Should I reach out to her?

I was diagnosed with a mental health problem back in 2017, and as a result of this problem and domestic violence I experienced, I became really isolated and alienated from my friends and family. My siblings were behind the domestic violence and they basically beat me up and then I ended up becoming unwell and having a psychotic episode a couple months later.

I became distant from my best friend from school as a result of everything I was going through and now I want to reach out to her again. I feel like my sister has put this idea that I am 'crazy' to our family and friends circle and to my best friend too. I spoke to my best friend's sister at the time of when I was struggling with my mental health, only to find out she spoke behind my back and judged me for having the mental illness.

At the moment, I'm feeling a lot lot better than I was when I was unwell and I can speak up for myself. I just wanted to ask should I reach out to my best friend and clear my name etc?

I appreciate this is probably not enough information, but the main thing that's going on here is that I am isolated and alienated from society and my friends/family because of my sister and her evil behaviour and I wanted to ask if I should make the effort to speak to my best friend and tell the truth about what my family did to me and what caused the mental illness or is it not worth it? Because I feel like they might have chosen to judge me anyway

Also, with my best friend I used to get really negative vibes from her about how she perceived my illness and how she used to treat me prior to when I was diagnosed so I'm not even sure if she's a good person herself. I just feel so lonely and isolated and want everyone to know what really happened to me.
I hope this makes some sense, feel free to ask me questions if there are gaps and you need to understand more!

Anyone?

Universities Forum Helper

No harm in reaching out to a lapsed friend. Personally I would re-establish a connection before addressing the past and what your sister may have brought up.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Admit-One

No harm in reaching out to a lapsed friend. Personally I would re-establish a connection before addressing the past and what your sister may have brought up.

Thank you for replying, I understand that, just have this burning desire to kinda clear my name, so you think I should go for it and contact her?

Reply 4

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for replying, I understand that, just have this burning desire to kinda clear my name, so you think I should go for it and contact her?

If you want to try and build the friendship again, all you can do is try. Just bear in mind they may not want to. Ultimately that is their choice and not a reflection on you.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Admit-One

If you want to try and build the friendship again, all you can do is try. Just bear in mind they may not want to. Ultimately that is their choice and not a reflection on you.

Totally get that. What about the risk of her being a toxic friend after all though? Would you still say it's worth reaching out? I'm moving away anyway so there won't be much room for a solid friendship tbh with the distance we'll have between us, therefore I don't think the risk to my mental health is big

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Any more viewpoints are welcome!

Reply 7

1582

Volunteer Team

You specified 2017. If you haven't spoken in years I wouldn't bother doing so now. Your reasons for contacting this person appear to be more about making yourself feel better than having anything do with them. Accept/forgive yourself for what happened and move on.

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by 1582

Not sure what I'm supposed to be forgiving myself for but OK

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

I'm from the MHSS thread, there's no harm trying to reconnect with an old best friend. If it doesn't go as planned, all you can do is wish her the best for the future and try to move on.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm from the MHSS thread, there's no harm trying to reconnect with an old best friend. If it doesn't go as planned, all you can do is wish her the best for the future and try to move on.