Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU?

Scroll to see replies

lol every lesson with my history teacher has a strange comment in it, he's so funny, really good teacher and no ones dares disrespect him but then he has odd moments were you can't tell whether he is being serious or being funny, here's some examples of late:

Other history teacher comes in, female, for something:

US: " hey miss you think sirs a good teacher"( he actually taught her at this school years ago, a few teachers actually went here)
Her: " he's ok, I didn't have him as a teacher for that long though so i can't really comment"( she kinda laughs)
Our teacher: " Hey I taught you...a lot of things"

that was an odd moment..

then when he talked about his daughters boyfriend, he was talking about how he had debates with the boyfriend to see if he was intelligent and that he thinks he shouldn't approve of him to be the classic father:

US: " so sir does he connect with your level of intelligence"(something along those lines, we used the word connect because he'd used it the sentence before about debating with this boyfriend

Him: "Well he certainly connects with my daughter"( in this weird voice) LMAO. :p:

Reply 61

an_end_has_a_start

oh and another one was
i said to my teacher "these donuts look sweaty"
he said "oh no thats not sweat i've been looking at abi clancy this morning"

Reply 62

Hubert Poo

Bubblebeard

My drama teacher came out with some great eccentricities.

"I bet your mother is the kind of woman who'll force feed you pasta."

"I'm not saying I'm a homosexual, but if the chance ever came up, I'm not sure I'd say no."

"And I said to the girl, "I'm not being racist, I'm pointing out two very obvious characteristics: One, you're arrogant, two, you're Nigerian. I'm not saying they're related.""

And my latest media teacher comes out with some great lines. God bless the Scottish.

"The only way I can explain how bad Guy Ritchie's films are is by drawing comparisons to both Hitler and Stalin."

He also used to live in a pub, and told us an amazing story of watching a epileptic man almost bite off his finger while attempting to eat a sandwhich.

Post of win. :rofl:

Reply 63

Deadmau5

Lampshade

My year 8 maths teacher:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2004/oct/06/schools.uk6

That's what I like to see!

Reply 64

marshey

"When I was at university, you could get lashed for a fiver".

Where she was from lashed meant to get drunk...where she taught it meant to have sex.

Reply 65

username196545

When my tutor told us all about her teenage daughter's one night stand and abortion...

We all knew her daughter and it was a big secret appaz, untill her mum blabbed... (and we were in yr 9 at the time).

Reply 66

h82think

My year 10 PE teacher didn't think my voice was real :frown:

Reply 67

Jkid

We were in a small french class and a friend of mine who used to sell porn DVD's had a bunch in his bag somebody opens up his bag and says to the teacher look [insert name of friend] has a whole load of porn in his bag teacher replies 'Cant be as much as my stack at home' lol

ANother germain teacher said to a bunch of students 'YOU BLACK MONKEYS'

Reply 68

fisherman

"You must **** us harder."

Good times. She was hot as well, 23 years old, blonde hair, blue eyes, slim. She also had this habit of wearing lowish tops and leaning down in front of me. Her lack of knowledge of the english language made for some very interesting conversations.

Reply 69

oo_Lucinda_oo

My Italian teacher used to call us all 'clever dicks' if we got something right, and when we forgot something, we had to try and remember 'the DINGY DINGY DINGY!' (accompanied by hitting herself on the head with each 'dingy')..

My music teacher on my piano composition; 'you sure know how to work those hands!', and often made references to people 'caressing the piano' and 'stroking the notes'. Weird piano fetish me thinks!

Funniest was probably during a mock Science exam, was deadly quiet, and out of nowhere my science teacher goes, 'I-can't-get-no-sleep..... insommmnia' (in the same deep voice) Was so random! Especially since he is like 60 lol!

Reply 70

SiaSiaSia

I'll update this later, tired atm. :P.
These aren't really that strange. oh well..

Me: "Ich war ein Virgin"
Herr Schiffaz: "Good to start young!"

Miss Tyson: Do you know how many people I've sent out of the room before you?
Me: ... are we the first?
Miss Tyson: No. you're the SECOND AND THIRD.

Dr Rusieski: ""GEORGIE, how can you not understand this! everyone understands this! put up your hands if you DON'T understand it here"
-silence. everybody slowly puts up hands-

-louise sends note to sia saying: "put your hand on your head and finger on your nose until dr rusieski realises." ruby, louise sia and ali do this. sia starts laughing and tries to turn it into a cough. dr rusieski looks at sia.-
sia: erm.. can i have .. a tissue?
dr rusieski: i don't think you need a tissue. i think you need a brain

*6 people from ae are in the form room*
*mrs fox enters*
"i don't see anyone from AE in here..."
*walks out*

etcetc.
rest is on there: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=35622726&blogID=136984933

Reply 71

Goldman Jacks

My maths teacher said a lot of weird things to me. One that i can remember was "Id like to taste the milk you had as a baby". I still havnt worked out what he meant but ive got a feeling he likes my mums t1ts. :eek:

Reply 72

Morbo

"Any more homework to be handed in? Come on! Any more n*****s in the woodpile?"

Reply 73

*Passion*Fruit*

You look very pretty today.

You're going to do some thing big one day.

Reply 74

73337

oo_Lucinda_oo

Funniest was probably during a mock Science exam, was deadly quiet, and out of nowhere my science teacher goes, 'I-can't-get-no-sleep..... insommmnia' (in the same deep voice) Was so random! Especially since he is like 60 lol!

legend.

Reply 75

HCD

EducatingBrogan

Yes, she used the word wibbling.

What a word. :teeth:

Reply 76

letsdothetimewarpagain

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article1951105.ece - The drama teacher who used to come to my junior school (in christchurch) once a week for drama club :ninja:

... he used to make some weird references to boys and this explains it

Reply 77

Kimnjinx

Chem teacher: Oh god no, you're not taking chemistry are you?
Me: Yep, you're stuck with me another 2 years
Chem Teacher: Well, I best go hang myself now hadn't i?

Reply 78

flowerness

'The reasons that I don't think you should carry on with Psychology is because it is too scientific for you and you'll get an E in the exam.'

No lie.

Reply 79

LizB

Biology teacher:
After explaining my feminist views on the world:
"Oh your views will change when you go to uni and someone sweeps you off your feet!"
I nearly killed him.

Form Tutor: During various sex ed lessons
Teacher:"So what is sex?" (to boy in my class)"You. Do you know what sex is?"
Boy:"Erm......no?"
Teacher: "Sex is when a man inserts his......"(imagine a detailed description)
Everyone in the classs: :eek:

In a lesson on abortion: "Come on boys pay attention one day your sister could get raped and you'll have to think about these things!" :eek:

History teacher:
"Oh yes everyone falls in love with Prince Rupert one girl took a picture of him into an exam once"

Other (very Irish) History teacher: "For GAWD SAKE don't do conspiracy theories for your coursework"
"I hate Oliver Cromwell"
On looking at a sample coursework question: "well I don't know who Amy Robsart is..."
Me: quietly to my friends: "I think she's...
Him: "What is she some radical feminist?!"
Me: :erm: