I think my friend is a pathological liar

Hi

So there's this girl that I've known for two years (let's call her Amy). Amy used to have more friends, but recently only had me and my best friend. I haven't been spending loads of time with her lately, but my best friend has, and I started thinking about some of the stuff this person tells me. I realized a lot of it sounded sooooo far fetched so I talked to another friend who told me that it's true and that's why she started moving away from Amy

some of the things Amy has told me include stuff like romantic partners we've never met and who she has no photos of when she has photos of literally everything else! Her partners always cancel just before we meet them and break up with her soon after. She lied about her nationality, told us she speaks loads of languages when she only speaks like one and some conversational other stuff, she lied about what her mum does for a living to make her sound super important, lied about memorizing a whole book whenever I ask her about this one she just gives the same lines from the book which I've just discovered are incorrect. She told me she spoke this language that I study at school and this language isn't like other languages in the way of works and when I reminded her of this she just said that they hadn't learnt that stuff at her old school but IT'S LITERALLY THE FIRST THING YOU LEARN IN THIS LANGUAGE nothing else makes sense without it. I recently did a really hard exam and got a good result but apparently she did the same thing a year ago and got a similar result but never mentioned it to any of us until now. And some of the other stuff she tells me about her old school just cannot be true it would literally be illegal and child endangerment.

Sorry about that. I found all of this out today and just needed to vent.

Eve n worse is that I just realised she constantly puts other people down. I used to think she was just truthful but I've realized she isn't. She says stuff that is downright untrue about people. She kept telling me that the exam was too hard for me and I wasn't going to pass and I thought she was just trying not to get my hopes up but I think she was just putting me down and t hat isn't the first time this has happened. She's said stuff like this to old friends too.

the other thing is t hat when I asked her why a'll her old friends didn't want to hang out with her anymore she said that they had started being rll y mean to her all of a sudden but according to this one girl who broke off a friendship with her it's because the y caught onto her lies and didn't want to spend time with her anymore and I get that

75% of her life' is fabricated and I don't really want t spend time with her anymore but I don't want to abandon my best friend who only really talks to Amy and me now. My best friend is super sweet and quirky but a little naive like me sometimes it's probably why were friends I don't know if she could take finding th is stuff out because she hasn't really been maintaining her other friendships like I have I want to pull me and my friend away from this girl subtly how can I do that?

sorry this is so long it 's been a crazy day and I needed a bit of a rant

Reply 1

Muttly

Yes you could be right.

Someone who makes up a fantasy world is in a very lonely and unhappy place. The creation of 'bigging up' can be used to bolster a very damaged self esteem, and can be from a lifetime of broken relationships.
I am sure you are right that there are big problems. Her life to date is probably very interesting and very sad. However if someone lies it is difficult to know when someone is telling the truth. Everyone is vulnerable but you have to decide what you are prepared to put up with, and know that you are very unlikely to be able to trust her (but you never know)

You have a choice to confront her with all of her made up stuff. Tell her that you know she lies and still agree to be her friend. See how she reacts. Although you do be sure of your facts before you confront her. If she kicks off you have probably hit a nerve and will be on the right lines. Be curious about what her background is and take time to find out. She may feel so out of her depth in amongst others seen as 'genius and clever' Who knows?

You could always try to be the one friend anchor she has and maybe never has had. She might recognise and gravitate to you after seeing something in you both that she feels safe with. There are no easy answers here. If she is untrustworthy, steals or is after money or other stuff you may have to run for the hills. Sorry no easy answers. But try not to give up on someone too easily or too soon.

Reply 2

londonmyst

Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

She may be an idiotic attention seeker, an immature jerk with some fantasist tendencies, delusional and with a history of serious mental health problems, a sociopathic liar or even worse.

Reply 3

Muttly

Original post by londonmyst

Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

She may be an idiotic attention seeker, an immature jerk with some fantasist tendencies, delusional and with a history of serious mental health problems, a sociopathic liar or even worse.