physical touch and affection

i'm not a touchy person and i never have been. I dont know why and no its not bc of trauma, abuse or anything like that. I would get some hugs when i was younger or if i come home from crying from school so its not like i've never had any sort of physical affection. I dont hug my friends often but when i do, i feel like im not being genuine. I have been told that my hugs are nice but i dont feel like the hug is nice - how do i fix that? I wanna have a relationship but its kinda hard when you find giving hugs awkward, let alone kissing - lets not get onto that. "kissing is natural idk what to tell you " - no thats bs.
idk giving hugs either feels: like a chore, not genuine or awkward.
I dont mind hand holding or arm holding tho i never do that lot.
How do i fix my mindset?

Reply 1

bungusgrungus

5

People have different love languages, yours just might not be physical touch and that's ok. Maybe you will find someone that you are comfortable with and wont feel awkward hugging them idk. People just have preferences, I don't think its a mindset that you need to fix

Reply 2

Nerol

21

Original post by Anonymous

i'm not a touchy person and i never have been. I dont know why and no its not bc of trauma, abuse or anything like that. I would get some hugs when i was younger or if i come home from crying from school so its not like i've never had any sort of physical affection. I dont hug my friends often but when i do, i feel like im not being genuine. I have been told that my hugs are nice but i dont feel like the hug is nice - how do i fix that? I wanna have a relationship but its kinda hard when you find giving hugs awkward, let alone kissing - lets not get onto that. "kissing is natural idk what to tell you " - no thats bs.
idk giving hugs either feels: like a chore, not genuine or awkward.
I dont mind hand holding or arm holding tho i never do that lot.
How do i fix my mindset?

There's nothing to fix. It is completely OK to feel this way about physical intimacy. It can be difficult for someone who is a very touchy feely person to understand, which can cause problems in relationships, but you don't need to change yourself because of that. It could be that, with the right person, it feels more natural or enjoyable (this has been my experience), but it could just be that you don't enjoy those things, which is fine. I'd say try it with different people as you go through life and see if it feels different with different people. If not, don't be afraid to be open about it with your partner(s) about it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

i'm not a touchy person and i never have been. I dont know why and no its not bc of trauma, abuse or anything like that. I would get some hugs when i was younger or if i come home from crying from school so its not like i've never had any sort of physical affection. I dont hug my friends often but when i do, i feel like im not being genuine. I have been told that my hugs are nice but i dont feel like the hug is nice - how do i fix that? I wanna have a relationship but its kinda hard when you find giving hugs awkward, let alone kissing - lets not get onto that. "kissing is natural idk what to tell you " - no thats bs.
idk giving hugs either feels: like a chore, not genuine or awkward.
I dont mind hand holding or arm holding tho i never do that lot.
How do i fix my mindset?

bro, this is absolutely alright! each person has their own comfort zones and boundaries. nothing to fear.

physical touch and affection

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