Should I go with my boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have hardly been apart for more than 3 nights in a row. We live together! He might be going to America to do some more pilot training ( which originally got disrupted during Covid before I met him) for 3-5 months.

He says he would love me to come but obviously doesn’t expect me to drop my job and come. However my company is half American and so it’s not completely unreasonable if I ask to work in America.

His uncle is paying for his flight school and accommodation so I just feel like it isn’t my place to ‘invite’ myself. I’m not the one training but I’m not sure if I’m over stepping! But I love my boyfriend and the thought of being away for so long does scare me a little.

Of course I could take annual leave within those 3 months and visit him for a week here and there.

Basically if I didn’t care what anyone else thought I would obviously go with him, but I’m so caught up with people thinking I’m ‘ needy’ or hindering his career!

Ladies ( or men) what would u do?

Reply 1

BurstingBubbles

Life & Style Forum Helper

If you can make it work and both want to go together then that makes sense. But also you'd hope that a strong relationship would last 3-5 months apart. My friend and her boyfriend managed him being away in America for a year during a uni placement - fast forward about 7 years and they're getting married next year so they managed to make that year work (I think she visited twice, would have liked to more but were on a uni budget).

I don't think there is a right or wrong choice here, chat it through as a couple openly and see what feels right. Also check with your work etc. too :smile:

Reply 2

Surnia

I had a year (and several time zones) apart from my boyfriend due to our different career paths, it was fine!

Your boyfriend will be at flight school during the day and studying at other times. If you went over to visit, how much time would he be able to devote to you, as it sounds like that is the main aim? You'd have to seriously think if it's realistic for your company to have a very short-term vacancy in the same location as the flight school and would organise and pay out for you going over and covering your job back here.

Look at going over if he has a break during the course or after he's finished and make a holiday of it.