Calorie deficit is not working

Unfortunately it's a long term thing with him being away. The school had to stop breakfast club due to Covid and it doesn't exist at all in Year 3. I could try eating at the same time as her. I eat as soon as I get in because I can get it done within 5 minutes. I literally take it out of the fridge and eat. I'm just worried about taking too much time. I am struggling to cope with it all.

That is hard. I would think seriously about eating with your daughter. You don't want her to pick up on vibes around dieting/eating issues - it was something I was really conscious of with mine when she was little. Make it a joint activity - where appropriate - so you can have some fun together.

Reply 41

HorribleHatty

13

There’s a few things going on here.

On the food - I think you’re underestimating what you’re eating. Have you counted every bite, every drop of oil, every spoon you taste while cooking? Are you weighing your food? I can tell you’re over the carb count just on what you’ve listed but calories depend so much on the actual weights and cooking methods etc.

On the time - you’re wasting a lot of it. Why are you getting up an hour and a half before you leave? Why are you spending so long making breakfast when you meal prep the night before? When are you walking the dog? When does your daughter exercise? Why are you doing work admin in the evening? Why is there homework as well as additional literacy work with your daughter every night?

For reference I got up at 0710ish, showered, got ready, got my son ready, had a coffee, made my lunch, left the house at 07:50. I’ll get home at 17:30ish, make the boy some food, chat while he eats. Probably go for a walk afterwards. Home for 1840 in time for bath, story, bed. Then I have my dinner and relax until bedtime. The proper cleaning gets done on the weekend. I always get my 10,000 steps. Work happens at work unless it’s really urgent.

Anyway - you can’t be everything to everyone. You can’t be a successful career woman and the sole homemaker, and a wonderful mother, and a student, and have time to have a healthy mind and body. You’re one person. Ditch the MPhil until your daughter is more self-sufficient. You’re no role model while you’re running yourself into the ground.

Reply 42

Gym Bunny

OP

13

Original post by ReadingMum

That is hard. I would think seriously about eating with your daughter. You don't want her to pick up on vibes around dieting/eating issues - it was something I was really conscious of with mine when she was little. Make it a joint activity - where appropriate - so you can have some fun together.

That's a huge worry for me. My Mum used to be obsessed with the latest fad diet and made comments about my weight when I was a teenager.

@HorribleHatty you are right, I probably do need to get better at time management. I get up early because my daughter takes ages to eat and I sit with her to make sure that she eats her breakfast otherwise it won't get done on time. We had a 40 minute commute to her school, so we have to leave early. My Mum walks the dog. I use MyFitnessPal to track my food, but I suspect that I'm probably not doing it properly. I try to avoid oils where possible, like boiling instead. But if I do use oil, then I'll use the 1cal spray. I make sure I weigh all my potatoes, pasta etc. but I don't tend to weigh vegetables or protein (like I will just use one fish filet or turkey breast).

Reply 43

Zerforax

21

Original post by Gym Bunny

I would really like to speak to a private doctor as my GP is awful. When I do manage to get an appointment, I constantly get fobbed off. I used to be on metformin but then there was so research change and they stopped prescribing it for PCOS. I take Levothyroxine for the hypothyroidism but that took nearly 18 months before they would even test my blood and kept saying it was just depression and that I live a busy life. I'm acutely conscious that being overweight puts pressure on my heart and circulatory system which impedes my health, so I don't understand why they won't let me talk to an endocrinologist or dietician which would help me lose weight and benefit my health.
Before I had a family and full time job, I used to love the gym (hence my username) but now life has changed significantly and I work in an office with no time to train. I have a great job but I hate what my body has become and it's immensely frustrating.

You tend not to get private GPs. If you have private medical insurance (sometimes a work benefit if you have a higher paying job) then usually you get a referral from your GP and then the insurers let you use the specialists (after paying the excess). Worth checking if you have.

I presume your GP practice has more than one GP? Ask to speak to a female doctor. There is way less research done into conditions which affect women only and therefore PCOS and insulin resistance is often ignored/misdiagnoised.

You won't get any useful information from this thread on this site as most are younger users, even fewer are women and even less have PCOS/know what it is. Think you need to do more targetted research.

The NHS is underfunded so doctors always deal with those that seem in most urgent need of care. Often you will get one test, have to wait ages for results, find out not correct and repeat - which is why you get so long delays.

Reply 44

KA_P

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

20

@Gym Bunny

We're not allowed to give medical advice here on TSR. I recommend having another chat with your GP after writing down a list of your biggest concerns. After this, if you feel like you don't feel reassured, then it might be best to ask to get referred to another GP or a specialist in the NHS, perhaps in a worst case scenario move GP practice?

Are you able to ask for a short break from your studies? You must be so exhausted and drained. We really can't help you much more on here other than give you a listening ear. At the end of the day, you need to make these decisions and ensure you're basing them off reliable sources such as medical specialists that are able to give you a proper objective examination and therefore unbiased advice.

Give yourself a well-deserved break and please do take care of yourself.

Reply 45

Ellie_thomas

6

I think you need to reassess how much you've taken on.

If you want to be a good role model to your daughter (and I'm sure you're doing your damn best!), think about what she's seeing now: mum doesn't eat dinner with her, is always tired, always stressed, sleep-deprived and deeply unhappy with herself. Sure, she is going to see you working hard - but do you want her to aspire to be a workaholic, or aspire to be happy and healthy just like mum?

Of course what you're doing right now is important, but you're going to have to free up some time to prioritise your health. If you carry on like this, you're going to burnout.

See another doctor. Explain your concerns. Alternatively, find a dietician/nutritionist/trainer who can help you work through this. Ideally someone with experience of one or both of your health concerns.

Myfitnesspal is great, but I am concerned your calories are incorrectly tracked and too low. The average woman needs 1200 just to survive. If you are really eating 750, you could be doing horrendous harm to your body and you are likely putting yourself at risk of malnutrition. If you are eating that few and start losing weight, you may well lose hair and teeth too which I'm certain you don't want.

> and as a side note, as a teacher I would combine the homework/literacy together. Don't spend too much time after school studying. She needs to have some fun/pursue other things. Yes, literacy is important but how much homework can she possibly have at her age?

Reply 46

Gym Bunny

OP

13

Thank you to everyone who has offered advice and gentle encouragement. I'm trying my best to be everything I need to be and I am struggling.
I'm not going to reply anymore, simply because I'm struggling to not cry at my desk. But I really appreciate everyone who took the time to respond.

Reply 47

04MR17

Volunteer Section Leader

22

Original post by Gym Bunny

I have PCOS and hypothyroidism, so losing weight is really hard. I have absolutely no opportunity to exercise during the day, so I have to rely on my diet to control my weight. My PCOS causes insulin resistance and hypothyroidism drastically reduces my BMR. My doctor won't do anything and has been utterly useless when I've tried to talk to him about it.

I have gradually lowered my calorie intake to 750 and try to keep my carb intake below 30g. I like to eat as clean as possible, so no refined sugar, no dairy (allergy), not much meat and cook vegetable based dishes from scratch.

My daily diet is:
0600hrs - tea with oat milk
0800hrs - protein shake made with water
0950hrs - black coffee
1000hrs - broccoli and white fish
1230hrs - salad with a protein, no dressing
1400hrs - greek coffee and a couple of dates
1700hrs - zoodles and a protein (turkey breast or fish)

But despite reducing my calorie intake, reducing complex carbs and sugar, I am not losing any weight. I am always tired, skin looks awful and my mental health is rock bottom.

I am so sick of hearing that all it takes is a calorie deficit, when I am trying my hardest to reduce my calorie intake and it's still not working.

I suggest you ask the GP to refer you to a dietician.

I would also advise including fruit in your diet where possible.

Reply 48

stickylikehoney

16

Original post by Gym Bunny

I have PCOS and hypothyroidism, so losing weight is really hard. I have absolutely no opportunity to exercise during the day, so I have to rely on my diet to control my weight. My PCOS causes insulin resistance and hypothyroidism drastically reduces my BMR. My doctor won't do anything and has been utterly useless when I've tried to talk to him about it.

I have gradually lowered my calorie intake to 750 and try to keep my carb intake below 30g. I like to eat as clean as possible, so no refined sugar, no dairy (allergy), not much meat and cook vegetable based dishes from scratch.

My daily diet is:
0600hrs - tea with oat milk
0800hrs - protein shake made with water
0950hrs - black coffee
1000hrs - broccoli and white fish
1230hrs - salad with a protein, no dressing
1400hrs - greek coffee and a couple of dates
1700hrs - zoodles and a protein (turkey breast or fish)

But despite reducing my calorie intake, reducing complex carbs and sugar, I am not losing any weight. I am always tired, skin looks awful and my mental health is rock bottom.

I am so sick of hearing that all it takes is a calorie deficit, when I am trying my hardest to reduce my calorie intake and it's still not working.

Hi,
I have PCOS as well and I've had a mild eating disorder cos of it since ive been about 15 (I'm 31)
I put on weight in lockdown and lost about a stone and a half in ten months from going to the gym and eating healthier. I think now I'm about 2kg overweight. I usually only eat about 1000 cals a day. I feel hungry and unhappy and don't know what to do. I think with pcos most people can lose weight but you have to be very strict and patient :frown:

I skip meals often and dont have a great relationship with food. Don't know what to do as it seems the only way I seem to be able to maintain a healthy weight is by starving :frown:

even though its much harder I think you have to be patient and keep at it, I felt like throwing in the towel so many times and thinking "pcos makes being slim such a nightmare, maybe I should just give up and eat nice food and just be a stone overweight" but ive persisted and I can deffo see my body looks more slim and toned than it was even though I have a bit of podge, I'm not perfect. but im getting there. keep going

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 49

theroseinblake

7

Original post by Gym Bunny

I have PCOS and hypothyroidism, so losing weight is really hard. I have absolutely no opportunity to exercise during the day, so I have to rely on my diet to control my weight. My PCOS causes insulin resistance and hypothyroidism drastically reduces my BMR. My doctor won't do anything and has been utterly useless when I've tried to talk to him about it.

I have gradually lowered my calorie intake to 750 and try to keep my carb intake below 30g. I like to eat as clean as possible, so no refined sugar, no dairy (allergy), not much meat and cook vegetable based dishes from scratch.

My daily diet is:
0600hrs - tea with oat milk
0800hrs - protein shake made with water
0950hrs - black coffee
1000hrs - broccoli and white fish
1230hrs - salad with a protein, no dressing
1400hrs - greek coffee and a couple of dates
1700hrs - zoodles and a protein (turkey breast or fish)

But despite reducing my calorie intake, reducing complex carbs and sugar, I am not losing any weight. I am always tired, skin looks awful and my mental health is rock bottom.

I am so sick of hearing that all it takes is a calorie deficit, when I am trying my hardest to reduce my calorie intake and it's still not working.

A intake of 750 is not nearly enough and is likely to be the reason why you're not losing weight because you're practically starving yourself. Your body goes into survival mode where it will hold onto the fat in order to survive (as a way of insulation) because you no longer have enough energy to maintain homeostasis (your average body temperature). The advice I'd give is go back to the doctors, start eating more again (protein is significantly important for fat loss) and focus on your physical as well as emotional well-being.

Reply 50

Dnsnnssn

17

Original post by Gym Bunny

It's the 24 hour clock, it's a standard form of time.
How am I not a good role model? She needs to see a working woman who can be married and have children rather than being a mother and housekeeper like everyone else in her family. I didn't have a role model to look up to, all that was expected from me was to get married and have children. She needs to see that women can have it all, just like men.
I'm hardly spitting in anybody's faces, do you not think that I have tried many things that have been suggested? I am at the end of my tether, utterly fed up and miserable. I was hoping for suggestions of things that I haven't tried and fresh ideas on what to do.