Twenties
Out of curiosity, what advice would you give to someone in their twenties? Regardless of whether they're a student or not.
Out of curiosity, what advice would you give to someone in their twenties? Regardless of whether they're a student or not.
Some people don't grow out of their 20s, which is not a good thing.
General advice:
•
If you want to experiment with different careers, do it in your 20s before you have commitments like family or a mortgage
•
If you want to have kids, it's better if she is in her 20s or early 30s; it's an uphill battle after that
•
Invest early, but more importantly to learn about financial management and personal finance early
•
If you look after your body and live healthily in your 20s, your body will thank you by keeping it younger in your older years e.g. some 80 year olds look like they're 25. The signs of aging really show once you hit your 30s.
•
It's also possible to retire early if you want, but it's likely you won't want to - you'll get bored easily; pick a career you want
•
If you want to go for a career, go for one that you really want even if you weren't paid anything to do it
•
Your values would mean more to you than the number of zeros in your bank account
•
Bright light syndrome is a thing; don't let the glamour of the City life fool you; it's more expensive than it's worth - I would only move there if high paying work is there for me
•
Read books that would help you in later life; people tend to focus on finances, business, happiness, health, and relationships. Your pick.
•
Date people whilst you have the chance at a young age; it's usually very slim pickings after 30, not that it's easy at any age
•
Network with as many people as you can, but focus more on people who are in the industry that you want - this would help with finding work a lot
•
Learn the basic life skills that your school and parents never taught you; you would need these once you leave education - let me know if you want an idea of what these are
•
Stress is something that's supposed to be temporary; if it's chronic stress, then consider changing your circumstances
•
Life is shorter than you think it is, and time does fly the moment you hit your mid-20s
•
Life is not all black and white; the grey area will become more apparent as you live
•
FInd and learn from mentors and elders/people who have done what you want; they will save you years of your life - I sometimes ask for advice from people who have long marriages for example
•
Read and learn eclectically; you will learn things you never thought you would wanted to know
•
Remain humble at all times; it's a lot more difficult to learn and see things as they are when your mind is clouded
•
In the world of work, people can be superficial. It's for a good reason, but don't let it get to you.
•
Always work on yourself i.e. self development and learn new skills; you don't stop growing up and becoming a better person
•
Your ideas and thoughts will be challenged when you get into the world of work, be prepared for that
•
Learn marketable skills - these can pay you a lot; it's not your degree that will get you the money
•
Continue to develop intellectually - as well as deterring mental illnesses, it also helps you to develop as a person e.g. learn a language, play an instrument, etc.
•
If you can find your passion early, so much the better; only a handful of people would ever be so lucky. If you haven't found your passion, keep looking
•
Your personality would matter more in the workplace than your accomplishments - you could have 10x the revenue, but if you don't fit in your tenure is short lived
•
Be positive where possible
•
Don't let setbacks keep you down; the trick is to get back up - people regularly have setbacks throughout their lives, but the successful people don't let them hold them back, they learn from them
•
Learn from other people's mistakes as well as your own - where possible, learn from other people's more than your own
•
Where you have a decision you can't decide on, think which one would significantly give me more options or significantly better advantage?
•
There are more important things in life than money; you need to figure out what they are for you
•
Don't try to be significantly smarter than your manager
•
Beware of what sort of impression you give people - even if it's a positive one, make sure it's the type of positive that benefits you otherwise it can still come back and bite you
•
You don't have to reveal all of your cards when it's not appropriate
•
Be fair to others, but beware of some who try to take advantage of you
•
You can always learn from everyone from all walks of life; don't dismiss people just because you don't think they're not on your "level"
•
Office politics unfortunately takes precedence over meritocracy in most organisations, but if you want to get any results you would want to be more meritocratic
•
Even if you have a valid way (or even a better way) of doing things, it might not be the way the organisation/manager wants and that takes precedence over what you think (even if you can prove them wrong)
•
How the world works and how people work are 2 different things - it would be easier and more helpful if they both coincide but they don't necessarily and you would need to know about both to navigate through the world
•
Work smart before you work hard; you will have easier life that way
•
Maths and science would always trump opinions, irrespective if other people see it that way or not
•
Just because someone is in a low paying job or a junior role, it doesn't mean they know less than you; you can't always judge someone by their cover
I probably can include a lot more, but I am kind of drawing a blank at this moment in time so I would just leave it there
General advice:
•
If you want to experiment with different careers, do it in your 20s before you have commitments like family or a mortgage
•
If you want to have kids, it's better if she is in her 20s or early 30s; it's an uphill battle after that
•
Invest early, but more importantly to learn about financial management and personal finance early
•
If you look after your body and live healthily in your 20s, your body will thank you by keeping it younger in your older years e.g. some 80 year olds look like they're 25. The signs of aging really show once you hit your 30s.
•
It's also possible to retire early if you want, but it's likely you won't want to - you'll get bored easily; pick a career you want
•
If you want to go for a career, go for one that you really want even if you weren't paid anything to do it
•
Your values would mean more to you than the number of zeros in your bank account
•
Bright light syndrome is a thing; don't let the glamour of the City life fool you; it's more expensive than it's worth - I would only move there if high paying work is there for me
•
Read books that would help you in later life; people tend to focus on finances, business, happiness, health, and relationships. Your pick.
•
Date people whilst you have the chance at a young age; it's usually very slim pickings after 30, not that it's easy at any age
•
Network with as many people as you can, but focus more on people who are in the industry that you want - this would help with finding work a lot
•
Learn the basic life skills that your school and parents never taught you; you would need these once you leave education - let me know if you want an idea of what these are
•
Stress is something that's supposed to be temporary; if it's chronic stress, then consider changing your circumstances
•
Life is shorter than you think it is, and time does fly the moment you hit your mid-20s
•
Life is not all black and white; the grey area will become more apparent as you live
•
FInd and learn from mentors and elders/people who have done what you want; they will save you years of your life - I sometimes ask for advice from people who have long marriages for example
•
Read and learn eclectically; you will learn things you never thought you would wanted to know
•
Remain humble at all times; it's a lot more difficult to learn and see things as they are when your mind is clouded
•
In the world of work, people can be superficial. It's for a good reason, but don't let it get to you.
•
Always work on yourself i.e. self development and learn new skills; you don't stop growing up and becoming a better person
•
Your ideas and thoughts will be challenged when you get into the world of work, be prepared for that
•
Learn marketable skills - these can pay you a lot; it's not your degree that will get you the money
•
Continue to develop intellectually - as well as deterring mental illnesses, it also helps you to develop as a person e.g. learn a language, play an instrument, etc.
•
If you can find your passion early, so much the better; only a handful of people would ever be so lucky. If you haven't found your passion, keep looking
•
Your personality would matter more in the workplace than your accomplishments - you could have 10x the revenue, but if you don't fit in your tenure is short lived
•
Be positive where possible
•
Don't let setbacks keep you down; the trick is to get back up - people regularly have setbacks throughout their lives, but the successful people don't let them hold them back, they learn from them
•
Learn from other people's mistakes as well as your own - where possible, learn from other people's more than your own
•
Where you have a decision you can't decide on, think which one would significantly give me more options or significantly better advantage?
•
There are more important things in life than money; you need to figure out what they are for you
•
Don't try to be significantly smarter than your manager
•
Beware of what sort of impression you give people - even if it's a positive one, make sure it's the type of positive that benefits you otherwise it can still come back and bite you
•
You don't have to reveal all of your cards when it's not appropriate
•
Be fair to others, but beware of some who try to take advantage of you
•
You can always learn from everyone from all walks of life; don't dismiss people just because you don't think they're not on your "level"
•
Office politics unfortunately takes precedence over meritocracy in most organisations, but if you want to get any results you would want to be more meritocratic
•
Even if you have a valid way (or even a better way) of doing things, it might not be the way the organisation/manager wants and that takes precedence over what you think (even if you can prove them wrong)
•
How the world works and how people work are 2 different things - it would be easier and more helpful if they both coincide but they don't necessarily and you would need to know about both to navigate through the world
•
Work smart before you work hard; you will have easier life that way
•
Maths and science would always trump opinions, irrespective if other people see it that way or not
•
Just because someone is in a low paying job or a junior role, it doesn't mean they know less than you; you can't always judge someone by their cover
I probably can include a lot more, but I am kind of drawing a blank at this moment in time so I would just leave it there
Thank you for taking the time to write out such a long post! I've definitely learned a lot and can say that I've gained awareness of different aspects through your post.
I feel that I do practice a good majority of these points, but I will continue to work on myself and this will definitely be a post I'll revisit to read and take advice from! In one of your points you mentioned; 'Learn the basic life skills that your school and parents never taught you; you would need these once you leave education - let me know if you want an idea of what these are' - I was wondering if you can expand on this? - though I have a rough idea of what these could be. Thanks again
Thanks for your response! This is so true and really understandable
I feel that I do practice a good majority of these points, but I will continue to work on myself and this will definitely be a post I'll revisit to read and take advice from! In one of your points you mentioned; 'Learn the basic life skills that your school and parents never taught you; you would need these once you leave education - let me know if you want an idea of what these are' - I was wondering if you can expand on this? - though I have a rough idea of what these could be. Thanks again
I'm going to add a few more to the list:
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Even if you're doing something out of good will and selflessness, there needs to be something for you (at least one) otherwise you're not likely to follow through or not have a reason for doing so
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The world is a messed up place. However, just because everyone is mad, it doesn't mean you have to join in with them. Know when to step away and decide for yourself.
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If you want a promotion, you need to rub shoulders with the right people. If you want results, you need to be worth your salt. Sadly, some people will focus more on one or the other, but not both. You need both.
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If you're materialistic, you will attract superificial people. Just because you have something, it doesn't mean you need to show it off.
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In the real world, there's 1 million and 1 ways to skin a cat (metaphorically speaking). In the world of people, there's usually only one right way of doing things, and where you work involves people.
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Be careful in instances where you are required to interpret or make judgements. Each individual can interpret the same event or thing completely different to the next person e.g. you can have 10 doctors in a room, and a number of them would have completely different opinion to the other.
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Nothing is pure science or pure art; everything falls somewhere along the spectrum. Art forms require experience, but science doesn't. Systems are more akin to science, so if you want to replicate the same quality and remove the experience and skill requirements, set up systems.
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Learn to meditate - it's not only healthy but it can help you in various situations
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When everything hits the fans, be the calmest person in the room. You can't think clearly and take good decisive action when you're panicking.
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Everyone is a self proclaimed expert ex ante, but not everyone is remotely as competent in the moment
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When people have a problem with you, it's not always about you - it's sometimes about themselves, or both. Take everything with a grain of salt
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Maths, science, economics, finance, engineering, logic can be very powerful tools if you know how to use and apply the knowledge appropriately. Apply it incorrectly and you're in for a beating.
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If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room i.e. you have nothing to learn there
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Read up on strategies, be it war, chess, etc. These would help you think and make decisions differently
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Rights come with responsibilities. Responsibilities without rights are obligations/slavery.
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Just because something has always been done in a specific way, it doesn't mean that it's always correct or the best way.
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Before you change anything, make sure you understand why things are done the way they are.
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Just because something is not the best, it doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't deserve respect
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Tech can make boring and repetitive tasks a breeze - use where appropriate. You're needed for the creativity and judgement calls
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Not everything that's conventionally considered healthy is healthy; you need to read up on the literature
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Not everything you hear from experts is unbiased, but without the fundamental knowledge you won't be able to tell
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Experts are not always right, but they will know more than you e.g. a researcher might not be right, but he/she will definitely know more than the average Joe who is arguing on his/her every point
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Some things sounds too good to be true, but some things of those things are actually true. Don't dismiss everything.
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Don't overgeneralise without doing further study or have a deeper understanding
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Rules are not always fair; rules are made by humans and humans are subject to flaws. Having said that, that never gives you the permission to break them.
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A lot of things are a lot simpler than school has taught us they are; if it doesn't need to be complicated, don't make it so. Only complicate things to the extent that you can achieve the outcome you want. There is also a cost to making things more complex.
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Check on your mental health with counsellors where you need it. Everybody has psychological problems, but not working on yourself and getting help is only going to make it worse.
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When you do get counselling, seek life coaching at the same time. The former brings awareness; the latter gets you to take action to make the necessary changes
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Try not to work or study for more than 60 hours a week. 25 is ideal. 70 is when it really takes a toll on your health.
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People think and decide on emotions, and you need emotions to do so. People then justify with logic. The ordering of this can either work for you or against you.
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People expect you to think why somethings happen or why people act the way they do. The drawback of this method is that you're resting on various presumptions that are not necessarily true.
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If you have to lead, lead by inspiration/role model as opposed to commanding from the back. Nobody likes dictators, but everybody respect heroes.
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Don't have a set of rules for yourself and then another set for everybody else. That's a very quick way to lose credibility in a leadership role.
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Be careful of working for people who you can't trust
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True leaders take accountability for themselves and everybody under them. False leaders push responsibilties onto everybody else. True leaders are rare.
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The loudest people in the room aren't usually the scariest people in the room
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Choose your battles wisely. Not every battle is worth fighting for. Not every battle should be fought. Not every battle can be won. Don't fight everything and everyone. You can sometimes let things slide for good reasons. I can't tell you when to apply these.
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No matter how significant or small people are, they're all human. Treat them as such and they'll act like humans back to you.
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It's basic knowledge that if you want people to be aware of yourself/something, you need to tell people about it. However, what they don't tell you is that you don't need to broadcast it to everyone and not everyone needs or should know.
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Discretion is a sign of respect
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Genuine people are worth their weight in gold; if you can find them, treasure them
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You don't need a million and one friends; a handful of close ones can sometimes be enough. Just choose wisely.
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Helping people is great. What they don't tell you is that not everyone deserves help, and even if you should help them you need to help them in the right way; there's a wrong way of helping.
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Stoicism vs epucarian - be stoic when you need to build, but be Epicarian when you have finished building
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Entitlement is such a turn off - don't be the sort of people you never want to associate with
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Office politics can bring down entire organisations. I personally avoid it, but sometimes it can't be helped.
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Don't talk about your results before you have achieved it
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There's always someone smarter and better than you at something out there
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You don't get that many real opportunities in life that matter. When they do come along, think carefully before deciding.
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Check your assumptions about life and the world in general regularly
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Read Poor Charlie's Alamanac by Charlie Munger; good book on life lessons. Jordan Peterson's books are another good source.
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Think 10-12 steps ahead for something important. For something less important or routine, 5 steps is usually more than enough.
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Speed without accuracy is redundant. Effectiveness before effciency.
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It doesn't matter how big the organisation or ego is, if they break any significant rule concerning the basic economics, science, maths, or logic, you can watch them crumble (they might even argue with you how they are right as well).
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Organisations and businesses are not about money; it's about people. Putting people last is asking for trouble.
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Don't make life harder than it needs to be; it's hard enough as it is. The only times when you should choose the harder path is when it's concerning legal issues or goes against your values.
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Try to minimise regrets in your life.
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If you take care of the downsides, the upsides would take care of themselves. It's basic risk management.
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Don't risk something unless you can get 2-3x the return. Even then, don't risk it all or risk so much that it takes a significant toll on yourself.
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50:50 are not good odds. 80:20 are decent. 60:40 are passable.
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You don't need to be 100% sure to go ahead. 60% sure can sometimes be enough, and preferrably 80%. Just make sure you cover the downsides.
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Don't gamble. I never recommend it since it violates my principles and values. However, if you really need to, make sure you know and use statistics to your favour.
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Sins are not encouraged, but they exist for a reason. Only you know when it's appropriate to allow them for yourself.
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If you lose it all, you can lose everything material. What they can't take away from you are your experiences, skills, character, and knowledge. Who you are/become is more valuable than the things around you.
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Applied knowledge is probably more valuable than the money you make.
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Spend more on experiences than material things
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Try not to focus on more than 4 big things in any one day; you only have so much time and so much will power
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You usually only have 4 hours of actual productive time in any one day; do the more important things in those 4 hours where possible
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The things you should prioritise are those that propel you forward closer to your goals and the life you want; if they don't, they're secondary
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Plan for each day, and reflect on your day daily. Journalling is also good. You would at least get the important things done.
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If you're not being present, actively taking part, or actively deciding, you're not living life.
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Only you can determine the meaning in your life, but it must mean something to you. If it doesn't mean anything to you, then something needs to change. Don't live the life everybody else wants you to live.
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Adulting is hard; not everyone is good at it, not everyone has mastered it even at old age. It's OK to seek help and advice.
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It's said that life is made up of decisions. If you're not deciding, you're not living.
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Making decisions takes up will power; if it's not an important decision, put together a default and save your willpower for the more important decisions
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Not all books are worth reading. Not all people are worth listening to. I can't tell you who you should listen to or what books you should read. You also don't have time to go over every one of them. However, there are those who managed to achieve a lot from listening or reading up on certain advice. Success leaves clues, and I often choose to model success.
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Figure out what success looks like for you. Everyone's definition of it can vary.
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You don't really know someone until you talk to them. You can't build a relationship without communication of any kind.
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Play stupid mind games win stupid prizes, yet people still play them.
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Don't put yourself in situations where you can't win. For that matter, don't put people in situations where nobody can win. The best situations are where multiple people win, including yourself. It also doesn't hurt that some people win more than you, so long you win a decent share.
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Don't go into situations where you think how can I get back at someone. Instead think how I can deflect or mitigate the problems they can give me (ideally without hurting others)
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What some people think is fair is not actually always fair
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If the best case scenario is you putting in several times more than you getting back, ask yourself whether it's still worth it (sometimes it is, but oftentimes it's not).
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A house needs to be built on solid foundations (something from the Bible). You would often come back to the same foundations like 80% of the time. When you train, you go back to the fundamentals. You don't always need to use the more advanced stuff, but they are useful to have when the occasion does come up. Never neglect the foundation, no matter how high you climb.
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Plan for contingencies. However, you don't need to usually Plans D-Z. Often Plan A-C are enough e.g. Plan A 80% of the time, B 15%, C 5%. If you plan properly and plan well, Plan A alone should do the job.
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Do things with an intention or goal in mind. If you don't, you're just being reactionary i.e. you're not important or the thing you're doing is not important (in which case, why are you doing it?)
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When dating, ask yourself can you see yourself being with this person in the next 5 to 10 years? If you can't, why are you in the relationship?
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Date for personality over looks. Whilst looks play a part, personality plays a bigger part and is usually more important in the long run.
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When checking for compatibility, you're checking for values, life goals, and what you want in the relationship. You're not checking for opinions on politics, common interests, etc.
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There's a lesson behind every relationship. If you don't learn from those lessons, like history, you're doomed to repeat it. Having said that, make sure you're learning the right lessons; you can learn the wrong ones which can also set you back.
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It's surprisingly little that you need to do/have to become someone people want to date. You don't actually need to move mountains. If you do move mountains, be careful that you're setting yourself up being someone that they think is too good for them.
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Time is money only if you're doing something that actually earns that money, otherwise you're just blowing hot air.
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Earning money is not the same thing as making money. Earning money implies you spend time in exchange for money. Making money implies you're exchanging value for money.
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When buying things, you don't always need to buy the cheapest (you sometimes get what you paid for), but it needs to adequately meet your needs. If you do buy something, buy it for the value for money that you get. If there's something about it that you don't value, then you shouldn't have to pay extra for that.
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If you have nothing and know nothing, the first step is to invest in yourself (knowledge, skills, etc.) before you invest in things.
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You would be surprised by how much of life is actually psychology and very little technicality. If you have the right mindset and know how to influence people, you can actually get pretty far in life. In contrast, the technical skills don't get you as far.
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When doing exams, your performance can be down to 40% knowledge, 40% mindset, 20% strategy. Mindset can make up a big chunk of the outcome; make sure you have the right mindset
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An amazing product can still sell well with mediocre to bad marketing. An appauling product and not even the best marketer on the planet can make it work. Make sure what you are offering - be it idea, yourself, an actual product - is good enough first.
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The right internship can often be more important than getting any high paying job.
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Being a gentleman/lady is also about respecting oneself as well as respecting others. It's not a sign of weakness, but others can see it that way. Don't stoop to the level of those belittling you unless you need to for very good reasons (oftentimes it's not worth it).
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Always remember those who were beside you when you were at your lowest. Make sure to reward and appreciate them when you have reached your highest (chances are they won't even ask for anything back, even if they deserve the world). It's kind of like the saying "women are tested when men have nothing, and the men are tested when they have everything", but this is more general and applies to friends, associates, etc.
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Sometimes a stranger can be kinder and more honest than a family or friend. Even then, be careful of who you trust.
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Trust people slowly, but not so slow that everything is at snail pace. Also trust, but verify/tie down the camels.
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In the world, there's about 5% of people who can make your life living hell. The rest of the population can actually be decent people. Don't let the 5% ruin it for the remaining 95%. The odds even out in the long run.
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Really bad days can just be a product of some bad problems/decisions that have compounded over time and they all happen at the same time. If those problems were managed well and managed properly, everything shouldn't have collapsed like dominoes.
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Everybody is responsible for their own lives. Don't assume responsibility for someone else (unless it's for your kid or someone vulnerable). Don't push responsibilities onto someone else.
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Someone who looks after others is attractive, be it a guy protecting others or a woman caring/nurturing others (I'm assuming pronouns and genders here, but feel free to change what you assume for yourself).
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Don't take advantage of others; it usually comes back to haunt you.
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Don't ask for the moon and stars if you can't deliver you end of the bargain. Deals are made roughly fair and square, otherwise people will feel cheated.
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People usually grow at their own pace. Forcing people to grow excessively beyond what they want or feel ready for usually doesn't help.
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Perfectionism can be exhausting and very individual i.e. it's an art form. If you need to be perfect all the time, you will end up being tired and resentful.
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Not everyone is perfect, and don't expect them to be. If you keep expecting people to be perfect, then can tire very quickly. They do need to be good enough.
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Try not to make mistakes where possible. Minimising mistakes can be one the easiest ways to improve at minimal cost e.g. exams where you can get a lot of marks by minimising mistakes
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There's more than one way to buy a house. As I am not a regulated professional, I can't tell you what they are.
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When arguing about something, make sure you know what the opposition is arguing about before you argue for your side. Mindless arguments leads nowhere and resolves nothing.
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When people say something, they want to be heard irrespective of whether they're right or wrong. Acknowledge their point before you say anything else
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Be compliant to rules and regulations. Non compliance is like having a shield full of holes; each one can be fatal.
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Have fun in life every now and again. Life is generally boring as it is; don't make your life more boring than it needs to be.
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Money won't solve all your problems. Just as you don't solve problems by throwing money at it, you can't sort everything out with just money. Money is more like an amplifier. Any good or bad things that you have in your life, the more money you have the bigger they get. Sort out your problems before you sort out your finances i.e. if you can do good with a little, you can usually do good with a lot.
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Some people have an ideal figure where they would be comfortable with i.e. not everyone needs or wants to be a billionaire in order to be OK. What's your figure?
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Being a billionaire can also take a huge toll and requires you to go the extra mile. Are you willing to go the distance and make the right compromises? If not, think this through carefully about whether you want to be one.
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When you have everything, you suddenly find yourself in the midst of a lot more friends and family than you thought you have. Be careful of who you trust and what you tell others.
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I personally would forgo certain good deals if it means I compromise certain relationships. I could always make money, but I can't always have certain relationships. Know where you stand on this.
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Having the right partner is more important than having just any partner - in any context. Be careful of who you associate, work, and have relationships with.
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Look up Steven Covey's matrix on how to prioritise your work (a bit of time management)
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I personally would rather train the right person with the right values who knows nothing and have no skills, than employ or have someone who is an expert but the wrong person with the wrong values. A toxic competent person can cost you a lot more than an incompetent one.
I should probably stop there, otherwise I could end up writing an entire book. There's probably a lot more, but I rather not spam the thread.
If you want something specific to university studies, let me know.
The sort of life skills and knowledge that I advocate that all kids and adults should know include:
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Basic maintenance e.g. plumbing, electrician, cars, gas, DIY
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How to dress properly and apply appropriate makeup, including colour coordination
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Speed reading
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Touch typing
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Effective note taking (not jot everything down) and revision (not reread everything) techniques, how to study (not passively read something), effective exam strategies
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How to apply maths to everyday situations
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How to cook properly instead of following recipes and instructions and basic hygiene e.g. how do you know meat is cooked? When to throw food out? When is something ripe? When is something not safe to eat?
•
Financial management (some schools do teach this, but often not to the level that I think is adequate) and how to make logical financial decisions
•
Basic law and where and how to find such information if you're not sure on something
•
Chemicals around the house
•
People skills e.g. social, persuasion, negotiation, relationships, dating
•
What a healthy relationship looks like
•
How to write properly outside of school and the types of styles of writing
•
Etiquette - local and international
•
Survival skills
•
Effective CV writing - not how it's taught, as well as how to effectively get a job
•
How to research
•
How to entertain guests
•
How to shave and basic grooming
•
How to walk properly, dance
•
How to ride a bike, fix a bike
•
How to garden and grow your own food properly - good for general health to farm food as well as saving money and knowing what good produce looks like
•
How to drink alcohol and how to manage drinking/drink responsibly
•
How to quit addictions or habits
•
How to fix a computer (basics)
•
How to breathe and meditate - could have really helped with some primary school kids
•
How to travel and not get lost
•
Producitivity and time management
•
Emotional intelligence
•
How to think creatively - not just in creative subjects, IT, maths, etc. There is a process involved
•
How to think for yourself/independently
•
How to find your passion and develop self awareness
•
How to know if something is wrong or off for you
•
How to learn something by yourself, especially if it's something completely new to you
•
How to make good decisions
•
How to think and the different ways of thinking
•
Practicing good mental health
•
How to become a better person and self development in general
•
Sex education that goes beyond the basic sex health
There's probably more to the list, but the rest has somewhat escaped my mind. I might add them in later at some point.
I would also rather not get into the debate since it's going to open up a number of cans of worms.
•
Even if you're doing something out of good will and selflessness, there needs to be something for you (at least one) otherwise you're not likely to follow through or not have a reason for doing so
•
The world is a messed up place. However, just because everyone is mad, it doesn't mean you have to join in with them. Know when to step away and decide for yourself.
•
If you want a promotion, you need to rub shoulders with the right people. If you want results, you need to be worth your salt. Sadly, some people will focus more on one or the other, but not both. You need both.
•
If you're materialistic, you will attract superificial people. Just because you have something, it doesn't mean you need to show it off.
•
In the real world, there's 1 million and 1 ways to skin a cat (metaphorically speaking). In the world of people, there's usually only one right way of doing things, and where you work involves people.
•
Be careful in instances where you are required to interpret or make judgements. Each individual can interpret the same event or thing completely different to the next person e.g. you can have 10 doctors in a room, and a number of them would have completely different opinion to the other.
•
Nothing is pure science or pure art; everything falls somewhere along the spectrum. Art forms require experience, but science doesn't. Systems are more akin to science, so if you want to replicate the same quality and remove the experience and skill requirements, set up systems.
•
Learn to meditate - it's not only healthy but it can help you in various situations
•
When everything hits the fans, be the calmest person in the room. You can't think clearly and take good decisive action when you're panicking.
•
Everyone is a self proclaimed expert ex ante, but not everyone is remotely as competent in the moment
•
When people have a problem with you, it's not always about you - it's sometimes about themselves, or both. Take everything with a grain of salt
•
Maths, science, economics, finance, engineering, logic can be very powerful tools if you know how to use and apply the knowledge appropriately. Apply it incorrectly and you're in for a beating.
•
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room i.e. you have nothing to learn there
•
Read up on strategies, be it war, chess, etc. These would help you think and make decisions differently
•
Rights come with responsibilities. Responsibilities without rights are obligations/slavery.
•
Just because something has always been done in a specific way, it doesn't mean that it's always correct or the best way.
•
Before you change anything, make sure you understand why things are done the way they are.
•
Just because something is not the best, it doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't deserve respect
•
Tech can make boring and repetitive tasks a breeze - use where appropriate. You're needed for the creativity and judgement calls
•
Not everything that's conventionally considered healthy is healthy; you need to read up on the literature
•
Not everything you hear from experts is unbiased, but without the fundamental knowledge you won't be able to tell
•
Experts are not always right, but they will know more than you e.g. a researcher might not be right, but he/she will definitely know more than the average Joe who is arguing on his/her every point
•
Some things sounds too good to be true, but some things of those things are actually true. Don't dismiss everything.
•
Don't overgeneralise without doing further study or have a deeper understanding
•
Rules are not always fair; rules are made by humans and humans are subject to flaws. Having said that, that never gives you the permission to break them.
•
A lot of things are a lot simpler than school has taught us they are; if it doesn't need to be complicated, don't make it so. Only complicate things to the extent that you can achieve the outcome you want. There is also a cost to making things more complex.
•
Check on your mental health with counsellors where you need it. Everybody has psychological problems, but not working on yourself and getting help is only going to make it worse.
•
When you do get counselling, seek life coaching at the same time. The former brings awareness; the latter gets you to take action to make the necessary changes
•
Try not to work or study for more than 60 hours a week. 25 is ideal. 70 is when it really takes a toll on your health.
•
People think and decide on emotions, and you need emotions to do so. People then justify with logic. The ordering of this can either work for you or against you.
•
People expect you to think why somethings happen or why people act the way they do. The drawback of this method is that you're resting on various presumptions that are not necessarily true.
•
If you have to lead, lead by inspiration/role model as opposed to commanding from the back. Nobody likes dictators, but everybody respect heroes.
•
Don't have a set of rules for yourself and then another set for everybody else. That's a very quick way to lose credibility in a leadership role.
•
Be careful of working for people who you can't trust
•
True leaders take accountability for themselves and everybody under them. False leaders push responsibilties onto everybody else. True leaders are rare.
•
The loudest people in the room aren't usually the scariest people in the room
•
Choose your battles wisely. Not every battle is worth fighting for. Not every battle should be fought. Not every battle can be won. Don't fight everything and everyone. You can sometimes let things slide for good reasons. I can't tell you when to apply these.
•
No matter how significant or small people are, they're all human. Treat them as such and they'll act like humans back to you.
•
It's basic knowledge that if you want people to be aware of yourself/something, you need to tell people about it. However, what they don't tell you is that you don't need to broadcast it to everyone and not everyone needs or should know.
•
Discretion is a sign of respect
•
Genuine people are worth their weight in gold; if you can find them, treasure them
•
You don't need a million and one friends; a handful of close ones can sometimes be enough. Just choose wisely.
•
Helping people is great. What they don't tell you is that not everyone deserves help, and even if you should help them you need to help them in the right way; there's a wrong way of helping.
•
Stoicism vs epucarian - be stoic when you need to build, but be Epicarian when you have finished building
•
Entitlement is such a turn off - don't be the sort of people you never want to associate with
•
Office politics can bring down entire organisations. I personally avoid it, but sometimes it can't be helped.
•
Don't talk about your results before you have achieved it
•
There's always someone smarter and better than you at something out there
•
You don't get that many real opportunities in life that matter. When they do come along, think carefully before deciding.
•
Check your assumptions about life and the world in general regularly
•
Read Poor Charlie's Alamanac by Charlie Munger; good book on life lessons. Jordan Peterson's books are another good source.
•
Think 10-12 steps ahead for something important. For something less important or routine, 5 steps is usually more than enough.
•
Speed without accuracy is redundant. Effectiveness before effciency.
•
It doesn't matter how big the organisation or ego is, if they break any significant rule concerning the basic economics, science, maths, or logic, you can watch them crumble (they might even argue with you how they are right as well).
•
Organisations and businesses are not about money; it's about people. Putting people last is asking for trouble.
•
Don't make life harder than it needs to be; it's hard enough as it is. The only times when you should choose the harder path is when it's concerning legal issues or goes against your values.
•
Try to minimise regrets in your life.
•
If you take care of the downsides, the upsides would take care of themselves. It's basic risk management.
•
Don't risk something unless you can get 2-3x the return. Even then, don't risk it all or risk so much that it takes a significant toll on yourself.
•
50:50 are not good odds. 80:20 are decent. 60:40 are passable.
•
You don't need to be 100% sure to go ahead. 60% sure can sometimes be enough, and preferrably 80%. Just make sure you cover the downsides.
•
Don't gamble. I never recommend it since it violates my principles and values. However, if you really need to, make sure you know and use statistics to your favour.
•
Sins are not encouraged, but they exist for a reason. Only you know when it's appropriate to allow them for yourself.
•
If you lose it all, you can lose everything material. What they can't take away from you are your experiences, skills, character, and knowledge. Who you are/become is more valuable than the things around you.
•
Applied knowledge is probably more valuable than the money you make.
•
Spend more on experiences than material things
•
Try not to focus on more than 4 big things in any one day; you only have so much time and so much will power
•
You usually only have 4 hours of actual productive time in any one day; do the more important things in those 4 hours where possible
•
The things you should prioritise are those that propel you forward closer to your goals and the life you want; if they don't, they're secondary
•
Plan for each day, and reflect on your day daily. Journalling is also good. You would at least get the important things done.
•
If you're not being present, actively taking part, or actively deciding, you're not living life.
•
Only you can determine the meaning in your life, but it must mean something to you. If it doesn't mean anything to you, then something needs to change. Don't live the life everybody else wants you to live.
•
Adulting is hard; not everyone is good at it, not everyone has mastered it even at old age. It's OK to seek help and advice.
•
It's said that life is made up of decisions. If you're not deciding, you're not living.
•
Making decisions takes up will power; if it's not an important decision, put together a default and save your willpower for the more important decisions
•
Not all books are worth reading. Not all people are worth listening to. I can't tell you who you should listen to or what books you should read. You also don't have time to go over every one of them. However, there are those who managed to achieve a lot from listening or reading up on certain advice. Success leaves clues, and I often choose to model success.
•
Figure out what success looks like for you. Everyone's definition of it can vary.
•
You don't really know someone until you talk to them. You can't build a relationship without communication of any kind.
•
Play stupid mind games win stupid prizes, yet people still play them.
•
Don't put yourself in situations where you can't win. For that matter, don't put people in situations where nobody can win. The best situations are where multiple people win, including yourself. It also doesn't hurt that some people win more than you, so long you win a decent share.
•
Don't go into situations where you think how can I get back at someone. Instead think how I can deflect or mitigate the problems they can give me (ideally without hurting others)
•
What some people think is fair is not actually always fair
•
If the best case scenario is you putting in several times more than you getting back, ask yourself whether it's still worth it (sometimes it is, but oftentimes it's not).
•
A house needs to be built on solid foundations (something from the Bible). You would often come back to the same foundations like 80% of the time. When you train, you go back to the fundamentals. You don't always need to use the more advanced stuff, but they are useful to have when the occasion does come up. Never neglect the foundation, no matter how high you climb.
•
Plan for contingencies. However, you don't need to usually Plans D-Z. Often Plan A-C are enough e.g. Plan A 80% of the time, B 15%, C 5%. If you plan properly and plan well, Plan A alone should do the job.
•
Do things with an intention or goal in mind. If you don't, you're just being reactionary i.e. you're not important or the thing you're doing is not important (in which case, why are you doing it?)
•
When dating, ask yourself can you see yourself being with this person in the next 5 to 10 years? If you can't, why are you in the relationship?
•
Date for personality over looks. Whilst looks play a part, personality plays a bigger part and is usually more important in the long run.
•
When checking for compatibility, you're checking for values, life goals, and what you want in the relationship. You're not checking for opinions on politics, common interests, etc.
•
There's a lesson behind every relationship. If you don't learn from those lessons, like history, you're doomed to repeat it. Having said that, make sure you're learning the right lessons; you can learn the wrong ones which can also set you back.
•
It's surprisingly little that you need to do/have to become someone people want to date. You don't actually need to move mountains. If you do move mountains, be careful that you're setting yourself up being someone that they think is too good for them.
•
Time is money only if you're doing something that actually earns that money, otherwise you're just blowing hot air.
•
Earning money is not the same thing as making money. Earning money implies you spend time in exchange for money. Making money implies you're exchanging value for money.
•
When buying things, you don't always need to buy the cheapest (you sometimes get what you paid for), but it needs to adequately meet your needs. If you do buy something, buy it for the value for money that you get. If there's something about it that you don't value, then you shouldn't have to pay extra for that.
•
If you have nothing and know nothing, the first step is to invest in yourself (knowledge, skills, etc.) before you invest in things.
•
You would be surprised by how much of life is actually psychology and very little technicality. If you have the right mindset and know how to influence people, you can actually get pretty far in life. In contrast, the technical skills don't get you as far.
•
When doing exams, your performance can be down to 40% knowledge, 40% mindset, 20% strategy. Mindset can make up a big chunk of the outcome; make sure you have the right mindset
•
An amazing product can still sell well with mediocre to bad marketing. An appauling product and not even the best marketer on the planet can make it work. Make sure what you are offering - be it idea, yourself, an actual product - is good enough first.
•
The right internship can often be more important than getting any high paying job.
•
Being a gentleman/lady is also about respecting oneself as well as respecting others. It's not a sign of weakness, but others can see it that way. Don't stoop to the level of those belittling you unless you need to for very good reasons (oftentimes it's not worth it).
•
Always remember those who were beside you when you were at your lowest. Make sure to reward and appreciate them when you have reached your highest (chances are they won't even ask for anything back, even if they deserve the world). It's kind of like the saying "women are tested when men have nothing, and the men are tested when they have everything", but this is more general and applies to friends, associates, etc.
•
Sometimes a stranger can be kinder and more honest than a family or friend. Even then, be careful of who you trust.
•
Trust people slowly, but not so slow that everything is at snail pace. Also trust, but verify/tie down the camels.
•
In the world, there's about 5% of people who can make your life living hell. The rest of the population can actually be decent people. Don't let the 5% ruin it for the remaining 95%. The odds even out in the long run.
•
Really bad days can just be a product of some bad problems/decisions that have compounded over time and they all happen at the same time. If those problems were managed well and managed properly, everything shouldn't have collapsed like dominoes.
•
Everybody is responsible for their own lives. Don't assume responsibility for someone else (unless it's for your kid or someone vulnerable). Don't push responsibilities onto someone else.
•
Someone who looks after others is attractive, be it a guy protecting others or a woman caring/nurturing others (I'm assuming pronouns and genders here, but feel free to change what you assume for yourself).
•
Don't take advantage of others; it usually comes back to haunt you.
•
Don't ask for the moon and stars if you can't deliver you end of the bargain. Deals are made roughly fair and square, otherwise people will feel cheated.
•
People usually grow at their own pace. Forcing people to grow excessively beyond what they want or feel ready for usually doesn't help.
•
Perfectionism can be exhausting and very individual i.e. it's an art form. If you need to be perfect all the time, you will end up being tired and resentful.
•
Not everyone is perfect, and don't expect them to be. If you keep expecting people to be perfect, then can tire very quickly. They do need to be good enough.
•
Try not to make mistakes where possible. Minimising mistakes can be one the easiest ways to improve at minimal cost e.g. exams where you can get a lot of marks by minimising mistakes
•
There's more than one way to buy a house. As I am not a regulated professional, I can't tell you what they are.
•
When arguing about something, make sure you know what the opposition is arguing about before you argue for your side. Mindless arguments leads nowhere and resolves nothing.
•
When people say something, they want to be heard irrespective of whether they're right or wrong. Acknowledge their point before you say anything else
•
Be compliant to rules and regulations. Non compliance is like having a shield full of holes; each one can be fatal.
•
Have fun in life every now and again. Life is generally boring as it is; don't make your life more boring than it needs to be.
•
Money won't solve all your problems. Just as you don't solve problems by throwing money at it, you can't sort everything out with just money. Money is more like an amplifier. Any good or bad things that you have in your life, the more money you have the bigger they get. Sort out your problems before you sort out your finances i.e. if you can do good with a little, you can usually do good with a lot.
•
Some people have an ideal figure where they would be comfortable with i.e. not everyone needs or wants to be a billionaire in order to be OK. What's your figure?
•
Being a billionaire can also take a huge toll and requires you to go the extra mile. Are you willing to go the distance and make the right compromises? If not, think this through carefully about whether you want to be one.
•
When you have everything, you suddenly find yourself in the midst of a lot more friends and family than you thought you have. Be careful of who you trust and what you tell others.
•
I personally would forgo certain good deals if it means I compromise certain relationships. I could always make money, but I can't always have certain relationships. Know where you stand on this.
•
Having the right partner is more important than having just any partner - in any context. Be careful of who you associate, work, and have relationships with.
•
Look up Steven Covey's matrix on how to prioritise your work (a bit of time management)
•
I personally would rather train the right person with the right values who knows nothing and have no skills, than employ or have someone who is an expert but the wrong person with the wrong values. A toxic competent person can cost you a lot more than an incompetent one.
I should probably stop there, otherwise I could end up writing an entire book. There's probably a lot more, but I rather not spam the thread.
If you want something specific to university studies, let me know.
The sort of life skills and knowledge that I advocate that all kids and adults should know include:
•
Basic maintenance e.g. plumbing, electrician, cars, gas, DIY
•
How to dress properly and apply appropriate makeup, including colour coordination
•
Speed reading
•
Touch typing
•
Effective note taking (not jot everything down) and revision (not reread everything) techniques, how to study (not passively read something), effective exam strategies
•
How to apply maths to everyday situations
•
How to cook properly instead of following recipes and instructions and basic hygiene e.g. how do you know meat is cooked? When to throw food out? When is something ripe? When is something not safe to eat?
•
Financial management (some schools do teach this, but often not to the level that I think is adequate) and how to make logical financial decisions
•
Basic law and where and how to find such information if you're not sure on something
•
Chemicals around the house
•
People skills e.g. social, persuasion, negotiation, relationships, dating
•
What a healthy relationship looks like
•
How to write properly outside of school and the types of styles of writing
•
Etiquette - local and international
•
Survival skills
•
Effective CV writing - not how it's taught, as well as how to effectively get a job
•
How to research
•
How to entertain guests
•
How to shave and basic grooming
•
How to walk properly, dance
•
How to ride a bike, fix a bike
•
How to garden and grow your own food properly - good for general health to farm food as well as saving money and knowing what good produce looks like
•
How to drink alcohol and how to manage drinking/drink responsibly
•
How to quit addictions or habits
•
How to fix a computer (basics)
•
How to breathe and meditate - could have really helped with some primary school kids
•
How to travel and not get lost
•
Producitivity and time management
•
Emotional intelligence
•
How to think creatively - not just in creative subjects, IT, maths, etc. There is a process involved
•
How to think for yourself/independently
•
How to find your passion and develop self awareness
•
How to know if something is wrong or off for you
•
How to learn something by yourself, especially if it's something completely new to you
•
How to make good decisions
•
How to think and the different ways of thinking
•
Practicing good mental health
•
How to become a better person and self development in general
•
Sex education that goes beyond the basic sex health
There's probably more to the list, but the rest has somewhat escaped my mind. I might add them in later at some point.
I would also rather not get into the debate since it's going to open up a number of cans of worms.
Just remembered a few more things to add to the list of things every kid and adult should know:
•
How to buy a house, including mortgage, life assurance, etc.
•
What are rights for tenants
•
How to apply for a loan
•
How to set up a business
•
Employment rights
•
Laws arround rape - particularly topical
•
How to solve problems - not talking about group projects, maths problems, or minor inconveniences; actual problems e.g. world problems, business problems
•
How to pick careers
•
Paternity tests and geneaology
•
Basic self defence as well as the law around it
•
Even if you're doing something out of good will and selflessness, there needs to be something for you (at least one) otherwise you're not likely to follow through or not have a reason for doing so
•
The world is a messed up place. However, just because everyone is mad, it doesn't mean you have to join in with them. Know when to step away and decide for yourself.
•
If you want a promotion, you need to rub shoulders with the right people. If you want results, you need to be worth your salt. Sadly, some people will focus more on one or the other, but not both. You need both.
•
If you're materialistic, you will attract superificial people. Just because you have something, it doesn't mean you need to show it off.
•
In the real world, there's 1 million and 1 ways to skin a cat (metaphorically speaking). In the world of people, there's usually only one right way of doing things, and where you work involves people.
•
Be careful in instances where you are required to interpret or make judgements. Each individual can interpret the same event or thing completely different to the next person e.g. you can have 10 doctors in a room, and a number of them would have completely different opinion to the other.
•
Nothing is pure science or pure art; everything falls somewhere along the spectrum. Art forms require experience, but science doesn't. Systems are more akin to science, so if you want to replicate the same quality and remove the experience and skill requirements, set up systems.
•
Learn to meditate - it's not only healthy but it can help you in various situations
•
When everything hits the fans, be the calmest person in the room. You can't think clearly and take good decisive action when you're panicking.
•
Everyone is a self proclaimed expert ex ante, but not everyone is remotely as competent in the moment
•
When people have a problem with you, it's not always about you - it's sometimes about themselves, or both. Take everything with a grain of salt
•
Maths, science, economics, finance, engineering, logic can be very powerful tools if you know how to use and apply the knowledge appropriately. Apply it incorrectly and you're in for a beating.
•
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room i.e. you have nothing to learn there
•
Read up on strategies, be it war, chess, etc. These would help you think and make decisions differently
•
Rights come with responsibilities. Responsibilities without rights are obligations/slavery.
•
Just because something has always been done in a specific way, it doesn't mean that it's always correct or the best way.
•
Before you change anything, make sure you understand why things are done the way they are.
•
Just because something is not the best, it doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't deserve respect
•
Tech can make boring and repetitive tasks a breeze - use where appropriate. You're needed for the creativity and judgement calls
•
Not everything that's conventionally considered healthy is healthy; you need to read up on the literature
•
Not everything you hear from experts is unbiased, but without the fundamental knowledge you won't be able to tell
•
Experts are not always right, but they will know more than you e.g. a researcher might not be right, but he/she will definitely know more than the average Joe who is arguing on his/her every point
•
Some things sounds too good to be true, but some things of those things are actually true. Don't dismiss everything.
•
Don't overgeneralise without doing further study or have a deeper understanding
•
Rules are not always fair; rules are made by humans and humans are subject to flaws. Having said that, that never gives you the permission to break them.
•
A lot of things are a lot simpler than school has taught us they are; if it doesn't need to be complicated, don't make it so. Only complicate things to the extent that you can achieve the outcome you want. There is also a cost to making things more complex.
•
Check on your mental health with counsellors where you need it. Everybody has psychological problems, but not working on yourself and getting help is only going to make it worse.
•
When you do get counselling, seek life coaching at the same time. The former brings awareness; the latter gets you to take action to make the necessary changes
•
Try not to work or study for more than 60 hours a week. 25 is ideal. 70 is when it really takes a toll on your health.
•
People think and decide on emotions, and you need emotions to do so. People then justify with logic. The ordering of this can either work for you or against you.
•
People expect you to think why somethings happen or why people act the way they do. The drawback of this method is that you're resting on various presumptions that are not necessarily true.
•
If you have to lead, lead by inspiration/role model as opposed to commanding from the back. Nobody likes dictators, but everybody respect heroes.
•
Don't have a set of rules for yourself and then another set for everybody else. That's a very quick way to lose credibility in a leadership role.
•
Be careful of working for people who you can't trust
•
True leaders take accountability for themselves and everybody under them. False leaders push responsibilties onto everybody else. True leaders are rare.
•
The loudest people in the room aren't usually the scariest people in the room
•
Choose your battles wisely. Not every battle is worth fighting for. Not every battle should be fought. Not every battle can be won. Don't fight everything and everyone. You can sometimes let things slide for good reasons. I can't tell you when to apply these.
•
No matter how significant or small people are, they're all human. Treat them as such and they'll act like humans back to you.
•
It's basic knowledge that if you want people to be aware of yourself/something, you need to tell people about it. However, what they don't tell you is that you don't need to broadcast it to everyone and not everyone needs or should know.
•
Discretion is a sign of respect
•
Genuine people are worth their weight in gold; if you can find them, treasure them
•
You don't need a million and one friends; a handful of close ones can sometimes be enough. Just choose wisely.
•
Helping people is great. What they don't tell you is that not everyone deserves help, and even if you should help them you need to help them in the right way; there's a wrong way of helping.
•
Stoicism vs epucarian - be stoic when you need to build, but be Epicarian when you have finished building
•
Entitlement is such a turn off - don't be the sort of people you never want to associate with
•
Office politics can bring down entire organisations. I personally avoid it, but sometimes it can't be helped.
•
Don't talk about your results before you have achieved it
•
There's always someone smarter and better than you at something out there
•
You don't get that many real opportunities in life that matter. When they do come along, think carefully before deciding.
•
Check your assumptions about life and the world in general regularly
•
Read Poor Charlie's Alamanac by Charlie Munger; good book on life lessons. Jordan Peterson's books are another good source.
•
Think 10-12 steps ahead for something important. For something less important or routine, 5 steps is usually more than enough.
•
Speed without accuracy is redundant. Effectiveness before effciency.
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It doesn't matter how big the organisation or ego is, if they break any significant rule concerning the basic economics, science, maths, or logic, you can watch them crumble (they might even argue with you how they are right as well).
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Organisations and businesses are not about money; it's about people. Putting people last is asking for trouble.
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Don't make life harder than it needs to be; it's hard enough as it is. The only times when you should choose the harder path is when it's concerning legal issues or goes against your values.
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Try to minimise regrets in your life.
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If you take care of the downsides, the upsides would take care of themselves. It's basic risk management.
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Don't risk something unless you can get 2-3x the return. Even then, don't risk it all or risk so much that it takes a significant toll on yourself.
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50:50 are not good odds. 80:20 are decent. 60:40 are passable.
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You don't need to be 100% sure to go ahead. 60% sure can sometimes be enough, and preferrably 80%. Just make sure you cover the downsides.
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Don't gamble. I never recommend it since it violates my principles and values. However, if you really need to, make sure you know and use statistics to your favour.
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Sins are not encouraged, but they exist for a reason. Only you know when it's appropriate to allow them for yourself.
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If you lose it all, you can lose everything material. What they can't take away from you are your experiences, skills, character, and knowledge. Who you are/become is more valuable than the things around you.
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Applied knowledge is probably more valuable than the money you make.
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Spend more on experiences than material things
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Try not to focus on more than 4 big things in any one day; you only have so much time and so much will power
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You usually only have 4 hours of actual productive time in any one day; do the more important things in those 4 hours where possible
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The things you should prioritise are those that propel you forward closer to your goals and the life you want; if they don't, they're secondary
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Plan for each day, and reflect on your day daily. Journalling is also good. You would at least get the important things done.
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If you're not being present, actively taking part, or actively deciding, you're not living life.
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Only you can determine the meaning in your life, but it must mean something to you. If it doesn't mean anything to you, then something needs to change. Don't live the life everybody else wants you to live.
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Adulting is hard; not everyone is good at it, not everyone has mastered it even at old age. It's OK to seek help and advice.
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It's said that life is made up of decisions. If you're not deciding, you're not living.
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Making decisions takes up will power; if it's not an important decision, put together a default and save your willpower for the more important decisions
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Not all books are worth reading. Not all people are worth listening to. I can't tell you who you should listen to or what books you should read. You also don't have time to go over every one of them. However, there are those who managed to achieve a lot from listening or reading up on certain advice. Success leaves clues, and I often choose to model success.
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Figure out what success looks like for you. Everyone's definition of it can vary.
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You don't really know someone until you talk to them. You can't build a relationship without communication of any kind.
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Play stupid mind games win stupid prizes, yet people still play them.
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Don't put yourself in situations where you can't win. For that matter, don't put people in situations where nobody can win. The best situations are where multiple people win, including yourself. It also doesn't hurt that some people win more than you, so long you win a decent share.
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Don't go into situations where you think how can I get back at someone. Instead think how I can deflect or mitigate the problems they can give me (ideally without hurting others)
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What some people think is fair is not actually always fair
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If the best case scenario is you putting in several times more than you getting back, ask yourself whether it's still worth it (sometimes it is, but oftentimes it's not).
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A house needs to be built on solid foundations (something from the Bible). You would often come back to the same foundations like 80% of the time. When you train, you go back to the fundamentals. You don't always need to use the more advanced stuff, but they are useful to have when the occasion does come up. Never neglect the foundation, no matter how high you climb.
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Plan for contingencies. However, you don't need to usually Plans D-Z. Often Plan A-C are enough e.g. Plan A 80% of the time, B 15%, C 5%. If you plan properly and plan well, Plan A alone should do the job.
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Do things with an intention or goal in mind. If you don't, you're just being reactionary i.e. you're not important or the thing you're doing is not important (in which case, why are you doing it?)
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When dating, ask yourself can you see yourself being with this person in the next 5 to 10 years? If you can't, why are you in the relationship?
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Date for personality over looks. Whilst looks play a part, personality plays a bigger part and is usually more important in the long run.
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When checking for compatibility, you're checking for values, life goals, and what you want in the relationship. You're not checking for opinions on politics, common interests, etc.
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There's a lesson behind every relationship. If you don't learn from those lessons, like history, you're doomed to repeat it. Having said that, make sure you're learning the right lessons; you can learn the wrong ones which can also set you back.
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It's surprisingly little that you need to do/have to become someone people want to date. You don't actually need to move mountains. If you do move mountains, be careful that you're setting yourself up being someone that they think is too good for them.
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Time is money only if you're doing something that actually earns that money, otherwise you're just blowing hot air.
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Earning money is not the same thing as making money. Earning money implies you spend time in exchange for money. Making money implies you're exchanging value for money.
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When buying things, you don't always need to buy the cheapest (you sometimes get what you paid for), but it needs to adequately meet your needs. If you do buy something, buy it for the value for money that you get. If there's something about it that you don't value, then you shouldn't have to pay extra for that.
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If you have nothing and know nothing, the first step is to invest in yourself (knowledge, skills, etc.) before you invest in things.
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You would be surprised by how much of life is actually psychology and very little technicality. If you have the right mindset and know how to influence people, you can actually get pretty far in life. In contrast, the technical skills don't get you as far.
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When doing exams, your performance can be down to 40% knowledge, 40% mindset, 20% strategy. Mindset can make up a big chunk of the outcome; make sure you have the right mindset
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An amazing product can still sell well with mediocre to bad marketing. An appauling product and not even the best marketer on the planet can make it work. Make sure what you are offering - be it idea, yourself, an actual product - is good enough first.
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The right internship can often be more important than getting any high paying job.
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Being a gentleman/lady is also about respecting oneself as well as respecting others. It's not a sign of weakness, but others can see it that way. Don't stoop to the level of those belittling you unless you need to for very good reasons (oftentimes it's not worth it).
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Always remember those who were beside you when you were at your lowest. Make sure to reward and appreciate them when you have reached your highest (chances are they won't even ask for anything back, even if they deserve the world). It's kind of like the saying "women are tested when men have nothing, and the men are tested when they have everything", but this is more general and applies to friends, associates, etc.
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Sometimes a stranger can be kinder and more honest than a family or friend. Even then, be careful of who you trust.
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Trust people slowly, but not so slow that everything is at snail pace. Also trust, but verify/tie down the camels.
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In the world, there's about 5% of people who can make your life living hell. The rest of the population can actually be decent people. Don't let the 5% ruin it for the remaining 95%. The odds even out in the long run.
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Really bad days can just be a product of some bad problems/decisions that have compounded over time and they all happen at the same time. If those problems were managed well and managed properly, everything shouldn't have collapsed like dominoes.
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Everybody is responsible for their own lives. Don't assume responsibility for someone else (unless it's for your kid or someone vulnerable). Don't push responsibilities onto someone else.
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Someone who looks after others is attractive, be it a guy protecting others or a woman caring/nurturing others (I'm assuming pronouns and genders here, but feel free to change what you assume for yourself).
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Don't take advantage of others; it usually comes back to haunt you.
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Don't ask for the moon and stars if you can't deliver you end of the bargain. Deals are made roughly fair and square, otherwise people will feel cheated.
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People usually grow at their own pace. Forcing people to grow excessively beyond what they want or feel ready for usually doesn't help.
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Perfectionism can be exhausting and very individual i.e. it's an art form. If you need to be perfect all the time, you will end up being tired and resentful.
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Not everyone is perfect, and don't expect them to be. If you keep expecting people to be perfect, then can tire very quickly. They do need to be good enough.
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Try not to make mistakes where possible. Minimising mistakes can be one the easiest ways to improve at minimal cost e.g. exams where you can get a lot of marks by minimising mistakes
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There's more than one way to buy a house. As I am not a regulated professional, I can't tell you what they are.
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When arguing about something, make sure you know what the opposition is arguing about before you argue for your side. Mindless arguments leads nowhere and resolves nothing.
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When people say something, they want to be heard irrespective of whether they're right or wrong. Acknowledge their point before you say anything else
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Be compliant to rules and regulations. Non compliance is like having a shield full of holes; each one can be fatal.
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Have fun in life every now and again. Life is generally boring as it is; don't make your life more boring than it needs to be.
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Money won't solve all your problems. Just as you don't solve problems by throwing money at it, you can't sort everything out with just money. Money is more like an amplifier. Any good or bad things that you have in your life, the more money you have the bigger they get. Sort out your problems before you sort out your finances i.e. if you can do good with a little, you can usually do good with a lot.
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Some people have an ideal figure where they would be comfortable with i.e. not everyone needs or wants to be a billionaire in order to be OK. What's your figure?
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Being a billionaire can also take a huge toll and requires you to go the extra mile. Are you willing to go the distance and make the right compromises? If not, think this through carefully about whether you want to be one.
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When you have everything, you suddenly find yourself in the midst of a lot more friends and family than you thought you have. Be careful of who you trust and what you tell others.
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I personally would forgo certain good deals if it means I compromise certain relationships. I could always make money, but I can't always have certain relationships. Know where you stand on this.
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Having the right partner is more important than having just any partner - in any context. Be careful of who you associate, work, and have relationships with.
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Look up Steven Covey's matrix on how to prioritise your work (a bit of time management)
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I personally would rather train the right person with the right values who knows nothing and have no skills, than employ or have someone who is an expert but the wrong person with the wrong values. A toxic competent person can cost you a lot more than an incompetent one.
I should probably stop there, otherwise I could end up writing an entire book. There's probably a lot more, but I rather not spam the thread.
If you want something specific to university studies, let me know.
The sort of life skills and knowledge that I advocate that all kids and adults should know include:
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Basic maintenance e.g. plumbing, electrician, cars, gas, DIY
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How to dress properly and apply appropriate makeup, including colour coordination
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Speed reading
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Touch typing
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Effective note taking (not jot everything down) and revision (not reread everything) techniques, how to study (not passively read something), effective exam strategies
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How to apply maths to everyday situations
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How to cook properly instead of following recipes and instructions and basic hygiene e.g. how do you know meat is cooked? When to throw food out? When is something ripe? When is something not safe to eat?
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Financial management (some schools do teach this, but often not to the level that I think is adequate) and how to make logical financial decisions
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Basic law and where and how to find such information if you're not sure on something
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Chemicals around the house
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People skills e.g. social, persuasion, negotiation, relationships, dating
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What a healthy relationship looks like
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How to write properly outside of school and the types of styles of writing
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Etiquette - local and international
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Survival skills
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Effective CV writing - not how it's taught, as well as how to effectively get a job
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How to research
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How to entertain guests
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How to shave and basic grooming
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How to walk properly, dance
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How to ride a bike, fix a bike
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How to garden and grow your own food properly - good for general health to farm food as well as saving money and knowing what good produce looks like
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How to drink alcohol and how to manage drinking/drink responsibly
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How to quit addictions or habits
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How to fix a computer (basics)
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How to breathe and meditate - could have really helped with some primary school kids
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How to travel and not get lost
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Producitivity and time management
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Emotional intelligence
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How to think creatively - not just in creative subjects, IT, maths, etc. There is a process involved
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How to think for yourself/independently
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How to find your passion and develop self awareness
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How to know if something is wrong or off for you
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How to learn something by yourself, especially if it's something completely new to you
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How to make good decisions
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How to think and the different ways of thinking
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Practicing good mental health
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How to become a better person and self development in general
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Sex education that goes beyond the basic sex health
There's probably more to the list, but the rest has somewhat escaped my mind. I might add them in later at some point.
I would also rather not get into the debate since it's going to open up a number of cans of worms.
Sorry it's taken a while for me to respond, starting my third year of uni and a new job next week has made me busy with preparation and arrangements for it. Thank you again for taking the time to write out such detailed and insightful posts - I've definitely learned a lot and have reflected on a lot of the things I normally do, I'd like to keep learning and working on myself and your posts have been really helpful in providing me clarity, it is not at all spam and I'm rather grateful for all this. Your third post has definitely given me awareness as to things I should be looking at and I've realised that these are important things that I don't pay attention to - but I suppose I still have a long time to work on things seeing as I've just turned 22, I'll try my best
You're a very wise person and I truly am thankful that you've given me such great advice - Thank you.Quick Reply
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