any teenage hijabis? or any muslims? pls help

do you ever feel like you look way better without the hijab and you wish people could see that? i know its the entire point of hijab but idk, when i come home from school and take of my hijab i just stare at myself in the mirror thinking how much better i look.

i never really felt like this since i started wearing it a few months ago until i started taking the public bus. see, i go to a private all girls school, everyone is pretty accepting. but once i began taking the public bus well obviously there were some boys and some i see almost everyday and theyre good looking and its just i wish i started taking the bus before i began wearing hijab so they could know at least how i looked or see me as pretty. Astaghfirallah I know, but my uniform skirt goes up to knees only so i wear this weird black long skirt over when going on the bus and w the hijab i just know i look weird. even more so when i hold my jacket to try and cover the skirt lol..my parents dont want me to wear modest clothing that much, they think im too young so i put it on once i leave the house in. i know they think im odd and i know thats not a bad thing i just idk man. in the end I do it for Allah swt but ever since yesterday i just have been feeling so weird, maybe i have acrush which is so dumb since i avoid even looking at them properly cbfhwnfbhbdqh i wish i could wear nice modest clothing but my parents hate me wearing skirts and abayas so tip toeing around lik ths i have to wear what i can. any advice? idk, just some support, has anyone else felt like this?
i keep thinking "why could i have started hijab just a month later or soething so they could see how i look, and then at least when i wear hijab theyd knowe how i looked before.."
ahh im stupid yeah Astaghfirallah i gotta make dua for myself

I don't think you're stupid at all. It's tough on you, there's a lot of responsibility you have to carry, and lots of competing demands you have to try to meet. It sounds like you want to do the right thing by your religious belief. But of course you also want others to find you attractive; that's very natural and we all feel like that. The ache of a crush is very real.

I am a convert, by the way, with two children. My daughter is just working out what to wear to the school prom. That's really difficult for her. She wants to look and feel great for herself and no doubt in front of her peers, but she also has her own constraints and limits. (I don't want to add to those.) In my opinion, the important thing is to feel true to yourself and to try to be honest about it with others. If you think one thing and do another, or if you are one person in one environment and a different person in another environment, that can be mentally taxing and stressful. Being open and honest can cause short-term difficulty, but almost always works out better in the long term. I can't tell you what to do, but I hope you work it out.

I also wonder, if these boys had seen you before you started wearing hijab, would it really make a difference to their opinion of you? You should not underestimate the attractiveness of your personality, your face, eye contact and confidence. A smile goes a long way. Try to be brave enough to look your crush in the eye. Say 'hi' and smile as you pass. (That's worth much more than the memory of your pre-hijab hair.) The worst that can happen is that you get no response - if so, that's on them, not you, and you never know, you may get the smile back on the next journey.

do you ever feel like you look way better without the hijab and you wish people could see that? i know its the entire point of hijab but idk, when i come home from school and take of my hijab i just stare at myself in the mirror thinking how much better i look.

i never really felt like this since i started wearing it a few months ago until i started taking the public bus. see, i go to a private all girls school, everyone is pretty accepting. but once i began taking the public bus well obviously there were some boys and some i see almost everyday and theyre good looking and its just i wish i started taking the bus before i began wearing hijab so they could know at least how i looked or see me as pretty. Astaghfirallah I know, but my uniform skirt goes up to knees only so i wear this weird black long skirt over when going on the bus and w the hijab i just know i look weird. even more so when i hold my jacket to try and cover the skirt lol..my parents dont want me to wear modest clothing that much, they think im too young so i put it on once i leave the house in. i know they think im odd and i know thats not a bad thing i just idk man. in the end I do it for Allah swt but ever since yesterday i just have been feeling so weird, maybe i have acrush which is so dumb since i avoid even looking at them properly cbfhwnfbhbdqh i wish i could wear nice modest clothing but my parents hate me wearing skirts and abayas so tip toeing around lik ths i have to wear what i can. any advice? idk, just some support, has anyone else felt like this?
i keep thinking "why could i have started hijab just a month later or soething so they could see how i look, and then at least when i wear hijab theyd knowe how i looked before.."
ahh im stupid yeah Astaghfirallah i gotta make dua for myself

Asalaamu Alaikum sister. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I think its important to ask ourselves why we want validation from others as to how good we look on the outside? Do we not have enough self worth that we need to find it in other peoples attention on our external beauty? Do we not just want people to know us and like us for who we really are as people rather than how we look externally? Getting attention for external beauty is like a quick dopamine hit feel good factor, but it doesn't last and so we will keep wanting more and more. However in the end we will never find satisfaction. Hence why Allah has made a covering for a woman's awrah so that she never has to get validation and consequently ends up getting low self worth based on how she looks.

This is why more women turn to Islam than men because they find freedom for the first time in their lives from the shackles of having to conform to how society wants them to dress and appear. They find freedom from the lustful stares of men and having to get validation from others based on how they look. Allah has protected you from such a predicament,. So reflect over this and make Dua to Allah and ask of him to make it easy for you and to make you love the hijaab that he has ordained on you as a blessing, protection and mercy for women.

Consider the following amazing reminder on the real purpose of Hijaab:

Walaikumassalam brother or sister, sorry I can't tell. Thank you for your kind and beautifully worded reply. Well, I think most people want to look good, and what matters most is that they feel they look good. I don't feel that at all in hijab, which is my issue, I realise after reading your post. Obviously, there is a difference between adorning ourself (forbidden) and merely looking good, wearing nice simple clothing - my biggest issue is my parents not liking my wearing skirts/abayas, so the options I have rarely look good. Although I won't lie, part of me definitely wants validation for my looks as you said. Your point about it being a quick dopamine hit is wonderful and definitely true. Sometimes cashiers treat me coldly and silently when they treat other customers so kindly and friendly, mostly the women, and I feel like I've lost that person connection with strangers just by looking Muslim so I just want to look as nice possible.
Thank you, unfortunately I think women will get lustful stares from men even in niqab, but that's not our fault. I've definitely been making dua for myself and I do feel better. I've seen that video before appear on my page but never watched it, I definitely will today InshaAllah.
By the way, I know this isn't related, but do you have any advice what to do regarding my parents situation? See, if they find out I wear skirt frequently secretly they will get so angry. The day my mother found out I used black cloth to cover my arms in school on own clothes day because the sleeves were 3/4, I cannot explain to you just how angry she got, saying I am too young, too extreme, what will people think, you are only 14, this is not what Islam says (she is a hijabi but doesnt believe you need to cover up that much), read it in more detail, etc. That day she blew up over such a small thing and it genuinely scared me, I have never been scared of my mother before that. My father is the one who opposes me wearing skirts and abayas, he says it looks like romanians or something? who have a bad reputation, but i have heard of this before, and i look most nice and muslim and a good representation of muslim in abayas, but they dont agree, obviously, obey no one if it is disobeying Allah, so I put skirts on when I go outside. But i fear one day they will find out, and I feel genuinely terrified for that day. Do you have any advice? It's fine if not.
Jazakallah for your amazing response, and Eid Mubarak whether you celebrate today or yesterday.