platonic and romantic confusion

hi. i (17f) am at a really weird place in my life right now. in 2022 i dated a girl and it was going good and then late august she broke up with me to focus on her a levels (i was entering y12 and she was entering y13) - said we should remain friends but actually ended up going no contact for a bit haha. anyways before we dated we were really really close before i confessed to her about liking girls and then confessed to having feelings for her. however a bit into the relationship i noticed that it was very much the same as us being friends. even though she said she liked me back i suspect she wasn’t really feeling the romance so this has confused me loads. the rest of y12 i had a crush on this this boy in my sixth form that i sit next to in my computer science class but he only saw us as friends - we still are but it’s so awkward bc he knows that i liked him. and THEN i started liking one of my best friends autumn/winter of last year but she ended up getting with one of my friends at a party i invited her to even though she knew i liked her and she told me that i don’t actually like her and have just confused platonic and romantic feelings.
meanwhile the people who DO like me romantically im not interested in. i went on a date with this guy last year and while i had a good time afterwards he wanted to do the relationshipy thing too much too fast but i need a real connection with someone first in order to start liking them and he didn’t really seem to get it much. am i doomed forever? it seems as though everyone i have feelings for simply just wants to be friends. do i secretly not wanna be happy or something or do i just have really bad judgment. it just makes me regret being vulnerable with people who will never fully reciprocate my feelings and at the end of the day i just end up embarrassed. save me guys

It's perfectly okay to feel that way!! I can understand how frustrating it could be knowing that every relationship you want to commit to doesn't work out. Being vulnerable with people is daunting and i'm glad to hear that you've been confident enough to open up to people you like!!

Sadly, there isn't really a secret formula that you can use to magically find your partner - it's all about putting yourself out there and finding new people to start making relationships and friendships with. Keep your head up, I'm sure that you'll find someone eventually