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Why is it taking me so long to learn to drive?

Hi,

I have been driving for 8 months now and have had 48hrs of lessons with about 4hrs of private practice. I have already had to move the test back once and I am getting frustrated and embarrassed by how my friends are all passing before me, or are ahead of me despite only just starting to learn. I am normally first to pass things e.g. at school, and it makes me feel like a failure to be bad at something/ worse than others.

I keep making stupid mistakes in the lessons, like hesitating at a junction which means that I now have to spend an extra hour doing them in my next lesson (after doing lessons specifically focussing on them for about a month). I think the mistakes are either because I am getting fed up so I lose concentration, or because I am nervous. My test is in a month and my instructor has already told me that he doesn't think I will be ready by then- he wont let me use his car either unless I am ready.

I have upped the lessons to 4hrs a week, and have been trying to get more private practice with my mum, but she said she doesn't feel safe in the car with me and keeps intervening and pointing out hazards that I have already seen because she doesn't trust me. It's really distracting and stresses me out ( I am already an anxious driver).

I already worry about holding people up or making mistakes and I just seem to be getting worse and worse. I feel as though moving the test again would be giving up, and I have already spent over £1000 of my own money on lessons, and I really want to be able to drive because I hate getting lifts everywhere and I need to get to school myself in September because my mum isn't paying for the bus anymore and she can't take me, plus I would feel like a loser getting lifts from friends who started learning after me.

I am just so frustrated and tired because it is taking me so long and I feel like a failure. Any advice?

Thanks in advance :smile:

Reply 1

ludurkris

You are doing the right thing. You have upped the lessons, doing private practice, put the test back until ready. These are all absolutely good things. I think one of the main things is to put things in perspective. Yes, you are not yet ready and still struggling, but think back to when you started and all of the progress and good things you have achieved. It's very easy to just focus on the negative. Also let's put 48 hours in to perspective. 48 hours of driving experience is really nothing at all in the grand scheme of driving.

Put 30 young pupils in a classroom for a lesson. By the end of the lesson, not all pupils attain the same level of understanding or grasp the concept equally. Just because it takes you longer to grasp that concept does not mean that, in the end, you don't have the potential exceed the understanding of the concept. You may even eventually, grasp it to a greater level. Take a race, a sprint racer will pass the line quicker than a marathon runner, but learning the skill of driving is not a sprint race, it's a skill you learn for life. You have to be bad, struggle and fail at something, before you get good.