Relationship advice?
I apologise in advance if this is a long one but I'd really just like some advice on what people think I should do in this situation.
So I've spent the last few years of my life in my first proper relationship with a girl (I too am female), and during that time completed the whole of college, got a job, and moved to uni with her.
Now, things were going well up until christmas 2022 when I decided it was best for me to drop out of uni. This is where the relationship started to get ropey but I was willing to work through it. So I moved back home and got my old hours back at my job.
I have two very close male friends at my job. I see them both frequently outside of work and they are the only friends I had outside of my uni time. But anyway, the straight friend always comes round mine and we play games until early hours of the morning and then he goes home. But recently, maybe mid-late feb? We started getting more affectionate and we'd cuddle a lot which I thought nothing of because as far as he was aware I was only into girls and he knew I was in a relationship. But things were escalating by the week and my gf wasn't happy about the amount I was hanging out with this guy (even though nothing was going on and she was 3 hours away by train and I didn't have the time off to see her).
Anyway skip forward a few weeks and me and my gf were arguing basically every day for those weeks and ultimately it ended in us breaking up of the 3 year relationship. And I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be which made me feel pretty bad about myself. But it was at this point when I finally came to terms with the fact that maybe I did like this guy from work.
I told him I was bi and from then on its become a thing where if we finish work at the same time (or even if I finish an hour earlier), I'll always walk back to his and we'll cuddle for a couple hours and he falls asleep on me while I play with his hair. He even gives my head little rubs or will gently stroke my legs and back. And recently he's started holding my hand on our walks home. So of course I proceed to send him this massive paragraph about how he's confusing me and how everything he does seems suggestive. I haven't even named half the stuff he does but literally anyone would assume we were together if they saw us.
Regardless, he swears its all just friendly and that it doesn't mean anything. I don't know if he is in denial or is just completely oblivious to what's going on but it's really starting to confuse me I'll tell you that. I told my other guy friend and he definitely thinks something is going on between us.
But I just really don't know what to do. He's never actually said how he feels about me and when I asked him earlier why he holds my hand he said 'We touch each other a lot anyway, it's comforting and you have warm hands I guess. I know we aren't in a relationship or anything, but I hope you're okay with us doing it
' What am I supposed to say to that?
I'm so confused. I don't know whether to just ask what are we. Because I think if he wanted to be more than friends he would've said something by now but why is he doing all this stuff that no two 'friends' would do? I'm pretty sure he's never been in a proper relationship though so maybe he's just scared or he thinks I'm still into girls and that worries him. I don't know
What do you think?
So I've spent the last few years of my life in my first proper relationship with a girl (I too am female), and during that time completed the whole of college, got a job, and moved to uni with her.
Now, things were going well up until christmas 2022 when I decided it was best for me to drop out of uni. This is where the relationship started to get ropey but I was willing to work through it. So I moved back home and got my old hours back at my job.
I have two very close male friends at my job. I see them both frequently outside of work and they are the only friends I had outside of my uni time. But anyway, the straight friend always comes round mine and we play games until early hours of the morning and then he goes home. But recently, maybe mid-late feb? We started getting more affectionate and we'd cuddle a lot which I thought nothing of because as far as he was aware I was only into girls and he knew I was in a relationship. But things were escalating by the week and my gf wasn't happy about the amount I was hanging out with this guy (even though nothing was going on and she was 3 hours away by train and I didn't have the time off to see her).
Anyway skip forward a few weeks and me and my gf were arguing basically every day for those weeks and ultimately it ended in us breaking up of the 3 year relationship. And I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be which made me feel pretty bad about myself. But it was at this point when I finally came to terms with the fact that maybe I did like this guy from work.
I told him I was bi and from then on its become a thing where if we finish work at the same time (or even if I finish an hour earlier), I'll always walk back to his and we'll cuddle for a couple hours and he falls asleep on me while I play with his hair. He even gives my head little rubs or will gently stroke my legs and back. And recently he's started holding my hand on our walks home. So of course I proceed to send him this massive paragraph about how he's confusing me and how everything he does seems suggestive. I haven't even named half the stuff he does but literally anyone would assume we were together if they saw us.
Regardless, he swears its all just friendly and that it doesn't mean anything. I don't know if he is in denial or is just completely oblivious to what's going on but it's really starting to confuse me I'll tell you that. I told my other guy friend and he definitely thinks something is going on between us.
But I just really don't know what to do. He's never actually said how he feels about me and when I asked him earlier why he holds my hand he said 'We touch each other a lot anyway, it's comforting and you have warm hands I guess. I know we aren't in a relationship or anything, but I hope you're okay with us doing it
' What am I supposed to say to that?I'm so confused. I don't know whether to just ask what are we. Because I think if he wanted to be more than friends he would've said something by now but why is he doing all this stuff that no two 'friends' would do? I'm pretty sure he's never been in a proper relationship though so maybe he's just scared or he thinks I'm still into girls and that worries him. I don't know
What do you think?
He's confused himself. He likes you but is unsure whether he legitimately has a chance with you especially since you told him you're bi. You need to ask him straight up whether he likes you. Before you do that, and more importantly, do you like him enough for you two to be together? You need to figure that out first.
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