Original post by Noice_1Ok so I'm gonna offer a different opinion than some other people on this thread. So I'm a male. And in a wayy, I kind of understand this?? It was super weird that he used the BPD excuse.
But coming from a guy like me who is pretty shy when I talk to girls, he might have been super nervous. If he isn't that attractive as you say, he might have never had a chance to talk to a cute giril like you so he might have THOUGHT he messed up with you and stepped back to assure you he isn't a creep.
It seems to me that he never had a proper chance with a girl before, so he is probably contemplating at home whether he should have done "this or that" action with you that day. I'm definitely like that. I sometimes say embarresing stuff, and when I go home, Ohhh my days, I regret my choices soooo much.
He's probably panicking, although I'm not sure, is this his first time dating or having somone who liked him back? If it is I can totttttttallllylyyyy relate and its just because he truly doesn't know how to act.
For example, the statement where you said he puts his arm around you to assure other people that you're taken seems to be a case of worrying.
He might think you are attracted to someone else, but is worried about the consequences, so he doesn't know how to act, even if you talk to him. And I can kind of relate here. For the past year, me and this girl became great friends, eating studying etc. But recently I found out she had a boyfriend, so I distanced myself from her (I don't wanna cause trouble). So she's probably thinking why we don't hang out anymore. So I think your friend might not be sure that you are fully interested in him even if you confirmed that you love him too.
The one weird thing is that BPD excuse, but I believe that's just some nervousness and he doesn't want to loose his chance with you because he is embarrased. I can imagine him right now pacing and regretting that if I were him.
also you haven't really specified, he might truly have BPD, have you tried to go into it further?
So in my opinion, Please give him a chance and see how it goes as the days go by. Is he distancing even more?
I know all the comments here say to just move on, but please just wait and give him a chance, he could be confused. IF he distances even MORE. Then you might have to let go A TINY BIT. But don't totally ignore him. He could truly have some illness you never know!
Also maybe something wrong is happeining in his personal life. His parents might be strict in that he can't talk to girls (If he lives with his parents) Or maybe some traumatic experience happened. At this point I think you should also try to get in his heart in any way you think is best.
Also I have some rebuttals for the other comments on this thread. First, If he was hoping for a quick one and leave that is wrong, he wouldn't have stayed this long + its only been 5 days.
He also wouldn't have said to take it slow.
And he may be trying his best in HIS opinion, so you might want to push a little further.
Another time in my life, I really liked this girl, and I can tell that she liked me back, and we became pretty good friends, but just suddenly after summer break, she TOTALLY broke contact. She wasn't responding to a "hey how's life" Or my snaps, and she unfollowed me from instagram, all in a single snap. I was like "wtf". But I later realized that including me, she unfollowed tons of people, her instagram followers decreased by 100 followers, and what did they all have in common? They were all boys.
So I instantly knew, it was her parents doings and so I never pushed forward with her. I kinda miss her friendship but it is what it is. My point is that, there could be literally ANY reason why he distanced himself, not because he dislikes you. You just have to find the root cause! Don't react to the consequence (distancing) try to know why he is in the first place!
Maybe he wants to see if you truly truly truly like him, by seeing your reaction if he was with other girls in your gc.
Also one last thing is that I saw that you said you won't talk to him again. PLEASE, don't do that. That is the worst thing that could happen to an individual emotionally. He technically hasn't broken your heart or even announcened anything, so please don't totally ignore him. As a boy, I can confirm that would utterly and miserably shatter him.
If you think that you want to move on, just become regular old friends, saying hi in the hallways, and talking every once in a while. But total shutdown? Too much I believe.
So that's it, and please just remember this is allllllllll my opinion, and you can totally just ignore it! I can tell you are a very kind person!
If you have any questions or need anything else I'll be here!