I’m uncomfortable with my bf relationship with his female friend

I’m dating with my bf for almost 3years. The 2 of us are 25yo.

My bf has a female friend that he knows since middle school.

I’m not against him having female friend, I don’t mind the other one that he has but I don’t like how much he interacts with this particular one.

Like in one hand I’m like maybe he’s treating her like he’s treating his other males friend but in the other hand I’m like no.

Apparently it happened that she calls my bf or send him text to talk about her lives, her relationship.. one day my bf told me she called him at night to lament about her relationship and sometimes I think about that like why would she calls my bf for that ? Does she considers him as her confident ?
And they seems to exchange daily by text/social media and via their friend group
He has his little close friendgroup where there’s exclusively guys and then there’s her. She’s like the only girl of this lil group and I don’t like that. They often play video games together and they’re like playing the whole night. Sometimes I fell asleep and when I wake up at 4/5am he’s
still playing and making lives vocal parties and she’s there.

I hear him teasing her and I’m like eeerrk
Like ok he also tease he makes friend but when its her he doesn’t feel right to me :frown:

Recently he came to me saying that he’s attempting this game night at his friend, and she’ll be there… the only girl in the game night… I just wanted to say that I don’t want him to go but I didn’t say anything bc I don’t want to be controlling and don’t want him to miss a good night but I’m really annoyed by this idea.

Honestly, I’m jealous…

I want to tell him that I want him to move away from him but I don’t want to be the controlfreak gf cliche

I need external opinions please

Reply 1

Newgirlfnc

5

Original post by Anonymous

I’m dating with my bf for almost 3years. The 2 of us are 25yo.

My bf has a female friend that he knows since middle school.

I’m not against him having female friend, I don’t mind the other one that he has but I don’t like how much he interacts with this particular one.

Like in one hand I’m like maybe he’s treating her like he’s treating his other males friend but in the other hand I’m like no.

Apparently it happened that she calls my bf or send him text to talk about her lives, her relationship.. one day my bf told me she called him at night to lament about her relationship and sometimes I think about that like why would she calls my bf for that ? Does she considers him as her confident ?
And they seems to exchange daily by text/social media and via their friend group
He has his little close friendgroup where there’s exclusively guys and then there’s her. She’s like the only girl of this lil group and I don’t like that. They often play video games together and they’re like playing the whole night. Sometimes I fell asleep and when I wake up at 4/5am he’s
still playing and making lives vocal parties and she’s there.

I hear him teasing her and I’m like eeerrk
Like ok he also tease he makes friend but when its her he doesn’t feel right to me :frown:

Recently he came to me saying that he’s attempting this game night at his friend, and she’ll be there… the only girl in the game night… I just wanted to say that I don’t want him to go but I didn’t say anything bc I don’t want to be controlling and don’t want him to miss a good night but I’m really annoyed by this idea.

Honestly, I’m jealous…

I want to tell him that I want him to move away from him but I don’t want to be the controlfreak gf cliche

I need external opinions please

Sorry, a lot of typos and I can’t modify it because it’s anonymous :frown:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Newgirlfnc

Sorry, a lot of typos and I can’t modify it because it’s anonymous :frown:

No longer anonymous 😭

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I think you should just tell him how you feel, communicate with him and tell him you’re not comfortable with it.

Reply 4

Ariichu

11

Yea the first thing u can do is to just communicate how u feel, whether or not hell respect how u feel u dont know

Reply 5

StriderHort

21

Where's the point in claiming you're not against him having a female friend, then making it repeatedly clear you're against it? Who are you trying to convince?

Reply 6

subbhy

18

Original post by Anonymous

I’m dating with my bf for almost 3years. The 2 of us are 25yo.

My bf has a female friend that he knows since middle school.

I’m not against him having female friend, I don’t mind the other one that he has but I don’t like how much he interacts with this particular one.

Like in one hand I’m like maybe he’s treating her like he’s treating his other males friend but in the other hand I’m like no.

Apparently it happened that she calls my bf or send him text to talk about her lives, her relationship.. one day my bf told me she called him at night to lament about her relationship and sometimes I think about that like why would she calls my bf for that ? Does she considers him as her confident ?
And they seems to exchange daily by text/social media and via their friend group
He has his little close friendgroup where there’s exclusively guys and then there’s her. She’s like the only girl of this lil group and I don’t like that. They often play video games together and they’re like playing the whole night. Sometimes I fell asleep and when I wake up at 4/5am he’s
still playing and making lives vocal parties and she’s there.

I hear him teasing her and I’m like eeerrk
Like ok he also tease he makes friend but when its her he doesn’t feel right to me :frown:

Recently he came to me saying that he’s attempting this game night at his friend, and she’ll be there… the only girl in the game night… I just wanted to say that I don’t want him to go but I didn’t say anything bc I don’t want to be controlling and don’t want him to miss a good night but I’m really annoyed by this idea.

Honestly, I’m jealous…

I want to tell him that I want him to move away from him but I don’t want to be the controlfreak gf cliche

I need external opinions please

I think getting to know his friend better might also be in your interest. They’ve known each other for a long time and have probably developed a very close bond. So I would recommend you try to get to know her better and see perhaps why they’re so close and you’ll see perhaps part of he likes her as a friend. You said you feel jealous and possibly threatened too so trying to tackle those feelings at the root by trying to talk to her and know her better with an open mind may help you to either confirm or reject your instincts. Hope this helps!

Reply 7

Trinculo

21

Just tell him the truth. That you’re super jealous and insecure and you’re giving him a her or me ultimatum

Remind yourself that they're just friends. Do it everytime you're paranoid they're more than that - because it doesn't sound like they are. Take the emphasis off her gender and try to view her as just another one of his mates.

Reply 9

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

I'd have to agree that there's nothing overly flirty or intimate about what you've writen. They just sound like good mates.

He may have known her a long while and has a good laugh with her but he's chosen to be with you.

If you do need a bit more time with him, I would raise that, but just be careful of criticising his relationships with his mates as it'll be easy to veer off into controlling territory.