Friends leaving me out
So my group of "friends" are continuously going out without me, and lying about it when I confront them. They post pictures of them all together all over social media so I know they're lying 
This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.
This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.
I knew this feeling once.
They are NOT your friends. Let me just be clear with you. A friendship group is all inclusive and leaves nobody out. If you're left out, then you're not in their friendship group and they are not your friends.
I advice you just try and find a new group with common interests that won't leave you out.
They are NOT your friends. Let me just be clear with you. A friendship group is all inclusive and leaves nobody out. If you're left out, then you're not in their friendship group and they are not your friends.
I advice you just try and find a new group with common interests that won't leave you out.
Original post by Anonymous
So my group of "friends" are continuously going out without me, and lying about it when I confront them. They post pictures of them all together all over social media so I know they're lying This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.
This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.This begs the question, why are they still your friends?
you said yourself "friends" which implies they're not really your friends, and they lie about it aswell, not really the traits of a good friends is it?
nothing you can do, find better friends seriously. herd mentality is a strong thing and once one person goes so do the rest usually go aswell.
good let past experiences go and allow your fresh start to make new friends in life and start again.
1st of all- true friends wouldn't ditch their friend so all I have to say is that they are fake as **** and you should leave them(unless there are some that generally care about you, which is unlikely).
Plus, you are in Year 11 so the best place to have fun in summer is NCS!!!!!!! You meet some really nice people, (I'm meeting up with some people after my AS exams and my NCS group still talk and we are going to meet up with each other). This is a great place to be to meet some amazing people who might not got to your school, you should apply(1st week is some residential place, like I went Wales it was honestly so ****, but I bonded with my group so well in the first week).
I hope your friends eat my stinking ****! I hope you meet some great people who aren't linked to your shitty fake friends.
Plus, you are in Year 11 so the best place to have fun in summer is NCS!!!!!!! You meet some really nice people, (I'm meeting up with some people after my AS exams and my NCS group still talk and we are going to meet up with each other). This is a great place to be to meet some amazing people who might not got to your school, you should apply(1st week is some residential place, like I went Wales it was honestly so ****, but I bonded with my group so well in the first week).
I hope your friends eat my stinking ****! I hope you meet some great people who aren't linked to your shitty fake friends.
Original post by Defraction
1st of all- true friends wouldn't ditch their friend so all I have to say is that they are fake as **** and you should leave them(unless there are some that generally care about you, which is unlikely).
Plus, you are in Year 11 so the best place to have fun in summer is NCS!!!!!!! You meet some really nice people, (I'm meeting up with some people after my AS exams and my NCS group still talk and we are going to meet up with each other). This is a great place to be to meet some amazing people who might not got to your school, you should apply(1st week is some residential place, like I went Wales it was honestly so ****, but I bonded with my group so well in the first week).
I hope your friends eat my stinking ****! I hope you meet some great people who aren't linked to your shitty fake friends.
Plus, you are in Year 11 so the best place to have fun in summer is NCS!!!!!!! You meet some really nice people, (I'm meeting up with some people after my AS exams and my NCS group still talk and we are going to meet up with each other). This is a great place to be to meet some amazing people who might not got to your school, you should apply(1st week is some residential place, like I went Wales it was honestly so ****, but I bonded with my group so well in the first week).
I hope your friends eat my stinking ****! I hope you meet some great people who aren't linked to your shitty fake friends.
Since I've left it so late, i'll more than likely get put on a team with nobody I know, right?
Ok listen to me, love. I've had plenty of friendships and they usually end up ugly but you know what, you will realise that you never needed them ok? I recommend getting as much work experience you can, volunteer everywhere, read as many books as you can, go for a change in appearance (short hair? Another hair colour?A piercing). Focus on yourself and you'll be so much happier. Make some friends on here, I don't go out in general but I'm never bored because I always do things like revise, go on youtube, draw or dance. There is so much this world has to offer you and you can look beyond your "petty" friends to get there.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
So my group of "friends" are continuously going out without me, and lying about it when I confront them. They post pictures of them all together all over social media so I know they're lying This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.
This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.Give it one last try but this time confront them all at the same time as a group and explain your sorry for whatever you've done to upset them and ask if you can all start again. Tell them you see their pictures on social media and when they lie to you about going out without you that hurts you. Ask how would they feel if friends did that to them. Maybe not everyone wants to leave you out but their too scared to stand up for you because they fear they will get the same treatment so because you told them all individually and it did not work you must confront them all together at the same time. Tell them in a nice way that if they have any problems with you to be honest and tell you now so you can clear the air and start fresh.
If they plan to go somewhere and your left out again just try to find out where it is and just turn up and follow them, if they ignore you and walk away just continue to follow them to piss them off and spoil their night out then they have no choice but to include you or youll know for sure their no good, useless bums and you were better off without them. Noone needs friendswho treat them like that.
If none of these things work then **** them because at least you know you tried and you know now that they were never really your friends to begin with because real friends always forgive each other and do not treat others in that way
Try to find new friends although that is easier said than done but thats your only option if everything else has failed.
What is it you've done that they have an issue with?
Original post by Anonymous
Since I've left it so late, i'll more than likely get put on a team with nobody I know, right?
It's a great experience either way. I ended up being with 2 boys I knew from school- 1 of them I had a bad impression of him because he made my friend cry and the other guy I didn't talk to them. But we are really good friends, my NCS group are hoping to meet up after our exams even though it's been nearly a year since we met. It's a great experience to make new friends like my group we went out every single week since we met. You end up making friends with amazing people and people you have not even seen before.
It's a great experience I think you should apply!
Original post by Little Popcorns
What is it you've done that they have an issue with?
They started to penalize me for every little thing I did or said wrong, which I was able to handle at first but eventually it got a bit tiring. So eventually I called them out and said I didn't like the way I was being treated, and in response they excluded me from plans because my "attitude was bad" and I was "just trying to make them feel guilty". Naturally I got pretty mad about this and consulted members of the group and told them how I was feeling and asked why they wouldn't stick up for me, and apparently being confrontational about the problem and asking an innocent question is "guilt tripping" according to other members of the group. As an update I approached the people who had the biggest problem with me, apologized for anything i'd done to them and asked to dissolve the tension. In response, they kicked me from the group chat (may I add without asking anybody else in the group), and proceeded to block me.
It seems relatively childish on their part and to be honest I couldn't care less about those individuals, the only issue I have is that I no longer have easy access to spending time with the rest of them who don't have a direct issue with me.
Original post by Anonymous
They started to penalize me for every little thing I did or said wrong, which I was able to handle at first but eventually it got a bit tiring. So eventually I called them out and said I didn't like the way I was being treated, and in response they excluded me from plans because my "attitude was bad" and I was "just trying to make them feel guilty". Naturally I got pretty mad about this and consulted members of the group and told them how I was feeling and asked why they wouldn't stick up for me, and apparently being confrontational about the problem and asking an innocent question is "guilt tripping" according to other members of the group. As an update I approached the people who had the biggest problem with me, apologized for anything i'd done to them and asked to dissolve the tension. In response, they kicked me from the group chat (may I add without asking anybody else in the group), and proceeded to block me.
It seems relatively childish on their part and to be honest I couldn't care less about those individuals, the only issue I have is that I no longer have easy access to spending time with the rest of them who don't have a direct issue with me.
It seems relatively childish on their part and to be honest I couldn't care less about those individuals, the only issue I have is that I no longer have easy access to spending time with the rest of them who don't have a direct issue with me.
Original post by Anonymous
So my group of "friends" are continuously going out without me, and lying about it when I confront them. They post pictures of them all together all over social media so I know they're lying This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.
This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.you're young, so you will meet new people and make new friends
I know its hard now but dont let them get you down, just move on and forget about them. Youll look back in a few years and realise you deserved better friends. over the summer you could try volunteering or taking up a new hobby, if you search on google youll be sure to find lots of things. itll be scary at first going to things by yourself but youll meet new people with things in common with you.
friendships come and go, all you can do is learn lessons from them and grow as a person
Original post by Anonymous
So my group of "friends" are continuously going out without me, and lying about it when I confront them. They post pictures of them all together all over social media so I know they're lying This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.
This leaves me pretty alone over the summer because most of my friendships lie within the group.I know what the issue is, a few of them have a problem with me which I have tried to resolve in a calm manner but they don't seem to want to embrace it. This means the rest of the group to leave me out so the people who dislike me won't get upset, but as you can see this has resulted in me being alone.I'm going to a new Sixth Form i September as I've just finished Year 11, so this will be a fresh start for me. However, I'm not sure how I should tackle summer as aside from getting a job and working, there isn't much I can do. Does anyone have any tips on how I can resolve this? I have tried to confront them all individually to no avail.Maybe you should apply for ncs where you do activities and meet new friends and be in a group away from your local area and somewhere outside in the countryside. It's happening this summer so you should apply. And as for them there's no point trying to resolve it with them. There is no need for you to give an explanation to them. Forget them and move on. I'm sure you'll make good friends in the future. Have fun this summer and let it gooooo.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
They started to penalize me for every little thing I did or said wrong, which I was able to handle at first but eventually it got a bit tiring. So eventually I called them out and said I didn't like the way I was being treated, and in response they excluded me from plans because my "attitude was bad" and I was "just trying to make them feel guilty". Naturally I got pretty mad about this and consulted members of the group and told them how I was feeling and asked why they wouldn't stick up for me, and apparently being confrontational about the problem and asking an innocent question is "guilt tripping" according to other members of the group. As an update I approached the people who had the biggest problem with me, apologized for anything i'd done to them and asked to dissolve the tension. In response, they kicked me from the group chat (may I add without asking anybody else in the group), and proceeded to block me.
It seems relatively childish on their part and to be honest I couldn't care less about those individuals, the only issue I have is that I no longer have easy access to spending time with the rest of them who don't have a direct issue with me.
It seems relatively childish on their part and to be honest I couldn't care less about those individuals, the only issue I have is that I no longer have easy access to spending time with the rest of them who don't have a direct issue with me.
They sound absolutely awful. Your much better off without them but at least you know you tried to resolve it and it didnt work so you cant regret anything.
Its their loss they sound like idiots anyway. You will make much better friends so volunteering is a good way to make new friends and all the other suggestions other people told you to try
Move on. Real friends are not like that. Better be alone than with people that make you feel that way.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I was in the same position as you when I was at school. When I was 15 my family moved to a new area and I had to leave my old friends and go to a new school very abruptly. When I started at the new school I made friends with two girls (referring to them as A and B)who were in a clique of friends with these two other girls (C and D) and had been for a very long time. C and D, especially 'C' who was the leader of the group didn't like me at all for no/stupid reason and were upset that I was disrupting the 'balance' of their friendship group and interested in being close friends with A and B as according to C - girls A B and D were her best friends only and she was very possessive and controlling over the group.
The group of girls always did things together but never invited me despite A and B being the nicest to me because C and D weren't having it and hated me. Whenever we hung out at school, C and D would make comments to me like 'why are you always here?' and 'find your own friends' whilst laughing them off as jokes. When we had lessons, if I was in a class with girl C or D they wouldn't associate with me at all, and I would only be hanging out with them if girls A/B were present with them. They also all gave each other birthday and Christmas presents but I never got a single present or card from them.
In short, I was only a follower and they never saw me as a real friend or friend worth keeping despite A and B being nice to me. It took me until I left school and none of the girls contacted me ever again yet still hang out together as a group to see that these girls never saw me as a close friend at all but merely a tag along. A and B were closer to being friends with me but it seemed like they were scared of upsetting C and D by inviting me out, including me, sticking up for me against them and not treating me like I'm invisible as C and D were quite manipulative. The fact that they never did showed me that even they weren't real friends to me. But then I went to uni, met tons of new people, started work after graduation last year and I have found through uni and work loads of wonderful new friends who don't treat me like crap. So I would say hang in there. Ditch these 'friends' as it's better to be alone than to hang around with fake friends and users and focus on making new friendships. It will get better.
The group of girls always did things together but never invited me despite A and B being the nicest to me because C and D weren't having it and hated me. Whenever we hung out at school, C and D would make comments to me like 'why are you always here?' and 'find your own friends' whilst laughing them off as jokes. When we had lessons, if I was in a class with girl C or D they wouldn't associate with me at all, and I would only be hanging out with them if girls A/B were present with them. They also all gave each other birthday and Christmas presents but I never got a single present or card from them.
In short, I was only a follower and they never saw me as a real friend or friend worth keeping despite A and B being nice to me. It took me until I left school and none of the girls contacted me ever again yet still hang out together as a group to see that these girls never saw me as a close friend at all but merely a tag along. A and B were closer to being friends with me but it seemed like they were scared of upsetting C and D by inviting me out, including me, sticking up for me against them and not treating me like I'm invisible as C and D were quite manipulative. The fact that they never did showed me that even they weren't real friends to me. But then I went to uni, met tons of new people, started work after graduation last year and I have found through uni and work loads of wonderful new friends who don't treat me like crap. So I would say hang in there. Ditch these 'friends' as it's better to be alone than to hang around with fake friends and users and focus on making new friendships. It will get better.
Original post by Mrs.Grey
Ok listen to me, love. I've had plenty of friendships and they usually end up ugly but you know what, you will realise that you never needed them ok? I recommend getting as much work experience you can, volunteer everywhere, read as many books as you can, go for a change in appearance (short hair? Another hair colour?A piercing). Focus on yourself and you'll be so much happier. Make some friends on here, I don't go out in general but I'm never bored because I always do things like revise, go on youtube, draw or dance. There is so much this world has to offer you and you can look beyond your "petty" friends to get there.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
^^^^
This.
They are not your friends. I had some "friends" like this a few years ago, who eventually ended up leaving me due to drama happening in our "friendship group". And, honestly, looking back on the years when I thought that they were still my friends - I'm honestly amazed that I didn't try to escape sooner. True friends don't treat you like that. Try and find some better friends, ditch these fake ones. And try to become the best version of yourself.
Ur going sixth form so u can soon leave those ****y fake friends.damn I feel like beating them up,if I knew them.who would do that.I honestly hate ppl like that.
Anyway,not to worry.we are always there as ur friends on TSR
Anyway,not to worry.we are always there as ur friends on TSR
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- what should i do
- My bf gets angry very easily
- how can I move to a friend's house at 16
- Friendship issues
- Do I leave college to focus on distance learning?
- How do I get out of a Trio as the third wheel?
- Uncomfortable with guy kissing me in the club
- Trio friendship groups
- I think I’ve been ‘friend-zoned’ …
- mixed signals
- Am i a red flag, am i the problem?
- Why do majority of my friends leave me on delivered for hours/days?
- I found out my best friend is still friends with people who turned against me.
- Was I wrong
- Is She A True Friend?
- i dont know how to cope anymore
- long thread - i messed up with a girl i like
- I want to move out for university..but strict parents & social anxiety
- I want to drop out of my second year uni house
- Am I in the wrong to feel annoyed at my friend? Please reply
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?
