The Student Room Group

this girl is being so confusing.

i dated a girl for two months and then we broke up cause her parents found out and she’s not allowed to date anyway (i’m 18, she’s 17.) it’s been three months since then and now she’s back to heavily complimenting me and also flirting with me (and then saying it’s a joke/she doesn’t mean it) and being so touchy and physical (like touching my hair). but then she’s also talking about her current crushes during our normal conversations (cause we’re friends) like what ?? stop being so confusing ??

is she messing with me/using me for attention or is she interested in me again? cause i’m so torn what to think about this.
Of course she's still interested in you. You broke-up because of her parents - not because she lost interest.

If the parents are still an obstacle then there's no point in re-attempting a relationship.
Reply 2
Original post by 1582
Of course she's still interested in you. You broke-up because of her parents - not because she lost interest.

If the parents are still an obstacle then there's no point in re-attempting a relationship.


i would’ve thought that too but she’s told our entire friend group about the new guy she likes, and she’s even admitted to me she’s still interested in him. i’m pretty sure she’s just using me for attention at this point or something.
Original post by Anonymous
i would’ve thought that too but she’s told our entire friend group about the new guy she likes, and she’s even admitted to me she’s still interested in him. i’m pretty sure she’s just using me for attention at this point or something.


Hi there
she is using you
agree with you
Reply 4
First off, it sounds like a pretty tough situation to be handling and I'm sorry that things didn't pan out because of the parents enforcing that familial rule. I don't think it changes what my thoughts are regarding your situation.

I think it would help to reflect on how you feel about her continuing to flirt with you and seemingly sending mixed messages in relation to what feelings you might still have towards her - particularly romantic feelings. I say this because ultimately you should give yourself the grace and self-respect to set the personal boundaries for how you comfortably interact with this girl - and yes, if you were a girl, I'd be giving the exact same sentiment. At the end of the day, this situation boils down to having self-respect and grace for yourself as an individual.

Regardless of what her motivations are for sending these mixed messages, if it bothers you to the point where you're constantly torn about it, then I would encourage you to let her know and figure out precisely where you two stand. The last thing that I would want for you is to feel like you're an emotional water jug for her. As far as I am concerned, you guys are friends, post-relationship - meaning that your dynamic should reflect a cordial (and platonic) relationship, not a romantic one. Her sending you mixed messages ultimately prevents you from fully moving on and it's somewhat unfair to you as a person. Just my 2 cents.
Reply 5
Original post by Jo-T1994
First off, it sounds like a pretty tough situation to be handling and I'm sorry that things didn't pan out because of the parents enforcing that familial rule. I don't think it changes what my thoughts are regarding your situation.

I think it would help to reflect on how you feel about her continuing to flirt with you and seemingly sending mixed messages in relation to what feelings you might still have towards her - particularly romantic feelings. I say this because ultimately you should give yourself the grace and self-respect to set the personal boundaries for how you comfortably interact with this girl - and yes, if you were a girl, I'd be giving the exact same sentiment. At the end of the day, this situation boils down to having self-respect and grace for yourself as an individual.

Regardless of what her motivations are for sending these mixed messages, if it bothers you to the point where you're constantly torn about it, then I would encourage you to let her know and figure out precisely where you two stand. The last thing that I would want for you is to feel like you're an emotional water jug for her. As far as I am concerned, you guys are friends, post-relationship - meaning that your dynamic should reflect a cordial (and platonic) relationship, not a romantic one. Her sending you mixed messages ultimately prevents you from fully moving on and it's somewhat unfair to you as a person. Just my 2 cents.

this is really great advice. thank you so much!

i don’t mind that she’s flirting with me, but i’d rather she takes it somewhere rather than pausing and acting like nothing happened. that’s what bothers me the most, and is where the “she’s probably using me” part comes from. (not to mention a lot of her flirting has sexual undertones rather than romantic.)

i’ll definitely talk to her about it. thanks again!

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