My friends forgot my birthday (again)
I think I’m just looking for advice on what to do next & if choosing to distance myself is dramatic.
For the 3rd time 2 of my oldest friends have forgotten my birthday.
The first time was a couple of years ago in my late teens (I’m an older student) and I truly didn’t care at the time as we were all dumb kids and it didn’t feel important at the time, plus our friendship got much stronger over the years.
The next time was in 2020, I chalked it up to being a rough year for everyone. One of them sent a message the day after & the other 2 days after.
And then this year - it’s been 1 day and still no word yet.
Some background
- I don’t have Facebook so it’s not as if they’ve missed a reminder
- I got out of an unhealthy relationship only this year and whilst I was in it, I really withdrew from everything at the end of it & whilst I started to rebuild my life. So I’m thinking that maybe I haven’t been a good friend even though I’ve always celebrated their birthdays.
- my birthday is the same day as one of their siblings.
For the 3rd time 2 of my oldest friends have forgotten my birthday.
The first time was a couple of years ago in my late teens (I’m an older student) and I truly didn’t care at the time as we were all dumb kids and it didn’t feel important at the time, plus our friendship got much stronger over the years.
The next time was in 2020, I chalked it up to being a rough year for everyone. One of them sent a message the day after & the other 2 days after.
And then this year - it’s been 1 day and still no word yet.
Some background
- I don’t have Facebook so it’s not as if they’ve missed a reminder
- I got out of an unhealthy relationship only this year and whilst I was in it, I really withdrew from everything at the end of it & whilst I started to rebuild my life. So I’m thinking that maybe I haven’t been a good friend even though I’ve always celebrated their birthdays.
- my birthday is the same day as one of their siblings.
Sorry - OP here. They’re my oldest + closest friends.
Around a year ago we all started to drift apart but we meet up always for birthdays (not mine clearly) and every few months for check ins with everyone’s lives. I seen them 2 weeks ago so it’s not that we aren’t talking
Around a year ago we all started to drift apart but we meet up always for birthdays (not mine clearly) and every few months for check ins with everyone’s lives. I seen them 2 weeks ago so it’s not that we aren’t talking
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry - OP here. They’re my oldest + closest friends.
Around a year ago we all started to drift apart but we meet up always for birthdays (not mine clearly) and every few months for check ins with everyone’s lives. I seen them 2 weeks ago so it’s not that we aren’t talking
Around a year ago we all started to drift apart but we meet up always for birthdays (not mine clearly) and every few months for check ins with everyone’s lives. I seen them 2 weeks ago so it’s not that we aren’t talking
It may not be what you want to hear but as horrible as it is having people forget your birthday (One of my exes forgot my birthday... while I was dating her!!) it isn't always on purpose. Some people don't have calendars to set reminders on and if you're not on facebook it could be that the birthday went right over their heads. I know I've forgotten birthdays before until one of my slightly better memoried friends reminds me! It might be worth subtly telling people next year about a week before something like ''hi guys next saturday im going out for my birthday with my (insert family member here) im really looking forward to it'' just to jog their memory?
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