Is this unfair for me or should I be understanding?

Hey guys,

Sorry this might be a bit long!

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Last year October, we had to break up because of his parents forcing him and deciding things for him so we didn't have a choice even though we love each other alot.

In December, I started receiving texts from him again after a month of silence, with him saying that he can't move on and he still can't stop thinking of me and that he wants to talk in January. We got back together in January after he said he wouldn't let his parents control him.

Since he came back, he's been acting a little strange. He used to call me everyday and we used to text alot and tell each other everything and we were so close. But now, he hardly ever texts or whenever he calls, its only for 5-10 minutes and thats it. I told him that I noticed he changed alot after he came back in January, he said that he just wants to take it slow and he wants something real with me and he doesn't want sex as it can wait. I just feel his attitude has changed so much as before he used to be really flirty with me and even calling me alot to share things with me.

A week ago, he finally told me what happened in November. It was when we broke up and he said he was in a really bad place so he met a girl and they had sex. He found out that she had a boyfriend and that she was only wanting sex from him thats all, so after he realised it, he didn't talk to her anymore.

After hearing about this from him, I understand now why when he came back in January and was acting strange saying he wants to take things slow and he needs time which I was so confused about considering we've been so close in the past.

Is it because of what he went through with this girl that he was only used for sex thats why now when he came back to me, he talk about he needs time and we should take it slow and that he understands sex isn't everything, when I don't even bring up anything about sex, which I find very weird why he would say that. This makes me think what he went through really affected him.

It's also very unfair that I need to deal with what he is going through because of some girl who used him for sex. We were so close and doing so well together before so why should I take slow and give him time, why should I do that when that was his decision about what he did in November with that person who hurt him and gave him trauma.

"...he was in a really bad place so he met a girl and they had sex." The way you phrase it, it seems to be 50:50 and your boyfriend used this girl for sex as much as she used him. Was she a ONS or was he (genuinely or misguidedly) expecting a relationship with her? And did he have safe sex?

After 3 years together and only a short time apart there should be no need to take it slow; you should be able to pick up pretty much where you left off. Ask him directly why he can't do that.