I began to develop feeling for him which are now pretty strong! We see each other a couple of times a week and everything we see each other we have such intense eye contact and he smiles at me yet he doesn't ever try to approach! I know that he is quite shy so I decided to strike up a conversation online but it didn't really go anywhere!

What I want to know is guys if you were having that level of eye contact with a girl would it be because you liked her? Would you not surely have approached me after all this time if he was interested? And if you don't think he is interested why does he stare at me and how do I get over him? And if you think he is interested any ideas for a next move?

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Reply 1
Anyone??
Good eye contact generally indicates confidence, interest, being comfortable with that person etc It's usually a sign of having good social skills and having a genuine interest in the person you're conversing with in terms of what they're actually saying.
Maybe he is waiting for the 'right time' which hasn't appeared to have come yet.

Or after a while he gave up, but you sending him some signals gave him hope again?

Approach him, say hi, see what happens. :h:
Reply 4
Go ahead and give stalkers a further confidence boost.
Reply 5
Original post by SeanFM
Maybe he is waiting for the 'right time' which hasn't appeared to have come yet.

Or after a while he gave up, but you sending him some signals gave him hope again?

Approach him, say hi, see what happens. :h:


I want to talk to him but I feel like he is scared of me! I think we are both attracted to each other but both kinda terrified of our feelings and what it means! Would he not have asked me out by now though if he genuinely liked me?
Original post by Anonymous
I want to talk to him but I feel like he is scared of me! I think we are both attracted to each other but both kinda terrified of our feelings and what it means! Would he not have asked me out by now though if he genuinely liked me?


If he gives you "intense" eye contact and smiles at you, then I don't think that he is scared of you. :h:

And not necessarily. He could have no clue if you feel the same way as he might do, or not sure what to say etc so just make the first move and see what happens. :borat:
Reply 7
Original post by SeanFM
If he gives you "intense" eye contact and smiles at you, then I don't think that he is scared of you. :h:

And not necessarily. He could have no clue if you feel the same way as he might do, or not sure what to say etc so just make the first move and see what happens. :borat:


I don't necesarily mean scared of me exactly but more of our situation! I tried messaging him but I didn't get much conversation just an answer about the uni work I asked about! I get the feeling he doesn't know what to say with me and doesn't know how to act near me!
Reply 8
Anyone else? Guys why would you look deeply into a girls eyes?
Original post by Anonymous
Anyone else? Guys why would you look deeply into a girls eyes?


He's just playing hard to get.
How are you developing feelings for him without even talking to him?
Original post by Anonymous
Complicated situation so I'm going to try and keep it short!

There is a guy who I think began liking me about a year and a half ago! He used to try to sit near me and stare at me a lot yet he didn't talk to me ever but I got the distinct impression he liked me! (Lots more details which I wont go into) . At first I wasn't interested in him but as time went on I began to develop feeling for him which are now pretty strong! We see each other a couple of times a week and everything we see each other we have such intense eye contact and he smiles at me yet he doesn't ever try to approach! I know that he is quite shy so I decided to strike up a conversation online but it didn't really go anywhere!

What I want to know is guys if you were having that level of eye contact with a girl would it be because you liked her? Would you not surely have approached me after all this time if he was interested? And if you don't think he is interested why does he stare at me and how do I get over him? And if you think he is interested any ideas for a next move?


I'm a pretty shy guy personally. I'm completely comfortable talking to a girl and flirting with her, however I'm not very comfortable going much further than that. So maybe he hasn't made an advancement for that reason. To me, eye contact doesn't really mean much in terms of whether I am attracted to you or not, it just means I don't feel uncomfortable in your presence.

I wouldn't take the online conversation to heart, there could be numerous reasons behind that. You could just be more direct with him I guess. Some people like myself are completely oblivious to advances. You also may just not click with each other. Just try to start a few more conversations or activities with him, if he doesn't respond very well, I doubt you're compatible anyway.

I've never been in a relationship so I could just be waffling, however this is just my two cents. Hope it helped and good luck! :smile:
Original post by Zenarthra
He's just playing hard to get.
How are you developing feelings for him without even talking to him?

Why would he be playing hard to get though when this has been going on for a year and a half! I'll admit most of my feelings are based off physical attraction and things I know about him! I would say that what I feel is a very strong crush! Also when someone constantly looks into your eyes you can't help but feel something for them!
Original post by Anonymous
What I want to know is guys if you were having that level of eye contact with a girl would it be because you liked her? Would you not surely have approached me after all this time if he was interested? And if you don't think he is interested why does he stare at me and how do I get over him? And if you think he is interested any ideas for a next move?


I would have done in his shoes. - He should do too - it's odd why he hasn't.

Original post by Anonymous
And if you don't think he is interested why does he stare at me and how do I get over him?


Is there really that much to get over??
Original post by fr0sr_
I would have done in his shoes. - He should do too - it's odd why he hasn't.



Is there really that much to get over??

Well I feel like there is something to get over! I've got a massive crush on him and have had for a long time which is making it difficult to forget about especially when he continues this eye contact game every day!
Original post by Anonymous
Complicated situation so I'm going to try and keep it short!

There is a guy who I think began liking me about a year and a half ago! He used to try to sit near me and stare at me a lot yet he didn't talk to me ever but I got the distinct impression he liked me! (Lots more details which I wont go into) . At first I wasn't interested in him but as time went on I began to develop feeling for him which are now pretty strong! We see each other a couple of times a week and everything we see each other we have such intense eye contact and he smiles at me yet he doesn't ever try to approach! I know that he is quite shy so I decided to strike up a conversation online but it didn't really go anywhere!

What I want to know is guys if you were having that level of eye contact with a girl would it be because you liked her? Would you not surely have approached me after all this time if he was interested? And if you don't think he is interested why does he stare at me and how do I get over him? And if you think he is interested any ideas for a next move?


It definitely sounds like he likes you, what you need to know is.. GUYS ARE AWKWARD. When we like a girl we get shy and lose the ability to speak (not literally of course, but it becomes a lot harder)

I NEVER acted upon the crushes I had in school because I was so scared of rejection and that they wouldn't feel the same way. This guy probably likes you a lot but is so nervous/anxious to approach you. So please, as the guy that's been in his situation, let him know you like him too. Maybe approach him and start talking? Guys just sometimes need the green light before they act on it.

Now I know this isn't the usual way things go and guys should make the first move, ect, but we live in a society where speaking to girls is a big deal and not as normal as it should be. Give him a little push in the right direction and I'm sure things will work out.

Good Luck!
Original post by Lucarious30
It definitely sounds like he likes you, what you need to know is.. GUYS ARE AWKWARD. When we like a girl we get shy and lose the ability to speak (not literally of course, but it becomes a lot harder)

I NEVER acted upon the crushes I had in school because I was so scared of rejection and that they wouldn't feel the same way. This guy probably likes you a lot but is so nervous/anxious to approach you. So please, as the guy that's been in his situation, let him know you like him too. Maybe approach him and start talking? Guys just sometimes need the green light before they act on it.

Now I know this isn't the usual way things go and guys should make the first move, ect, but we live in a society where speaking to girls is a big deal and not as normal as it should be. Give him a little push in the right direction and I'm sure things will work out.

Good Luck!


Thank you for your reply! I tried to make an effort by messaging him but it didn't really develop things any further! I do really like him and I think he probably likes me but I don't know what to say to him I'm really shy too! What would you want a girl to say / do in this situation?
Reply 16
He is weird. He maintain eye contact yet dont talk to you. Just wait I guess.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your reply! I tried to make an effort by messaging him but it didn't really develop things any further! I do really like him and I think he probably likes me but I don't know what to say to him I'm really shy too! What would you want a girl to say / do in this situation?


Honestly, shy people are my favourite people, but the problem with two shy people is nobody wants to make the first move haha!
(I'm also now sat at work thinking of what I would want a shy girl to say to me)

The thing is, you don't want to do all of the work, you just want to show you're interested. It's like planting a seed and he needs to help it grow (or the other way round)

Maybe you could plant the seed by offering him a compliment and seeing how he reacts? (e.g. I like the shirt you wore today, I love the colour of your eyes!) whatever you like about him really. Hopefully, he will compliment you back, or if he's REALLY nervous and doesn't know how to speak to girls he may not even know how to react and just say 'thanks'.

Try this over message or next time you see him and update me on how it goes - good luck!:smile:
Original post by ellej93
He is weird. He maintain eye contact yet dont talk to you. Just wait I guess.


I don't want to wait much longer though this has been going on for a year and a half! I just want to know if my conclusion that he Is interested in me is correct and what I should do about it? I don't want to look stupid!
Original post by Lucarious30
Honestly, shy people are my favourite people, but the problem with two shy people is nobody wants to make the first move haha!
(I'm also now sat at work thinking of what I would want a shy girl to say to me)

The thing is, you don't want to do all of the work, you just want to show you're interested. It's like planting a seed and he needs to help it grow (or the other way round)

Maybe you could plant the seed by offering him a compliment and seeing how he reacts? (e.g. I like the shirt you wore today, I love the colour of your eyes!) whatever you like about him really. Hopefully, he will compliment you back, or if he's REALLY nervous and doesn't know how to speak to girls he may not even know how to react and just say 'thanks'.

Try this over message or next time you see him and update me on how it goes - good luck!:smile:


I surely can't just compliment him totally randomly he'll think I'm a complete creep! :/ I would message him again if I had something to say or thought that he would actually have a conversation with me!

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