How would you react if you found out a friend lied about their age?

Hi. I need some opinions about what you would do if you found out a friend of yours had lied about their age please.

My boyfriend has just started uni this year. He is 27 and attending as a mature student, doing a BA. He has been put in halls so with a lot of students who are probably younger than him, mostly likely to be 17/18/19

Apparently age hasn't come up yet so he is unsure of the exact ages of the people in his friend group and they don't know his exact age yet. He looks very young for 27, he could easily pass for maybe 22. He has told me that if anyone asks, if it comes up, he will lie about his age and tell his new friends that he's maybe 20/21/22, he hasn't decided yet but it will be quite a few years younger than he actually is. It's because he's worried that if they know he is older, they won't want to be friends with him.

I've said this is a terrible idea and if he ends up being close friends with these people, maybe moving in with them etc and they find out his real age maybe a year or so down the line (because they're bound to find out at some point if they become close friends) then they will be really shocked that he's lied to them and he will loose them as friends. I know that my own friendship group would find it really creepy for someone to lie about their age and that person would be instantly unfriended and they would probably tell others to stay away from him. I think this could go really badly for him.

He disagrees with me, thinks that once they get to know him as a person and like him, it won't matter when they find out his real age. I'm trying to get through to him that the problem won't be his age, it will be the lying. But he won't have it.

We were planning for me to go up and visit him soon and he's been talking about me meeting his new friends...I asked if he expected me to go along with the lie and does that mean I'll have to say I'm a different age too? (I'm 26). He said yes if they ask but they probably won't ask your age...

I'm really worried about this and I don't feel like I can go visit him and go along with the lie. He thinks I'm overacting and totally wrong about this and that lots of people lie about their age, it's no big deal and his friends won't be too bothered if they ever find out.

So...am I overacting?

What would your response be if you met someone at uni who told you he was 22, or the same age as yourself, you got close with them, maybe moved into a house share with them and at some point down the line you found out they were actually 27 and lied about their age?

Reply 1

ManUtd_21

I honestly think that you're right in this situation, and you're definitely not overreacting! I don't see why he feels the need to lie about his age? I don't think that his friends would or even should be bothered that he's older than them.