I hit my younger brother

Am I in the wrong?

What are your thoughts?

Get out and stay out. Your Mother is typically besotted by her beloved sons and is weak. She still sees your younger Brother as a 'baby'. Your younger Brother senses this, laps up the hand foot attention and abuses the privilege of staying in your Mum's house. She wants everyone to know he is the 'big man'. There is no one else to challenge him. He wants the power and position of 'being in charge'. I don't hear any mention of another male figure in your household ie your Dad?

If it is your Mum's house it is for her to decide what goes on under her roof. That is her choice, even if those decisions are bad ones. She has that responsibility to decide her own living and her own personal arrangements. Given your Brother's rude and offensive behaviour on holiday I doubt your Mum will bother to take him away again.

Talk to your Mum. Explain how you find the whole situation. Explain what you are doing and let your Mum know you will help her if she asks for it. Then go away and live your own life as best you can. Never lend him any money ever, you will only maintain his toxic lifestyle . As aggravating as your Brother is there is little you can do. I understand it irritates the crap out of you, and it hurts to feel powerless to be unable to do anything. You are all adults.

Yes

You've made a loser of yourself by beating someone younger who didn't fight back and still trying to flex about it, you can't really say a word about weed or rudeness any more because he can just clap back that you're an abusive yob *shrug*

"as if he owns the house and can do as he pleases." - It's not your house either so strange you feel it's your place to make and enforce the rules for others.

First of all, I'm not flexing at all. I've posted here because I feel like I made a mistake and of course I've severed our relationship probably for good now.

And no I don't own the house, it's not my place to enforce the rules that's true. But nobody was and he wad taking advantage. I had moved out for a time and when I came back, the house was chaotic, he had friends over all hours of the night, shouting with loud music and snorting with his friends in the bathroom constantly going in and out every 20 mins.

I stayed silent and patient for about 5-6 months before I said something knowing it wasn't my place but my mum just isn't as strong as she used to be I guess and he takes advantage of her for that. But now my mum turns the other cheek and says we're the same and she doesn't need me to defend her so I've ridden myself the burden of that matter because its not pleasant for me either to have to try and bring some semblance to the house.

I honestly don't care if he thinks I'm an abuser because tbh he always has a reason to justify his actions. Its the way kids grow up now in the UK. No self accountability. Yes I don't own the house but I do my part where I can, I take care of my own chores and when my mum asks for money I give it, even when it was for him.

Nah with talk of 'packing his little suitcase' and stuff you're still trying to flex and show dominance.

The brother you describe certainly sounds an ahole but doesn't change what you've become, there's no point you banging your own drum about kids today, self accountability or being ungrateful for your 'help' when you just because a huge part of the problem and lost the right to talk down to anyone. You're mum said you were just the same and you've played right into it haven't you?

So I'm 26 and my brother is 19.

We live together with my mother and my mother is worried about him because he's not doing anything with his life.

I had moved out for a time and moved back to find a chaotic household where my brother had a bunch of his friends over all night, playing loud music, shouting and snorting god knows what in the bathroom.

After staying patient for a few months, I had enough and told him I didn't want his friends over past 10pm, then the music down and no smoking weed in his room.

He agreed to it, a few days later he tried to trst the waters and smoked again which I reprimanded him in front of his friends. He told me later he understood why I did that.

Now he and mother go abroad together for 7 weeks. Upon return, my mother was complaining how he was so rude, unhelpful, and according to her was so upset at her at one points. He was hurling insults at her, saying she was always going to be poor, saying other obscene things. My mother grabbed a branch to defend herself since he apparently looked as if he was going to hit her. The situation dissolves but my mum kept saying she doesnt see him in the same way.

So last night, I came back home at midnight, and I smelt weed and smoke in the house. Now a few days prior, I smelt the same but nowhere near as strong and he said he'd smoked outside and come back in. This time I knew the difference. My mother was sleeping and she had work in the morning so I slept.

The next day, I wake up, I ask him did you smoke in your room last night. He gave home that same reason, I said I can tell the difference, that you are lying to me. He tried to dismiss me saying he didn't have time for this, I called him a pussy for not owning up to the truth and that agitated him and he got in my face, so I hit him twice and he stumbled back and fell on the ground. He seem surprised and wa saying are you really going to hit your own brother. I hit him twice more and told him about what I had heard about him and my mother and that I had enough of him not listening. I took it as a personal insult, the fact he was smoking in the room, as if he didn't care about us, or the agreement he made, as if he owns the house and can do as he pleases.

I also brought up the fact that i overheard him saying to his friend he thought my gf was ugly and that she was into him because he was a "rapper" when it only intrigued her because she does music production. She laughed and pitied my brother when I told her.

I just had enough of his ****, I had been staying patient for years and years, hoping that he would change, but there's been so many times my mum has tried to get him a job, a course, an apprenticeship, about 2 or 3 times she helped stop him from going to prison.

I feel a little guilty because he didn't really fight back and my my mum condemns me because she says I'm the older one, I should know better because he's younger but for how long is that excuse valid for? He's a grown man, and if he'd just kept his word and stopped smoking in the house, I'd let him to as he pleases but he can't even keep that compromise.

So he packed his little suitcase and went to stay over a friend's for a few days.

I sent him a message, saying I'm not proud of what I did, and that I no longer want to be involved in anything to do with him and my mum. I'm starting an apprenticeship November with plans to move out hopefully before the end of next year.. I can't take the stress they both give me.

Am I in the wrong?

What are your thoughts?