I've recently discovered an old crush is going to nearby dance classes...

Long story short, going back 16 years, this girl is the younger sister of my best friend at school at the time. I obviously used to hang out with this friend a lot both at school and their home, and she also went to our school in the year below, so we interacted and chatted from time to time. This whole period lasted for about nine years and I developed a big crush on her and, without going into detail, she gave off what I considered to be several signs that she might be interested in me as well. However, I was always too scared to actually do anything about it.

Fast forward a year and a half after leaving school, we're now both at different unis. I finally plucked up the courage to message her asking if she wanted to meet up, but she never even acknowledged the question, so clearly, if she ever had been interested, I'd let the opportunity go and she certainly wasn't now. A few months later I learned she had a boyfriend, so that was the end of it.

I'd written her off for years after that as a total no-hope, but then fast forward to last week. My friend (her brother) has long since gone off the rails and is no longer in our lives (long story) and she and this boyfriend split up last summer. Apart from she and I occasionally liking each other's social media posts, we've had no contact since my failed attempt at asking her out at uni. However, my mum regularly goes to these weekly salsa classes nearby and last week she came back and told me that this girl was there and is a regular herself. Apparently she recognised my mum's name on the list and went up to speak to her, which I thought was really nice.

Hearing about this, I've now decided to start going myself when the next course starts in a few weeks, as I feel it's a golden opportunity to talk to her, maybe try and rekindle an interest (assuming there used to be one) and just see how things go. So how could I do this? I won't ask her out straight away as this will depend on how well we get on on the day, but what things could I say to her? And what about flirting? Possibly offer myself as a dance partner during the class?

Thanks guys!

Reply 1

username5854274

15

You want to take up salsa dancing because you are still infatuated with a woman who ghosted you years ago?

Reply 2

Surnia

20

You've got her social media, use that to contact her.

Do not start going to dance classes because this girl attends. It's not speed dating; it's her hobby and you could make her feel very uncomfortable by intruding on that and more so by flirting.

Reply 3

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

If you interacted for 9 years and nothing happened, and you later asked if they wanted to meet up and they blanked you, then that ship has very much sailed and you need to let go of the "if I'm just persistent enough!" mindset.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

You've got her social media, use that to contact her.

Do not start going to dance classes because this girl attends. It's not speed dating; it's her hobby and you could make her feel very uncomfortable by intruding on that and more so by flirting.

I probably should have mentioned that I'd been considering going anyway because it would be something new to try (and I've been nagged at to go for months), I just feel that this has sealed the deal, but I don't see a problem with just talking to her. She'll probably come and speak to me anyway like she did with my mum. I guess I feel I'd rather just see how things are in person first before I even think about messaging her again. If I don't feel she's interested, or maybe if I don't feel there's a spark, then nothing further will happen and I certainly wouldn't want to get in the way of her hobby. But after reading this I might forget the flirting now and just act natural. This is why I reached out

Reply 5

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

I probably should have mentioned that I'd been considering going anyway because it would be something new to try (and I've been nagged at to go for months), I just feel that this has sealed the deal, but I don't see a problem with just talking to her. She'll probably come and speak to me anyway like she did with my mum. I guess I feel I'd rather just see how things are in person first before I even think about messaging her again. If I don't feel she's interested, or maybe if I don't feel there's a spark, then nothing further will happen and I certainly wouldn't want to get in the way of her hobby. But after reading this I might forget the flirting now and just act natural. This is why I reached out

Message her and see if she wants to meet up sooner rather than later. Then you know where you stand for the dance classes, because you're going to look silly if she's the main reason for going and she's not interested; it gives you time to find a new hobby.

I've recently discovered an old crush is going to nearby dance classes...

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