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ENGLISH LANG STORY AQA, could anyone mark this out of 40???

Residing at my desk in the exam hall, I felt the heavy anticipation and nervousness in the air. With my dreams on the line, every stroke of my pen held immense weight as the seconds ticked by, reminding me of the limited time left. Sweat formed on my brow and bile began to emerge from my already convoluted stomach, a reminder of the importance of this moment in the dimly lit room, enveloped by Deafening silence.

My fragile mind was engulfed in many things: darkness, fear, panic, and worry.

In a seemingly eternal descent, the pen tumbled from my fingers and hit the floor with a resounding clatter, shattering the silence and sending shockwaves of panic through the hall, magnifying my fear. The sound echoed in my ears as if in slow motion. My hands began to vibrate uncontrollably, desperately trying to regain my rouge pen. However, before my hands could contact my fallen pen the exam had concluded; there was nothing I could do.

PENS DOWN! declared the invigilator.

I rose from my seat, (without finishing the endless exam), my legs trembling beneath me, and made my way to the exit of this hellish hall. Outside, the scene was personified chaos. Students huddled together, their faces etched with terror and worry. The Year 11 classroom is now filled with a deafening silence, broken only by the sound of erratic breathing and anxious whispers. The once lively Year 11 courtyard was filled with an oppressive silence; punctuated only by the continuous whimpers of many students. My legs were shaking as I staggered toward the exit, eager to leave behind the chaos personified outside.

Days turned into weeks and my nervousness began to become diluted, however, like a HIV infection, the worry and fear that resided in me had been brought back to life.

It was results day.

As the TV blared in the background, I remained fixated on the couch. The highly anticipated results day had finally arrived and would undoubtedly shape our future endeavours. The news reporter's voice suddenly filled the room, prematurely announcing the segment, "GCSE results are out, and..."

Time stood still.

As if caught in thick fog, my mind was consumed by confusion. I looked around expectantly, but only silence met me. No sound, no movement, nothing. With a brave step forward, I faced the city, only to find stillness. The people stood immobile - their expressions unchanging. Not even the cars dared to move, arrested midway in their journeys. The infants were stationary in the enormous playground. Without warning, as I travelled further and further, my desperate eyes fixated on something...

The spectre of darkness and temptation emerged from the shadows as I explored the frozen city, he was an ominous figure exuding an aura of malevolence. As I staggered towards this being, this figure eventually came into focus.

It was the Devil.

His eyes burned with unholy fire, while a wicked smile curled on his lips. Approaching me with a sinfully alluring voice, the Devil whispered to follow him as he promised to rid me of my fears and offer me power that could be mine. As he spoke, he urged me to abandon God in exchange for this tempting offer. A spark of faith flickered deep within my soul as I hesitated between light and darkness.

The choice hung in the air.

We appeared instantaneously in a semi-detached house filled with decorative items, it was as clean as Heavan, and we were transported there in an outburst. The Devil gave a sneering grin as he gestured towards the examiner naively marking my paper, frozen in time. My eyes latched onto my abhorrent handwriting, while the devil spoke with taunting malice. "Failure, judgment - this is your fear – I'll get rid of it for you” he leered

My already racing mind was flooded with memories of divine intervention as I shook my head. Triumph and blessings bestowed upon me spun through my thoughts. I mustered the strength to resist and declared,

"There is strength in faith, and it will prevail. I will not allow you to take a life," my voice unwavering.

With a furious roar, the Devil recoiled, his power diminished by my steadfast resolve. He vanished into the shadows, leaving behind a realm restored to motion and time.

This organized chaos by the devil caused scepticism to inundate my feeble mind. Treading out of the semi-detached house I longed to go home until a bright light began to embrace my hurting soul, (it was relieving). In an instant, I recognized the aura; it was my creator.

My God.

This heavenly aura had enlightened me, and this organized chaos had been constructed by God to test my faith: I had passed. God had granted me Heavan and my soul began to exit my body, As I looked down my eyes fixed upon the lifeless figure lying motionless on the ground. It was a surreal sight. Before leaving, I began to roam around this realm, searching for things I loved until I reached my derelict school building.

I roamed the halls, a phantom amidst echoes of memories. Laughter, camaraderie, and the pursuit of knowledge filled the air. It was a melancholic farewell to a chapter of my life: a chance to bid adieu the cherished moments.

As I floated through the corridors, I stumbled upon another exam in progress. Students writhed in the clutches of anxiety: the weight of their aspirations heavy upon them. But as the pens dropped, I remained unaffected.

I felt many things: contentment, delight, and enlightenment. A smile graced my lips as I whispered to the winds,

"The pens dropped, but it didn't matter to me anymore."

I had learned that there was more to life than the outcomes of exams, more to be cherished and celebrated beyond the confines of grades. I had found solace in the embrace of faith, and that was a triumph in itself.